13 February, 2006

22 Jan. Straussian I's

22 January 2006 @ 01:17 pm
Straussian I's
I am not feeling particularly motivated to practice, I mean, learn my recital music.
I'm a little sick (thanks to all of those flu-carriers who came to rehearsal last week with fevers even though they should have stayed home), and I am more than a little anxious about the fact that there are less than 6 weeks (as of yesterday) until my recital, and that I still have not picked out my last two sets of music.
I'm on the fence with two Strauss sets, both completely new, or just sticking in two old Strauss pieces that I have sung before and being done with it. And the last set is more of an idea than something I actually have the music to currently.

Not good.

I'm hearing these lovely songs (Brentano) and thinking, yes, I should learn them. They are really done often on recitals, in chamber orchestra pieces. I should know this. But my mind is not moving toward learning it. I can't really play it (well, I haven't tried, but it looks a bit harder than the usual Mozart that I can get through), it's hard to hear chord changes when you only play melody, and hence, the whole thing is in general harder for me to learn.
This doesn't happen to me with roles! I just do it. I know I'm contracted to do it and I learn it.
It's hard too, but somehow it's different.
This I haven't even put my mind to yet because I have so little motivation, and I'm already in self-doubt about whether I can actually learn it or not.
I KNOW I CAN learn it if I would stop writing in this blog, checking my email every five seconds, or turning the TV on or watching the DVD of Arrested Development or wondering how fast I can type per minute, or doing ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to distract myself from sitting down and actually trying to learn new music.

Current Mood: frustrated
Current Music: the first two measures of amor.

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