30 July, 2006


Tonight was the opening night (after a preview night) for our musical review here. It was pouring rain, thundering and lightening, but we pulled in almost a full house at 10:30pm and did a really nice job--and (gasp!) had a lot of fun!
I always wished that I could be NOT the ingenue character in musical theater. I was never Rizzo. Always Sandra D. Maybe it's the look, the high voice, whatever...but it's not the temperment or the lack of a belt!!! This time it was no different- the Bride, the love interest, the love-duets, etc... But when we got to Anything You Can Do and I finally got to rip out that high B and C I felt pretty good about all those musical theater years that I left behind--from listening to Guys and Dolls and Jekyll and Hyde Every day in Highschool, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (and wishing I was the Narrator) in Middle School, and just loving any old time movie musical and theater musical that I could get to.

It's fun, it's easy, and yes, I do remember why I didn't pursue it- dancing!!!!
I never took lessons! I can learn combinations and get it together for a show (with rehearsals and more rehearsals) but I'm not one of those people that know what a sautee something or other is to the left. I actually enjoy it once I know that I know it, but the process of doing something that I KNOW I'm not necessarily good at right off the bat is really challenging and daunting.
It makes me want to take adult ballet and theater dance classes. Maybe after this next move if I have time.

Dance 3? Looks...???


26 July, 2006

sausage links

On bel canto:
Legato is achieved how? Vowels? Air? Dynamics? Direction?
What about Portamenti? yes? no? where? why?
I had a Sonnambula coaching today- just because I'm learning the role for my own personal use and hopefully future use as well.
Of course, as usual, when I feel like I'm doing nothing and getting nothing across and not really "singing", that's when the singing happens.
When I try to make a line, it gets to be sausage-y (you know what I'm talking about), I start accenting Italian that shouldn't be accented, bad habits from recordings listened to creep in, and in general, it sounds manufactured.

When will I learn to just say the words and the notes and feel them? Feel that emotion, feel that line, feel the direction, feel myself- as that character- being involved in the story?

Ok, yes, it's difficult to sing about how fast my heart is beating for a fourth verse in a row, but hey-that's what ornaments are for!

The recit is accompanied, but that doesn't mean that I need to breathe every time there is a rest! That doesn't mean I can't take my time, speed up, play inside the grid.
I know all of these things, but putting them together and letting them just "be" in the back of my head is harder than I think. Because to be able to "let go" and feel like I'm doing nothing, those things all need to be living within me already.


24 July, 2006


Our second show/closing night performance was this evening.
We had a break since Friday, and it being Monday and all, I think many of us were still sleeping off the weekend, or wishing that they had some more time to have a weekend.
Now, no one ever wishes low energy upon a show. But you pretty much know when the call is at 6:40 and you roll out of your afternoon nap at 6:05, not having eaten or warmed up, that it's going to be a long night.
I was actually able to pull it together, eat, warm up, feel good vocally, and muster up the energy to go out onstage and give something.
But the whole show just felt a bit under. The orchestra was just a little out of it, the tempi were...well, slower in some spots, faster in some spots, people made little flubs and it just felt not so tight.
How do you prevent that? Are there singers/personalities that can just go onstage and everything is light and bright and everyone all of a sudden gets excited to be there and be making this music and drama?
I know that I can do that for myself, but I'm not sure it can inspire anyone else around me...at least it didn't seem to tonight.

The review of the Friday show was very good to everyone, and I even got a very nice review for the Queen in concert as well.

Now I'm officially finished with the bulk of my mainstage assignments here this summer. I actually have a rep coaching tomorrow, and I can look forward to the Revue, a lighter chorus, some dancing, and mostly working on my own music, and the scenes for the end of the program.


22 July, 2006

the night of the show y'all (part 2)

We opened tonight to a lovely audience, in great spirits, really wanting to move people- and we did- to both laughter and tears in the double bill of Suor Angelica and Schicchi.

This morning, yes, morning- I had a QOTN rehearsal for the concert performance with orchestra tomorrow night, so I was warmed up pretty high, but to sing Genevieve I had to pretty much not talk or sing for a few hours so I'd "warm down", to be able to sing over that Puccini orchestra with the E,F,G above middle C type of low notes over a forte or mf wall of sound.

I gggueesss I am pleased with the performance? I mean, I got really great and nice comments from the director, chorus master, diction coach, rehearsal pianist--they all said it was great. And added to that, my boss-to-be was there tonight and I spoke with him after the performance. He was really pleased and said my voice had grown and gotten bigger since last he heard me (audition in December), and it was sounding really great.
So yayyyyyy!

I think of my part as pretty small in this, although it is the 3rd longest part after Angelica and the Principessa---so I wasn't really paying that much attention to whether it was my best or not (funny how that happens when you're not the lead in, say, Lucia, or singing Queen or something like that)...of course it's "important"...but it doesn't feel like the show is riding on you. There is SO much less pressure, but you can still steal the show or make your mark.
Not that I'm trying to steal the show as Genevieve!!! Our Angelica was absolutely stunning, and a great gal.

That's all for tonight--must attempt to refrain from playing Textwist until all hours of the night, and try to go to sleep so I can sing queen four or five times tomorrow (including the performance).


20 July, 2006


6am on day of said career crap.
why am I awake with what seems like an irritated/dry throat?


career crap

I guess I can't really type about this.
Someone is coming to hear the young artists here.
I want to sing for them. Just because I think that you should have an "introduction" audition to a program like this, where you're pretty sure since you're a first-timer you won't get into the finals...but I want to make myself known to them.
BUT I already have a contract for next year, and I don't want to make it seem like I'm throwing their own rules in their faces, which clearly state that I should not audition unless I can be in the finals and be in the program.

There is a lot more to this, but I can't write about it.
I'll decide tomorrow shortly before 1:21- my audition time.


17 July, 2006


10-12:30 Orchestra Wandelprobe

12:30-1:30 LUNCH (whatever I can slap on two pieces of whole wheat bread that is in the fridge)

1:30-3 Staging ensembles
3-3:25 Maestro QOTN coaching
3:30-4 Cover coaching
4-5 Staging ensembles
5-6 Staging duets

6-7 DINNER (If like tonight I'll be too hot and tired to eat- made a blueberry and Activia and pineapple juice smoothie and then ate a Greek salad around 8:30pm during our break at the theater)

7-10 call to theater for run-through number two in costume and makeup (and 90 degrees with no AC)

This will pretty much be my daily schedule until opening this Friday and the concert on Saturday.

EmergenC, advil, cough drops, water, gatorade, bananas, and nettipot are all at hand!


16 July, 2006


Two huge blows in two days.
One- professional. Yesterday at rehearsal for a certain performance the whole cast was basically demoralized by one of the directors. We had just had an amazing rehearsal- the first one in a LONG time- long being a week of five rehearsals that involved the cast being a little non-enthusiastic due to a very grueling and not happy rehearsal and blocking/staging process. Nothing was said to anyone's face, but the attitudes of some may not have been the best.
Well, we got chewed out for it, and told that we would do this the directors way come hell or high water and we'd better shut up and get with it.
And that is the censored 30 second clip version of the 5 minute verbal abuse.

Two-personal. Let's just leave it at that since I have my private diaries to write down the would-be thoughts that I wanted to be sharing with the love of my life about our communication problem this summer.

Run-throughs for the show start Monday. Better get some sleep this weekend and buy a week's worth of food since I know I'll be in the theater or in rehearsals and coachings from 10am-10pm every day this week.


12 July, 2006

post-show g'byes

It's hard to say goodbye- to friends, to acquaintances, but especially to people whom you have gotten to know over a very short time, maybe say three weeks, professionally, personally, and whom you have a relationship with. You esteem them for their talent, their spirit, what they give on stage and off, and all of a sudden, just as quickly as you were introduced to them and had to start playing opposite them, they have their final performances as mainstage artists and continue to their next destination or vacation. What are the odds you will work with them again? Well, in this business they seem pretty good. But who knows when or where that will be? You can always google their careers, follow them, wish them luck, stay in touch with monthly or seasonal emails to let them know what you're doing, how you miss them, how you see that they are doing well too, but it's a strange dynamic. Here they are, ten or more years older than you, having gone through the same type of young artist situation years back or decades back, knowing the business in and out, and you were onstage together with them--making something,...really creating.

And now it's gone.
Does that mean the "relationship" is gone too? Was it all just a collegial front for the stage and for cast relations? Well, I don't think so, and I don't think that they do either, but it's all too easy to just forget about being real people when you are at this place to work and not really create personal relationships or friendships. Even though, of course, that is what ends up happening.

So what am I trying to say?
Well, I'm trying to say that MAYBE just maybe after this program number X of mine, that I'll stay in better touch with people that I know that I care about. That it won't just be the seasonal email to say what I'm doing and hear where they are. That I'll be able to call, email, whenever I please just to check in as a person, friend, and not just a singer.


10 July, 2006

it's the day of the show y'all

Yay- Opening night got a great review :) And even my tiny little appearance got very well reviewed with a comment about some sort of bright future in bigger and better things..awesome.
Tonight is performance numero deux, and I'm sure after the great opening and review we'll all be excited to do it again.
My day is yet again filled to the max before the performance, but I'll be fine I'm sure.

This weekend, wait, this yesterday one day off, was very nice. I slept and ate, and slept again. I got weirdly allergic to life on Saturday night, and hydrated all day, and continue to do so today so I can warm up to my not-so-high note of Aflat and be fine in my middle.

Just keep singin'/swimmin', just keep singin'/swimmin'


06 July, 2006


Today- tired.
Why? Hmm, run through last night with orchestra. My note is to now slow down the recits again...I'm taking that to mean give more interpretation and not actually slow down the whole tempo- because otherwise I wouldn't have enough energy for the character.
Oh yea, and then I just had to sing qotn's aria seven times...yes, that's seven. Four time the Ozittre and three times the Du,du,du... oh joy to the world.
I feel a tad fried and still have a whole day of staging and singing.
Tomorrow is opening night. I better shut it for the rest of the day and hope that my load isn't quite as full tomorrow.


04 July, 2006


A sense of achievement.
After the orchestra dress from this morning 1. the conductor was happy 2. the diction coach was happy 3. the musical coach was happy. All singin' the praises of being on the beat, ahead of the beat, clear, wonderful...
Not that I'm constantly looking for these things..but SOMETHING. some feedback. That's what I'm looking for. And until today with exception of two things I had to fix that I got directed about in rehearsal and onstage I've gotten no concrete feedback either way about my performance so far.


03 July, 2006

when it rains...it's raining.

Well, the shit has hit the proverbial fan in my personal life. And this after two days of soul-opening conversations, friendships expanded through sharing and trust, and happiness at the realization that "love is all you need"...or is it?

There was a very famous writer at a small dinner gathering for "opera parents" and their adopted summer kids, and some other friends. The question was posed to the singers present- all females- how do you balance wanting a career with wanting/having love, marriage, kids, etc.
We all said we wanted it all. We knew we may not be ready for one thing, but eventually we want it both- maybe not at the same time, but yes, in life.

And then this brilliant man of very few spoken words described to us the utter nothingness that is his life now that his wife is no longer living. How he now knows that nothing matters because there is no one to share it with. How he would not have changed anything in career or life because spending his life with her was the most important thing he ever did. How you bring one hundred percent of yourself to a relationship that is 50-50 with each person to make a whole....I mean, we were all tearing up.

And then last night happened. The final phone conversation of the summer perhaps. Because it's too painful to talk for just 5 minutes every night and not have it mean anything. Because somehow not speaking or communicating is going to make us stronger. Because it's not a relationship anyway if we don't have meaningful conversations and are more frustrated by the fact that the other person has a schedule that does not work the same way yours does, and therefore talk is Not cheap because there is always something to be running off to for the night owl, or sleep needed for the early bird.

I wrote about this a lot more at 2am last night when I was not sleeping, not thinking about the first sing-through with the conductor today...(in which apparently I had this character and voice and musicality all wrong because I was asked to repeat everything that I did a second time and do it differently...and it's not that I didn't sing well, it just wasn't the feeling that he wanted for the character. Alrightythen.)..and not really thinking about anything but crying anyway.