coaching

I have a coaching today with someone new at the opera whom I'm looking forward to working with.
He just conducted Ariadne auf Naxos in the US a few months ago, so I am hoping to get really specific with that...since it is... in my future at a company I'm not allowed to name at a time yet to be revealed, but I'm at least allowed to say TBA and it will be one of the biggest, if not the most 'high level' US house I will have sung at by that time.

What am I doing until then?
Well, it's 11:30 and I slept like a ROCK last night due to an extreme amount of sportive activities yesterday.
First- 25 minute bike ride TO bikram.
Then 1.5 hours of bikram.
Then 25 minute bike ride BACK home.
And in the evening:
25 minute ride TO swimming pool
20 minutes of laps (yes, I know this seems so little, but I've never been a swimmer before and I'm trying to start...so in the meantime, not hyperventilating after 20 minutes is a GOOD thing)
and then 25 minute bike ride home.

I woke up this morning feeling, good, but kind of headach-y which I think is because I didn't drink enough water after all of the activities. That shall pass, I shall have some BEE POPS cereal (otherwise knows as puffed wheat with honey in the US), and warm up a little before the coaching later this afternoon.

Maybe I'll even go on a bikeride.

I was GOING to be adventurous and try bikram 3 days in a row instead of my normal day off routine..buuuut, I think it's not going to happen today.


Back to the music, though---
I've been listening to the new opera that I am learning for next Spring, and I really like it. The story is always the same. Upon first introduction to 'new'/contemporary/modern music...I can appreciate it for what it is, but I can't quite get to the point of realizing the genius until I break it down, look at the relationships inside, listen to a section over and over until- OH YEA- THAT is what he was going for....well in the middle of that entire wall of sound, rhythm, and other general 'craziness to the ear'- I GET it now.

And I really like that. It's kind of like score study, only I'm not even studying my part OR writing the chord structure under some Beethoven sonata in theory class---I'm just... trying to 'get' it. Get what he did and why he did it.
The relationships of Western music to the ear are already ingrained in me. Some eastern (well, Middle Eastern) music as well. I understand it, it's familiar to me... but with new compositions, it always takes a little more time to figure out- theoretically and aurally- what he wanted, what I'm supposed to be hearing, and how it will all come together in the opera and in my role.

Mondiale

It's been three to four days straight of soccer, ...ooops, I mean Fussball.
Yes, we bought a tv specifically for the occasion.
No, we didn't have one before, yes, I will probably watch the news in German now and see if I can actually understand everything.

That would be sweet.

Ok, today I have massive workout goals... since yesterday we had an American style BBQ to watch the Germany footie game.

And here is the clash of cultures once again.

If I do say so myself, I make a mean guacamole.
It's not THAT tough, I know..but still- people at parties and bbq's usually go through a quite LARGE bowl of it before the food is even ready to be put on the grill.

So we bought 6 avocados, 3 bags of chips- expecting 10 people to easily tear through the stuff.

And- NOTHING!
They don't snack here!
I mean, if you have some GERMAN snacks they'll eat it (LIKE- TZATIKI sauce and BAGUETTE!!! WHAT?!?!?!), but they barely touched the guac AND the tortilla chips and THEN some of them put it on the burgers!
Umm, it's not KETCHUP! It's guacamole!

Ok, the burger thing was acceptable, but still, I was shocked at the amount that we had leftover, and the 2.5 bags of uneaten chips.

ALSO- there is this sauce here called "hamburger sauce". Don't ask me what it is. It looks a little orange. I did not try it. But I am guessing it is a combination of mayo and something..which would render it... GROSS...for my tastes.

Well, we had it last night, along with AMERICAN YELLOW MUSTARD and ketchup..
and again... what was opened and used?
"Hamburger Soese"....
what is THAT about people?

So our American style bbq really turned into a cultural awakening and me sitting here with a bowl of guac hoping not to gain a kilo by "having" to finish it.

I'll be seeing you after the run, the bikeride, the bikram class, AND the swim later this evening.

thanks.

progress

Bikram was easier today than day one-- that's a good thing. Body was sore and not as flexible today BECAUSE of day one..not so good.
I love the weather here and the fact that since I've been back I haven't taken public transportation at all. I can just ride my bike wherever I'm going.

My allergies feel a BIT better...I just stopped taking everything and hoped that my body would get used to it, and it feels like it has just a bit.

Practicing? Oh..haven't done that yet. But hey I've only been back..oh shoot, a week now.
D'OH!

Ok, tomorrow I'll practice. For Serious.

I just got asked to sing yet ANOTHER Koenigin (now they're extending the run into the fall?)
Whatever they're deciding to do, I have no idea, but as long as it still fits into my schedule (which it does- just three days after my LAST Koenigin performance at upcoming-new-place-I-haven't-sung-before---) which is all good.

From one to the next. It's pretty much going to be a summer fall and early winter of Queen. And that's just peachy keen.

routine

One bikram class down, a bunch more to go for the next three months.
Rode my bike there and back, which makes my total exercise for the day somewhere around 1.5 hours for bikram and 1 hour for biking...NICE.
And at least so far (it's only 10pm here there is still time) I haven't eaten the entire fridge to make up for all of that working out.

I memorized (kinda?) One version of one of the arias that I need to learn.
Here's the kicker- one of them is Mein Herr Marquis. You would think that every soprano would know this from the age of 20 on! But no- I've never been asked to sing it (well, in GERMAN that is...English, yes)...
So- I have to memorize it now.

If I keep up the 1/2 a verse or so per day, I will have the pieces memorized hopefully by the end of the week, which gives me 2 more weeks after that to give them all more character, etc... and that should be fine. Musically they aren't too difficult to sing or to remember, so as I'm memorizing I'm working that out as well.

What's crappy here is that allergies have descended upon me once again.
First day back, felt fine. Second day back- that tickle in my throat and then the coughing for no reason.
Now- stuffed up.
Of course the first thing the Apotheke tried to sell me was COUGH DROPS made from PLANTS.
People, I know you don't believe in 'real' medicine made out of CHEMICALS here, but it sure would have helped to have BENADRYL for those two days.
Anyway, I have 200 pills of mucinex, but because I wasn't stuffy and congested and had only a dry cough, that wasn't the way to go this time.
Finally I convinced some guy that it wasn't just a sore throat and that I was a singer and needed something to DEAL with it, so he gave me the OTC version of Zyrtec- methinks.
At least that's what he said it was.

So far, it's not doing much of anything. I may start the mucinex if my cough gets nasty...otherwise, I'm not stopping my outdoor activities just because of a little tree pollen or hay fever or grass allergy or whatever it is..
And anyway I don't have to sing "for real" until the end of the month...by which time hopefully my body will be fully adjusted to whatever allergens come my way here in Deutschland.

the swing of things

Well I haven't quite finished unpacking yet, but it's Sunday evening which means a 'normal' work week commences tomorrow.
And what do I have to do?
A whole bunch of NOT THAT MUCH!

What ever to do with my upcoming time off? Which is.. a LONG time off?
I have a show in the middle of the summer (another Queen performance), I have three arias that I NEED to learn by the end of this month for a competition.
I have a new opera to learn- but oh yea, that's for April of 2011!

And so, what will I do with my time?
First of all, get right back into Bikram.
Buy a three month pass which means I HAVE to do it.
Second- maybe just maybe try and see if there is a German class that I can take.

It'so so close now! I really DO understand much of what is being said to me, under any circumstances...any subject matter...I still just don't really feel comfortable enough to speak back...assuming that most of my chatter will be with incorrect articles or tenses or something of the sort.

When we go out to meet friends or go to parties and other gatherings, I can handle myself just fine. Yes, it's a lot of nodding and smiling (although- I UNDERSTAND! I'm just not quick enough to speak up in the moment yet)..but it's not like I feel like I have to tune out completely because I don't understand anything. Not the case anymore at all.

So- that may be something that I could work on for the next three months.

Career things are looking good. I feel good about the amount of singing I'm going to be doing from the fall until next Spring. What I'm still a bit frustrated about is the inability to get auditions for houses that are HERE, close-by, that for all intents and purposes should know that I at least 'exist'... I mean, hey, I may not be an international superstar (YET), but at this point I've sung many of the major roles in my repertoire, have a bit of momentum in terms of the debuts I'm making in the next half a year, am 'local', and would really just like to know what is going on...

Language barrier? Email vs. Mail vs. Phone preference? German? American? WHY is this not happening? SOPRANO?
And of course, this is an issue that I absolutely cannot work for on my own behalf. It HAS to be through agents...

So far no responses.
If I knew that there was something I could do to be more marketable, I'd be ON it.
Different repertoire? Vocal things? Appearance? I'm there.
But just to NOT be answered when requesting an audition, especially with rep like Koenigin which EVERY.Theater.Does.Every.Season-- is a little surprising and disheartening.
Again, not saying I'm the cat's meow for everyone out there... but if you want F's, you got'em. If you want someone local that can jump in, HOLLA. If you could JUST give it a chance...yea, that would be nice.

3 suitcases and nothing to wear

yes, I just brought home 3 suitcases filled with clothes...still scrounging through them this morning looking for something, anything to wear.

What does this mean and why?
It means...that I have too many summer summer clothes (ie, clothes for the Motherland- when it's always 90 degrees or hotter), and I have no 'it's mild in Europe' summer clothes.
DANGIT!

HOME

I'm baaaack!
That is all for now :)

I am (once again) a packing genius

You know this already.
There is always a post about how close my bags are to being overweight and how I can finagle my way onto the plane without getting charged or forced to check a carry on bag that I didn't want to check.

Peoples, this upcoming trip home is by far the most challenging yet.

Why?
Because I have to take a WEDDING DRESS with me.

Ok. When I came here for Lucia, I had- a carry on, a checked bag, and my laptop bag.

Mostly winter/spring clothes, fancy clothes, stuff I would need to live out of a suitcase/hotel room for 5 weeks.

NOW I want to go back with : my summer clothes. Of which I have many many many cute dresses. None of them have been lugged over to Deutschland yet- because, I only moved there at the end of August and brought- autumn/winter clothes.

So now, I had to make a choice...my summer clothes, tennis rackets, summer shoes OR some of my summer clothes and some winter clothes.

Guess who won? SUMMER all the way, baby.

Oh yea, also I have 15 pounds of ceramic engagement presents wrapped in said clothes.

So we have- one checked bag weighing in at 48.9 pounds.
The second checked bag weighing in at 49.3 pounds.

And here's the kicker. Well, I know I'm only supposed to have 'a purse and a carry-on'.
But--what about the DRESS?

Whatever. I have a carry on sized bag that right now weighs 25 pounds (even though the limit is 17).
I also have a computer bag that will be bustin' out all over, because it's acting as my purse--with wallet, ipod, headphones, passports, ricola, and all other airplane-needs inside.

And then..the dress.
What will they say? I dunno.
Hopefully nothing. They'll understand that I need to get it overseas and deal with it.
OBVS I'm not CHECKING a dress!
But I mean, I suppose they COULD make me check my 'carry on' bag so that I am only 'holding' two things...

that would be a buzzkill for 90 bucks since then I'd rather just take a full sized suitcase and bring even MORE things!!

Wow, has this whole post really been about things I want to bring back to Frankfurt? YEP!

I still can't believe that in the basement of my parents house are FULL sets of furniture, dishes, lamps, files, music, ... EVERYTHING that I lived with in the US for the past 5 years... and then some-- all of my childhood favorite books, stuffed animals (YES, stuffed animals!!!), and things I always wanted to 'save for when I have a house'...well, that's fine and dandy, except that MOST LIKELY my house will be all the way across an ocean--and what are the odds the the Berenstein Bears and Doctor Seuss books will be chosen of.. oh, let's say- ALL OF MY OPERA SCORES?!?!

Pretty slim.

Well, I don't care. I'm keeping them. As long as the storage is free and my parents don't 'accidentally' sell them in a tag sale some summer weekend when they decide to stop harboring the bounty of their three children's collegiate lives in the basement.

So I do have to admit that while I don't know what will happen with my CARRY ON bag this time...my checked bags will make the weight limit and I managed to bring most of the fun things that I wanted to bring..

On Sunday my insane 4 days of travel begin.
First, take a train to NYC, then a train to Newark. Then a shuttle to the hotel at the airport.
Super early Monday morning- fly to TX for a concert.
Super early Tuesday morning- Sing.
Super early Wednesday morning- from from TX THROUGH NC back to Newark (if I don't make my 25 minute connection I'm potentially royally screwed), and Wed. afternoon- check into my overnight flight from Newark- and at 6pm- DEPART FOR HOOOOOME!

I have a lot of things to be thankful for in the production that I just finished, the opportunity that it gave me to sing one of my most challenging roles to date, to get to do a new production, try new things on stage, have really supportive and awesome colleagues and directors and conductors around me...
but in the end, there is no place like home :)

So here's hoping for safe and ON TIME travels in the next few days.

the countdown

In a week and a day I'll be home.
In between that time, I will have:
a dentist appointment, a caterer appointment, a dress pickup appointment, a meet with the jazz band appointment, a flight to the West, a concert, a flight back, an and an attempt to pass a 50.6 pound bag through the checked bag lane next week.

For the first appointment of today, I'm just hoping they don't keep bugging me about my wisdom teeth. Who has time to get their wisdom teeth out? I mean, REALLY?

Yes, I know, the xrays show that mine have been impacted BUT HAVEN"T MOVED from that position...for the past 10 years...
Yes, I know that every time I go they say I should have a consultation with the oral surgeon. No, I have not followed up.
Ooops.

But I don't want to be one of those people that has a horrible surgery at the age of 45 and a really bad recovery time. Or worse, to have the teeth actually start to move at a time when I CAN"T have the surgery.

The plus to them saying that I may need to get them out: I'll have to do it this summer in Deutschland--which means, once I get on a plan...that actually it shouldn't be as crazy expensive as it is in the US.
The minus-- I'll have to get it done in Deutschland...with no recommendations of people that don't mess up singer's mouths and lives forever!
ahhhh!!!

Meh.
Back to menu planning.

In musical news, I have approximately 25 days to learn 3 operetta songs that I signed up for in some competition...d'oh! Why did I DO that?
Ok, one of them I should already totally know, from Die Fledermaus.
But the other two I will most likely NEVER have to know ever again...which is not much motivation for learning the 3 verses of German and the 2 verses of French.

blerg.
But I'll dooo eeeet!
Eventually.

it's all over!

Saturday night show, followed by Sunday matinee (no, it wasn't that painful even though waking up at 8am after only falling asleep at 2:30am was a bit rough), and it's ALL over! I've already boarded a plane, landed in NYC, planned my next week of packing frenzy, and am officially counting down to HOME!
It was an amazing experience..this role, this production, and what I had the chance to learn and do onstage.

More l8tr.
ciao for now...

opening niiiiiight

(please sing the title of this blog post as per the first few bars of The Producers. Thanks).

OK.
So it went REALLY REALLY REALLY well!
I warmed up about 2 hrs before the show, had a wrap for lunch, a banana an hour before curtain, drank a decent amt. of water, broke up one ricola into little shards of cough drop so that I could have something in my mouth before each entrance to stay hydrated, AND I felt like it went REALLY well.

Everyone was super happy with the performance, the friends, family, and production team lurved it, and I think I got to put my own special spin on this very exciting and challenging Lucia here.

Yayyy! Now to sleep, shut up for 24 hours, wash rinse and repeat on Saturday and Sunday.

it's the day of the show y'all..

Opening niiiiiiiiight.


I slept WELL! Shocking.
Turned the tv off somewhere between 12:30-1am, and FORGOT to turn my DANG alarm off from yesterday, so that went off at 8:30. Rolled around in bed and half-slept until 10.
I think that's pretty good!

Today's schedule:
Water, banana, Skype, workout (maybe swim laps instead of workout..that felt good), lunch with family that is in town, relax and shut up until my 6pm call.

Oh yea, write some cards and stuff, get there early and distribute said cards and candy and chocolate.

Oh yea, and run through the show in my head and warm up....riiiight. that too!

YAY!

day before the show

I had t wake up early to do a local tv interview today.
Oh, local television, how I love thee.

First there was a local baker who taught us how to make pistaccio mascarpone frosting for cupcakes that were really mini-wedding cakes.
K.
(cuz one of the anchor men guys is getting married this weekend).

Then there was an 80 year old reporter doing a story about new 'gifts and gadgets for dads and grads'. YES! the 80 year old was like- ipad? what? iwhaaat? netbook? what is that?

Then there was a guy talking about financial management and one of his 5 tips were "bundle"- meaning, your phone, your internet and your web. REALLY? did we NOT all do that in 2002? Thanks.
The other was "collect your documents" and then 'go paperless'! and he said it would be a bit trouble-some for the older viewers. NICE.

And then- me.
Talking about the opera, how I got into it, (after my affair with Musical Theater), and WHY should people come see an opera?

Well- among other things I said : Drama, emotion, blood, guts, love, hate..and teenage angst. So, hopefully I represented it well.

Watching the online clip is aalllllmost unbearable though. I feel like I make the silliest faces and non-symmetrical expressions...

Whatever, my family thinks it's good and they still all love me, right?
hahahaha.

SO. Opening night tomorrow!
YES, I have slept like crap for 2 days. It's probably because of the early wake-up calls for the final dress and this interview.
I'm HOPING that I get a decent night's sleep tonight...even though, I know I'll be nervous.

What I want to do today:
Go over all my words, and dramatic action...speed-style and real-style.
But not sing probably.

I've already done my 3 miles on the elliptical, but I"m considering an evening laps in the pool session followed by some hot tubbing. Maybe that will help me relax.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I luvya, tomorrow, you're only a Daaaaay, Aaaaaa-Waaaayyyyyyy.....

final dress

Yes, I sang Lucia at 10am this morning.
Yes, I had the high F's and G's from the original keys plus my new awesome cadenzas.
Yes, it went WELLLLLLL!!!!


I am SO ridiculously tired right now that I can't even think straight. I don't want to check my email, facebook, the Times, or anything else. I just want to lie in my bed and curl into a little ball.

Of course, the reason is lack of good sleep. When I know I have to wake up at 7am, combined with having a 'show', that pretty much equals
1. not being able to FALL asleep until 2am
2. waking up every hour making sure that's not 7am yet.

DANG. That makes for one overtired coloraturaaah.

And of course, I have an early morning tv interview tomorrow (the bags under my eyes should be pleasant)...

So- once I get back on track with my sleep schedule (trying to avoid falling asleep right now, although feeling lousy and maybe going to stay in bed all night anyway)... hopefully everything will be great for Thursday evening.

Oh yea- ALSO- instead of doing my 2 or 3 miles yesterday, I swam laps for 25 minutes. That was interesting.
I actually feel THAT more in my muscles than any of my other gym days.

Even though I SHOULD go down there today, I think I deserve a day off today.
I mean, I did a SHOW, right?
:)

almost orchestra dress

I can't really believe that we have tonight, Tuesday (MORNING! Yes, student matinee as our final dress), and then- OPENING.

WHHHAAAAATTTTT????


That is K-razy.

Tonight in the final orchestra dress I would like to feel as comfortable as possible.
I'd like to spend some time in the next hour going through my score, trying to recall any specific notes that I've gotten about things to tweak, noting places where I know I need to focus more on something specifically musical or dramatic, and just...letting things settle before the run.

I am still stained red from the fake blood from yesterday's rehearsal. I guess it just may be like that for the next week.
Thinking about time is so strange for me right now...
In exactly one week, at this time, I will be about halfway into our last performance, bags packed and in the trunk of the car waiting to take me to the airport immediately after the show, catch my plane to ny, one week to get my life together, pack, unpack, etc. as usual, one more concert, and then- back home for the summer.

And...of course, while I"m doing the shows, I know that I will be thinking about nothing besides the show. There is nothing else in the world while I am on stage doing this...only what happens on stage.

And then just like that- you're out of there.

I was just going to write a bit about nerves, etc..but I think I'm just going to skip over that. Yes, I get nervous. Yes, sometimes I don't know what will happen because of it..but you know what? I've been doing really really great so far, and I love what is happening out there. Needing to think positively and not write any type of diatribe about what could possibly happen or what I'm thinking about...is better.
So- thinking positively.
Things are good. Better than good. I will physically and mentally be in control of my voice and everything that goes along with it for all of the performances.

Basta cosi.

3pm

I'm called to the theater in 2.5 hours for our piano dress. Yep, first time in costumes. That should be interesting.

And what have I done so far today?
Well, actually, I woke up around 9am, hung out in bed online until 11:30, went to the gym for 35 minutes--but only managed to do 2 miles cuz my sides started cramping up- what is UP with that? I thought I had conquered it! And now I barely got through 25 min. on the treadmill having to switch between jogging and speed walking for the whole thing. Bummer.

Did the situps and pushups...came back to my room...aaaaaand since then- have been watching design shows on hgtv.
I THINK it's safe to say that I want my own house or my own place or something that I get to decorate and build...and not be told that I can't put that up on the wall because of the hole it will create for the next tenant. buzzkill again.

Oh yea- and have I eaten or had anything to drink?
Nope. Will rectify that situation now, although I'm running out of food and may need to make a run for MORE wraps, turkey slices, cheese, and cherry tomatoes, my staple foods in the mini-fridge for the last 2.5 weeks.

I can't believe we open this week. I mean, actually I CAN. In a GOOD way.
I am excited for my family, for my friends to come see me in this large-and-in-charge role. I know I will be nervous. There is no doubt. But hopefully getting to entertain the people close to me and do what I love will alleviate the probable butterflies once I'm out there and know how many people are excited to be there for me.

Fun times.

wandelprobe

Tonight was the first time we sang with orchestra. As opposed to a 'usual' wandel when you kind of go through the motions with few props, no changes, and no costumes, we were full on 'teching' at the same time...which was a bit confusing seeing as how we were mostly trying to find the sweet spots on stage and see if we could always catch the conductor's motions, and of course, get that flute cadenza to work! ha.

Anyway, it went well vocally. I never worry about cutting in an opera house...I just like to kind of get used to what I hear on the stage.
And in this hall- I can hear a bit of my own ring which is nice, in addition to a nice balance with the orchestra. I never feel like I have to push which is AMAZING. Much easier than singing at some more dead spaces.

So. Yay!
It wasn't much of an 'acting-heavy' day, although of course I still try to give as much as possible even with things thrown at me like- oh, first time doing that barefoot, oh, the downstage right tombstone was switched with the downstage left one, oh, this letter is not supposed to be sealed.
Just little curveballs that make me adjust and think on my feet and yes, sometimes distract.

Tomorrow- piano dress WITH costumes (omg finally)- this is going to be a hard show to navigate with floor length and body-hugging VINTAGE 30s dresses that I hope hope hope don't completely rip off of my body because they are so delicate.

Sunday- orchestra dress

And then it's almost time!

bye bye rehearsal room

Tonight we had the rehearsal for the designers and costumers, also known as the final room run.
I was feeling bla vocally due to the lingering crap in my throat, but pulled it together, warmed up, and gave it everything I had for the run.

Things to think about---
Regnava- This is the first piece, and as much as I want to ground myself, of course I know I'm going to get nervous. I have to remember the lowness, the grounding, and also mix that with the light youthful character I want to portray.

The Edgardo duet- When I get to verrano a te it's SUCH an exposed moment. Take my time, BREATHE, and make it seamless and calm.

The Enrico duet- The emotions feel SO good in this one. So heated. But I can't let it get to me. By the end of the duet I was like- OH- I'm LOUD and CRAZY and if I keep going I'm not going to have enough left for the mad scene.
But that was for like a split second and then I calmed down.

The sextet- all goes smoothly. I know what to accent, and it's actually very serene for me.

Aaaaand then the mad scene.

Find the arc. Live it. Don't think about what's coming up next or what passed. Be in the moment.
Concentrate on those 2 tag lines that are orchestra-less, and make sure the runs leading up to the next entrance are pitch perfect.

The flute cadenza- pacing through emotional content.
Watch the recap of verrano a te--that it doesn't get too 'white' sounding, although I'm trying to make it eery.

Spargi. Ok, yea, I'm tired. But it's still all there. If anything, with more energy. And it's almost over- so give it EVERYTHING.

Aaand that's about it!
I feel good. My voice feels fine (like, could I do this whole thing again at 2 pm tomorrow with the same energy? since I have to for our Saturday/Sunday matinee weekend?)
Yea!
It feels good. I can dooooo eeeeet.

I like it. Now if I could only wash the fake blood off of my arms, shoulders, and legs. That stuff ends up everywhere!!!

One week and 2 days til the show y'all.

newsflash

I was on the treadmill today-- walked for 5 minutes and then JOGGED until 3 miles at a pace of just under 11 minutes per mile.
That has not EVER happened.

No stopping, no heart palpitations, no side stitches.

I know, I know. It's not SUCH a big deal to people who actually know how to do this, enjoy doing it, and can do it WELL.

But I have always had problems running...and generally haven't liked it at all.
This wasn't SO bad.
30 minutes of my life that I didn't feel like I was panting for breath and wishing my sides wouldn't be curled up in pain...
and that's pretty ok.

Final room run tonight...
and a rehearsal for my mad scene costume which involves taking off a wedding dress while singing, and making sure the teensy weensy slip underneath it does not show what it's not supposed to show.

day off

It's a Monday and we have the day off.
Tomorrow- workthrough a few scenes in the afternoon, and then our final room run.

Let's leave that for a while and talk about the insane craptastic mucus that is currently sitting ON, right below, or right above my cords, and that I can neither swallow, cough out, or do anything about.

What is THAT about?

Allergies were horrid last week. Full blown congestion and cough...so I took an OTC antihistamine and also mucinex.

It's been one week. My nose is totally clear, I'm not coughing, but I have this sticky phlegm still stuck in my throat and if I sing on it, I'm straining and I know it.

Not acceptable.
I've been half marking half singing all week and I WANT to sing full out tomorrow, and I also want to wake up with none of this crap in my throat.

It's especially affecting the top, and in THIS case of the show, since we're doing the scenes a step up, it's making my regularly very easy G sound like a not-as-easy A or B.
Buzzzzzkill.

The F's are still easily there, but they also don't feel amazing.

Can you please give me my regular throat and voice back?
Thanks.

911

This is the 911th post, and it sure looks like this blog needs some emergency resuscitation.

WELL- the update.
Tonight is the first night since April 24th that I will not do my three miles on the elliptical or the treadmill. I've been super good (well, exercise-wise, not so much eating-wise...on the road and all), and I am giving myself a day off. So there.

The show is STAGED. And re-staged and tweaked and tightened...wow, sounds like some sort of machine that should be in the garage that you repair on weekends.

But anyway. It's good. And I mean- challenging, dramatic, so many things to think about good.

A few things:
Costumes are vintage 1930s. This means I shouldn't eat for the next three 15 days before opening so that those flowy lanky long, NON-A-Line dresses look good.
I have a LOT of costumes, including a wedding dress- which is funny because I was thinking to myself- maybe if it's really pretty...I can buy it for my self! But, no, it's period also- long sleeves, train, and all...so, not really my style.

More things to say about character the arc, the colleagues, but right now. It's my night off...from everything. Really tired and tomorrow is the first stumble-through/work-through..and so I will shut up, drink my water, have my mucinex (oh yea, my allergies are INSANE here and they have NEVER been bad before ever)...and hope that by tomorrow the high g will feel easy breezy and beautiful...not like I'm trying to drive a mac truck up my vocal cords.

madness

For some reason I'm not feeling very bloggy YET about the mad scene staging. It actually went really really well (we got to everything but the Spargi), and I am feeling inspired, with a lot of good choices that I get to make and to see how they take me in the arc of both that aria and the entire piece.

Maybe once the whole thing is staged I can do a line by line emotional/physical staging breakdown..for my own character exploration purposes.

But in the meantime, clocked 4 miles in on the treadmill today- and actually JOGGED 2 of them...well, ok it was only going at a 12 minute mile..but still...I speed-walked half a mile, jogged a mile, speed walked a bit more, and then did another mile, and then warmed down.

I am not ready to write about fitness goals here just yet, because truthfully, I'm not feeling or seeing anything different besides the fact that I can JOG 12 minutes without feeling like my chest is imploding in on me and I'm having a massive asthma and panic attack all rolled into one...

But what I would REALLY like is if I could keep this 30-40 minute a day thing going...and get 3 miles in daily plus my situps and pushups.
It's NOT a lot, but it's something. I think it's manageable, and I will try.
That is all for now.

yesterday

only got 3 miles in on the elliptical. 30 minutes.
but as we get more busy in rehearsals, and I have to have more time to absorb everything we are doing and really make an arc for the character, I MAY have less time.
But I still think 30 minutes is better than nothing.
Today I'm not called until 3.
It's 10 now. Will I get up and do everything I need to which includes:
Buying more food, finding a post office, working out, and reviewing my music for this afternoon?
Or will I stay in bed and read the NYtimes for the next hour?

hmm.....

cookies

Yes, I woke up at 7:30am today to get some elliptical and treadmill in (4.5 miles total), since rehearsal began at 10 and we have an event tonight.
But- I also ate three chocolate chip cookies that are being supplied daily by our hotel in the lobby.
Am I ruining the whole point of this working out thing? Or will this just mean I won't GAIN anything additional due to the cookie intake?

hmmmm.

keepin' on, and staging

Today- 30 minutes elliptical 30 minutes treadmill for another total of 5 miles. And I was less of a hater than usual.

Staging- going really well. I like doing things in order, and thank goodness that is what we are doing.
I feel like I'm already creating a really good arc for the character to develop inside of, and am being given the freedom to choose and create and explore and experiment. Most of the things that I'm naturally inclined to do, usually work, and then I can start adding detail and finesse.

After two days of not really being called until either the afternoon or the evening...I'm now starting the real 'work' 10am to 10pms.

And so- as this process unfolds, I'm still excited, 'good' nervous, and really hoping to shape something that will be a once-in-a-lifetime kind of opportunity and sing for me.

day three and sing-through

I did it AGAIN!
Yes, this is boring. I know I will need to change it up soon. But hey- an HOUR on the elliptical ain't half bad, right?
5 miles.

And again my girly pushups and 30 situps.
My question is...or, at least...my sense is- that eventually my body will get used to this, and there will be no more 'results'. Not that I'm seeing or feeling any right now.
But I do think my heart rate is increased most of the time, and I do generally feel good about being able to stay on that dang elliptical for one hour without cursing its existence.

I don't feel tired or overworked or anything afterwards. I KNOW I'm not pushing myself TOO hard. Then I'd just be useless for rehearsals.

And I'm not really in the mood to try JOGGING again since that always ends in some type of side stitch that never goes away plus partial asthma and general frustration that I can't run, don't like it, don't want to like it.

Oh yea- and the sing through last night went well!

day two...

Well, I unpacked my clothes and put them in drawers, and I went shopping. So now I have some food for my minifridge, toothpaste...what else?
Well...first rehearsal doesn't begin until 6, so there was nothing to do except for go to the elliptical machine again.
Another 60 minutes. 30 more situps, 10 more girly pushups, and stretching.

It's not the most fun thing...but, they have a tv attached to the machine, so- I could either be sitting in my room, online and watching tv (like now), OR I could be doing the same (minus the online although I DO have my iphone in case I get an email), and moving my butt at the same time.

So I voted for moving my butt.

First sing through is tonight. I hope I don't start falling asleep at 9pm! Jet lag is still kinda kicking me in the behind. I don't fall asleep early, but I can barely keep my eyes open from about 9 to 11.

Now, shower, lunch, and some warming up before tonight.

day one

An uneventful plane ride followed by checking into my hotel which will be my home for the next 29 days. I have a minifridge and a microwave. OH the possibilities of cooking here!
What did I do as soon as I walked into the room?
Obvs, check the internets to see if they were working.
And- THEY ARE!

On to the second task. Unpacking.
HA! Maybe tomorrow. Or next week. I can live out of a suitcase at the base of my bed for a while. Trust me.

But the THIRD task is the best so far.
ONE HOUR on the elliptical machine- 5 miles. While watching some home improvement show on hgtv.
Followed by stretching, followed by 30 sit ups, followed by TEN GIRLY PUSHUPS.

OMG. I know I can't say that it's going to start a revolution and happen every day. But...wouldn't it be nice if it did?
Oh, yea, and then 15 minutes in the jacuzzi. THAT was nice.

So now I'm in the room, post-shower, needing dinner but of course not in the mood to start pulling up google maps of the city and navigating how to get to either a food store or a restaurant.

It MIGHT be a room service and tv kind of night.
oh yea, it's only 8pm and I'm ready for sleep.
Jet lag.

the big apple for 24 hours

I made it!
The plane only shook semi-violently once to make me scared enough to begin the 'ok this is happening ... this is it' scenarios in my brain..and wondering whether the pilot knew how to make a water landing.

Yesterday was spent doing the regular "i'm back in America" dance- going through mail and making sure I didn't miss anything too important (no, I don't need to read the AGMA crappy backup health care insurance plan...I know it's crap and I could never use anything to my benefit, and yes, thank you health insurance for raising my monthly fee yet another 20 dollars a month, just as you did six months ago...you suck). Also, eating GOOD and I mean GOOD sushi. Twice. Also, repacking some of my clothes after seeing and REMEMBERING all the other clothes that I have here.
And now I'm in NYC, having my hair cut today- why here? Well, I guess I just don't feel comfortable telling the Germans how many CENTIMETERS I want cut off yet.

Have a voice lesson later today, a dinner with friends, staying with best friend from college, and all in all, enjoying 24 hours before 'work' begins.

Although OF COURSE, YES, work is fun. That's why I do it. Obvs.
So- more from my next destination and the beginning of rehearsals and all that jazz.

I found out where I'm staying there is a pool and a workout room (as most long-distance hotels have), and I have vowed that there will be NO excuse for me not to go down the one or two floors to those facilities..EVERY DAY.
So.
Maybe a 30 day type of project will begin. MAYBE.
I don't make promises online that I can't keep.

up up and away...

i hope today.

ashes, ashes, we all fall down...

Well, tomorrow at 8:30am I was SUPPOSED to leave for the US.
And of course because of the volcano and the ash and the insanity that has been the last 4 days at every major European airport, I am not leaving.
Right now I am scheduled for a Wednesday afternoon flight to NYC. AND a Friday morning flight.

It's a little annoying and also a little scary.
Annoying that I had booked the next 3 days in NYC with every appointment, lesson, coaching and 'to-do' that I had TO DO...and scary, because...
I mean, do I want to be among the first airplanes that try to fly over, under or through this micro-fiber glass that supposedly does damage to jet engines?

I don't want to be 30,000 feet in the air somewhere between London and Iceland and even THINK about that...although...knowing me, I know I will, and every little shake rattle and roll of the plane will freak me out.

Maybe I will take some tylenol PM with me even though it will be 1pm in the afternoon when I take off.

For now, I am packing. I don't have HALF of the things that I want to pack with me (those would be in storage, upstate, where I planned to arrive, unpack, repack, and go to the dentist and meet with the caterer and the musicians for the wedding...aaaand all that is canceled now)--but somehow I'm managing to fill my 'normal'- one carry on and one suitcase. This time though, I'm not taking the gigantor suitcase..just the normal sized checked-bag.

No presents, wine, fresh-pressed olive oil--nothing is coming with me...because I know that on my way back, yes, in six weeks, I will have QUITE a lot more to take with me. And maybe even PAY to check a second suitcase. I just need all of my 'things'- mostly clothes and shoes- in one place.


I am sitting here surrounded by mostly winter clothes, the weather outside is so gorgeous I can't imagine putting on a sweater again in a week, trying to figure out what I need for 6 weeks of rehearsals, possible donor-dinners, performances, casual and workout clothes.

Mostly I'm thinking- am I ready, and am I really going to GET there?
And if I CAN'T get there by the first day of rehearsal--- what happens? How long is the 'wait' period before it's too late and too long?
And really- how long can transatlantic flights be suspended?

even more muchiness

I had another audition on Thursday which was an 'information' audition. They see Koenigin on my list and say, sure, we always have time to hear a Koenigin. HA! Too bad I started with Zerb!!
Muwahahahah.
Actually, the accompanist was lovely this time, the theater was big and awesome, I think I sang really well, and ... who knows. I just like making good impressions.

For some reason, I almost think MORE about the 'information' auditions when I'm not necessarily singing for something specific...than some other auditions when I am singing for a specific role in a specific time period.

It's like- do they like me in general and will some magical opera magically fit into my schedule and will they magically remember that I rule?

Much more charm in the unknown I suppose.
Of course, still also waiting to hear about my two most recent international auditions in Southern France and on Tuesday.

For now, last weekend in FF.
Mixed feelings of excitement and ... of course... sadness to leave 'home'. But mostly excitement and 'oh crap I have to pack again'.

that was certainly....muchier

Vocally, my audition went great yesterday.
Although seemingly everything else was plotting to take me down.
First off, the pianist who had been informed of my repertoire previous to the audition, told me he wanted to use his own music for Zerbinetta.
Ok, fine, I get it. You make your own markings and page turns in a hard piece.
So. We start. It's SLOW. I"m thinking, ok, he just thinks the 'recit' part is slower. I"ll speed him up on the "eine kurtze nacht, ein hastiger tag"...but, no.
I speed up, he keeps plodding along.
DANG.
Ok.
2nd part- Noch glaub ich. SLOW.
I mean, I can DO it, I'm sounding DANG good, but still with the slow and the inflexible tempo! ok...
the ' so war' will be fast cuz I control it from the beginning.
So I start singing...and all of a sudden- NO PIANO?
HWAHT?

oh yea, he had been 'told' I'd only be singing the beginning. Um, WHAT?
but he'll be happy to play the rest from my folder.
AWKWARD!

ok, so after that little random PAUSA we keep going. It's still damn slow and I try to speed him up again. But..it's just a timid piano player who is clearly not comfortable in this music.
Sucks, because I"m singing really really well, and I'm singing for a CONDUCTOR who obviously knows that this should be faster.

ANd I'm thinking--does HE know that I know that it should be faster? Does he know I'm TRYING to make it faster and this guy isn't budging at all?
If I were a more 'famous diva' would I completely STOP and re-set the tempo?
Is it somehow MY fault that it's two clicks too slow, even though I can still sing it well, it's just not 'in character' for the piece to be that slow?

OK, second piece.
DurchZ.
He starts out SO SLOW again, that the conductor who is moving his arms from his seat, stops us, and wants to conduct the piece.
That's JUST FINE with me now that the pianist is going faster. And I sing it really really well again...
But again, I'm thinking- will I somehow be faulted for this? For not stopping and setting my tempo? For not "knowing" that it should BE faster, even though OBVIOUSLY it should be faster and I just can't GET him to MOVE faster!??!

All in all, frustrating, because the SINGING was so good and the pianist didn't 'screw up', but he also made it impossible to do anything about the tempo that HE set...making ME look like the screw up for not knowing musical 'style' or being able to take control of the situation.

I mean, in a 'normal' ie, sing for the AD audition situation, they would KNOW that the pianist was just...not cooperative...and would graciously accept what happened. Because, people know pianists in ny, mostly. And, if you get stuck with one that's not super super great, or had SAID that they knew your contemporary rep and then screwed it up, most AD's get that.
But here is a conductor who expects a performance from me. Yes, it was an audition, but also a performance.
And with no possibility of collaboration or even talking to the pianist before-hand...this is what he got. And that is frustrating to me and to him, I'm sure.

Bla.
The more I think about how well I sang, the more I'm annoyed that the whole situation happened in the first place. Because I know I'll be judged by it. And not by the vocal and dramatic production that I offered alone.

you were once muchier

I haven't sung an audition in quite a while, I think. Now they seem so- second nature to me...but I have 2 that are pretty important coming up this week, and so what I would like to regain is that 'muchiness' that I had in the audition seasons of 2007/8 when I was in New York City and auditions were the ONLY thing I was doing besides working 2 part time jobs and love love loving nyc.

I mean, it was nothing. Waking up. Getting ready. Getting warmed up. Getting dressed. Already being warmed up from the 2 auditions and coaching that I had the day before most likely, really just being IN music and IN auditions all the time.
It was smooth and 'normal'.
And now since I have been 'living', and preparing a role, I've had fewer auditions..and especially have not been in the crazy new york young artist audition scene.

But I want that muchiness back. That feeling that yet again, I will rock aria number one, and whatever they choose for aria number 2, I will have sung it a zillion times, love it, and could have just as easily picked it as my starter.

This week I get to begin with Zerb. (I think). The WHOLE thing. Awesome.
And that already puts me in a good mood.
And whether it's followed by Koenigin or Olympia-- I will BRING it.
The MUCHINESS.

another good one

I warmed up for about 20 minutes yesterday, sang through some audition rep that I HAVEN"T been asked for in a while! (Rosina, Fee) just cuz...and then proceeded to sing all of Lucia.

And felt SO good at the end.
Yes, my speaking voice couldn't go quite as low. But it didn't affect my singing voice. I didn't feel tired, and in fact, I could have kept on singing.

I'm confident that the 'double header' I have ahead of me- Saturday night/Sunday matinee - will be great.
And that is a good feeling.

Not much to report these days except that I'm still trying to do the biking/bikram combination to feel healthy and ready physically for the dramatic and vocal tasks ahead.

I'm sure I'll have a lot more to say once I'm actually in rehearsals at the end of the month, but for now, enjoying my last 2 weeks here, have 2 upcoming auditions that I am preparing for, have a fun weekend planned, and will eventually start thinking about packing up my life again for 5 and a half weeks.

practice makes...

Good day today.
Warmed up well this afternoon and then went through Zerbinetta--which felt lovely.
Haven't had as much time as I'd like this week to practice, but really. After tomorrow. It begins.

For realz.

But anyway, I feel prepared and excited and it's all good.
Can you tell I've had a good day?
!

excited

Yesterday I had a skype chat with upcoming-director about upcoming-opera and I really really really am excited by the possibilities of shaping this character in the opera.
Lie, REALLY excited.
The mad scene is going to to be COOL and unexpected and gory and everything that it should be.
And the sets look cool.
I'm not really pro a 'running around stage acting crazy waiving a knife' Lucia, and when I found out that he isn't either--I rejoiced..greatly.

It's going to be really psychological. Every aspect of what moves and motivates me will almost be a flashback, or my own reality...and I really like that.

i need swine flu again

D'oh!
I'm up 2 kilos since 'swine-flu' weight.

Damn this land of chocolates, pastries, and cakes galore.

Today I took a 15k bike ride through the 'back woods' here--but my exercise calorie burner counter thingie says that because it was a 'leisurely' pace, I burned less than 200 calories on that ride.

D'oh squared!

Now I'm going to bikram later today.
Maybe will try to go all week.

But it's so easy to see what is happening.
I'm not STRESSED - consciously, but apparently I am, subconsciously.

That means- I eat whatever is around, especially chocolate. And why?
Well I suppose there could be a number of reasons.
First off, leaving here in 16 days.
BUT that is actually also really EXCITING because it means I'll soon be in rehearsals for Lucia.
But that actually means that I'm probably stressed because I haven't REALLLLLY memorized the uncut version of L/Raimondo duet (yes, I know, it's like FOUR recitative interjections and a page of music...I KNOW).
So there is happy for upcoming work mixed with a little sad for leaving mixed with still annoyed that upcomingopera2 is canceled mixed with what the HECK do I do for three months when I get back here mixed with what the HECK am I doing from now UNTIL I leave in 16 days and why does it NOT involve more practicing, exercising, and NOT eating like shit.

There ya go!
It's all out in the open.

But basically I need a really good case of food poisoning or swine flu, or, OK OK I suppose I could move my butt a bit.

Off to 'pack' for yoga.
It's 50 minutes away and requires 2 outfits, 2 towels, a huge bottle of water, a bag to put my extremely WET clothing in after I sweat for 90 minutes, and of course, yoga mat.

projects

YES! I LOVE side projects.
And a friend of mine has started a super cool one!
That I will be contributing to.
No more information can be divulged at this time.

ALSO- I really need to practice. Daily. Not just when I am moved to 'go through it all'.
As in, I told myself that I would have all of March and April to do it, and now- I just have April.
I have to sing, like, NOW ish...and yet, for some reason, I have been on my COMPUTER for the past three hours.

That has to stop.
Time for breakfast (at 1pm).
And then practicing. For real.

the downturn finally also hits home

Yesterday I found out that upcoming-show2, which was supposed to be sung in 2009 but postponed due to budgetary reasons, which was then changed to a 'concert' performance, is now, officially, cancelled.

First off, yes that is a major bummer.
The role is SUPER fun, I was excited to sing it again, and it was something that I was really looking forward to in terms of location, weather, family, and friends that would get to see the show- and singing with a new company.

But second off, and to look at the bigger picture, the economy is still suffering and the arts are especially in trouble.
If the MET has to rely on anonymous donations of 30 million dollars to help boost their budget and future plans, how can a small regional company with loyal audiences but not nearly the budget of this other big company even compete?

My first reaction was of course disappointment.
My second reaction was- what's next.
What can I substitute in the three to four weeks that will take the place of this previous schedule...and can it be musical?

There are one or two festivals that I had been in touch with previously..small European things in the woods, you know, on some mountain top resort...that were doing Die Zauberfloete for the summer. Maybe add a few performances of Koenigin from current-production- which has already been notified that I will be away until the end of June.

I actually remember my audition for this show quite well.
The place: NOLA
The scene: a crowded mess of singers - but at least the weather was ok that day.
The circumstances- everyone that walked in the door was singing the same french aria, FROM the show. So- how to make mine different?
Why- add a high G into the first cadenza, of course! Which I did...which made the director look up and smile...which made the rest of my day.
I remember walking out of there knowing that I did something different and good. With no expectations other than that. I just was happy with the performance, and had fun--since it was my 'starter' aria anyway that year, and I was really enjoying myself at the audition.

Now, this entry is not to complain at all. After all, one of my colleagues had about FOUR to FIVE shows cancelled on her in the past 2 years that I know of-- and she just made her Met debut. So.
Patience, good thoughts, and hopefully something positive will come from all of this eventually.

the whole she-bang

On Thursday I 'sang sang' (yes, this is a word in my vocabulary) through it all. All of Lucia. Opened cuts. Finales with chorus, everything that I will have to sing in approximately 2 months. It felt- GOOD. Actually, really good. What I DID notice was that after that whole thing, you know, trying to be dramatic and all with my singing, even though I was practicing in front of a mirror in my living room and checking my pitch every once in a while with my electric piano, I was vocally- in my speaking voice, not able to speak in the low range without some kind of vocal fry-esque kind of sounds coming out. Singing, I could have kept going and sung all of the rest of my audition repertoire if I wanted to.
Weird, right?
What I THINK that means is that singing Lucia for three hours and then attempting to have dinner conversation might not be the best of ideas.
When I have to do this in 2 months, I have a Saturday/Sunday combination for the performances.
It's not scary or horrible..it's just something I have to really really think about.
Saving up my actual speaking voice on Saturday (sorry family who is flying in to visit me)..., singing the crap out of it Saturday night, shutting UP immediately, and waking up the next day for the Sunday matinee.

Eventually, before I leave in a few weeks, I want to be practicing this every day. To make sure my voice is used to singing the whole thing one day after the other. Something like- sing it all Monday, sing it all Wednesday, and then Thursday.
Then relax until Sunday or something with some slight warm-ups in between.

Hopefully that will happen.
I also now have 20 days to eat a bit healthier and see if I can shed a kilo or two before the dreaded second to last wedding dress fitting. Wow, has chocolate gotten the better of me here this time around. Oh yea, and croissants and pain au chocolats in France. D'OH!

Ok, ok, well it's passover anyway, so that at least means I can't eat bread for a week! Maybe that will do the trick alone!

Back to waiting for my Matzoh balls to cook.

so much to post, so little time

OK! I'm BACK. HOME.
That means- full internet access and my mac.
Time to start the postage.

So- my audition in London/One and a half day on-the-town excursion:
Arrived in London Wed. night, took forever to take the Tube(s) to my lovely host's home.
Now THIS is cool- one of the couples that is a sponsor of the opera, also sponsor singers in town when there are auditions...so, voila- no hotel to pay for, PLUS they had a grand piano to warm up with PLUS they had tea with milk waiting for me when I arrived at 10:30pm.
Thursday- Walk around London and see EVERYTHING. I mean, we even went to Parliament and saw the House of Lords AND Commons in full swing from the spectator ie, nosebleed seats.
Audition- early in the morning (10:30) for Koenigin, but I was feeling good in the a.m., and brought everything I had.
So the panel got it all- the F's, the low, the middle, the high, the dramatic, and..whatever else.

BACK to Germany, where I had Koenigin number..9 I think... Saturday night- which ALSO went great, since I had just 'warmed up' with it the day before.

Sunday- fly to Nice in the afternoon, check in to my hotel, wander around town in the evening (also get accosted by a not-so-fun guy that kept following me and trying to speak Italian, French, and English to me when CLEARLY I was not interested, ignoring him, and trying to find a place to have dinner)...Sooo--that actually wasn't so fun.
PS- if you want to buy real estate by the sea- NICE! Every other building has at least a studio, 2 or 3 bedroom for sale. Is the economy REALLY that bad that people are selling their vacation homes because they can't RENT them out either?
Wow.

Monday- audition in Monte Carlo. Sang Queen and Fire. Immediate feedback was that I have great french (to which I replied, IN french that I studied the language for 6 years--BONUS!).

Spent the day in Monte Carlo (where a small bowl of pasta costs 18 Euros. Ouch).
Back to Nice and to my hotel in the evening.
Tuesday morning- my flight back was at 2, but it was a BEAUTIFUL sunny day, so I spent the morning having tea and a croissant by the water, and then dipped my toes in the mediterranean and sat on the rock-beach for about an hour for the FIRST time in the SUN since...well last summer/fall--beautiful, warm, and I didn't want to leave.

Then, due to a FRENCH TRANSIT STRIKE, I couldn't take the 4 Euro bus to the airport. So I had to take a 30 Euro taxi there.
Amazing.

Had plenty of time at the airport to browse the duty free, and in the end, the plane was half-empty on the way back so I got to sprawl in my own three seater row for the hour long flight.

It's unbelievable how many destinations one can reach in SUCH a short time across Europe.
Ok, even with fast trains- I can get to berlin in 4-5 hours...but I was in another COUNTRY...and that only took an hour.

It was really fun.

The feedback? So far- I've heard about the Queen- they're going in a different direction--which always makes me laugh-- umm, someone that DOESN"T hit all the high F's?
lolsss.
No, in reality I know that I do NOT sound like a dramatic soprano when I sing this piece. I sound steel-y and evil, but not like some Russian full lyric WITH magical high F's..
So if they're going in another direction, I'm guessing it's a more dramatic voice.

So I'll wait on the second audition and see.

Either way, London was definitely worth the mini-vacation (especially since my flight and stay was paid for by the company), and we shall see about my visit to Southern France and how that turns out (sadly, for this one the expenses did add up, but--it's SOUTHERN FRANCE!!).

planes, trains, and not so many automobiles

I'm back for ONE night between London audition and Southern France audition.
Sang a Koenigin tonight that went really well. It COULD be my last one of the season- unless they add more shows- like they did for these past few months.
So, if it's the last one, I went out with a bang. If not, I still have the opportunity to rock it once again..maybe in a few months.

I am a bit physically tired from the planes and trains and connections and passport control (the UK almost didn't let me in), but not at all vocally. I know that when I come back home on Tuesday I'll feel exhausted, but right now I am full of energy, and excited for the next audition.
And the next and next one--in April.
And of course upcoming-opera--which I still have to review and memorize some standard cuts that we are opening.

Otherwise, feeling generally busy, generally good, and generally happy.

I see London, I see France..

Tonight I'm flying to London.
Friday morning audition.
Saturday I have a Queen performance in Heidelberg.
Sunday I leave for Southern France for an audition on Monday.
Return home Tuesday at 4pm.

Seems crazy, but besides the travel taking up between 2-3 days, it's actually not SO busy.
I mean, it's just 2 auditions and a show.
That happen to be in three different countries.

Let the fun begin.

Koenigin number...7 maybe?

Sunday not-really-matinee performance of Flute yesterday. It started just one hour earlier than the evening shows, so it didn't FEEL like a matinee although...it sure was Sunday and I sure did want to sleep in!
I stayed under the blankets for as long as possible and then made the mad dash to the tram, the train station, the train, and the theater. Which I'm called to Extremely early because I am the first hair and makeup call- 1:40 before the show.
So I have SO SO much time to warm up, sit around, eat a sandwich for dinner...
and really, after I warm up for about 30 minutes...there's not much to do but sit around and wait for the show.

I realized last night just HOW unproductive I am during a show. And this happens to me in almost every show I"m in. NOT during rehearsals or during the day of course. But once I'm at the theater, I cannot concentrate on ANYTHING else but the show.
Not even a magazine. Not sudoku. Not other music in my ipod. Not another score.
MAYBE one or two text messages.
But everyone around me seemed to have things to do--whether it was write in their schedules for next week, look at some other music they needed to learn, read a magazine, or do a book of sudoku.
Me- nothing. Sit there. Listen to the music. Think about my upcoming music.

Even if I had another score there I don't think I'd be able to do much.
What I CAN do is translate and highlight. But actually learning other things during an opera? I guess not.

And Koenigin is the WORST in terms of roles like this!!
Get dressed, show opens, sing 15 minutes into the show. Wait, Wait, ActI done, WAIT, intermission, OK second aria...WAIT WAIT WAIT -quintet/die.
Wait.
Bow.

I mean, just THINK of the possibilities if I COULD do things! Study the language? Memorize other piece? Get my audition binder back in shape?
ANYTHING?!
But no, that is- so far- not for me.
Maybe when I have 6 new roles to learn, 2 bit parts, and 4 roles to keep in repertory like the 2nd lady who is a Fest Mezzo and just found out her assignments for next year and this summer--maybe then I'll be doing a bit more than highlighting in the Garderobe.

But for now- Nix.

things to think about

I'm happy, healthy (although could stand to get a bit more buff before next-opera and upcoming-wedding!), and in love.

Yes, there are little things every day that I could think about. Little details of things that could make me 'want it' more--meaning, the career. Make me more proactive. Make me PRACTICE more perhaps. Make me google more, email more, and just do more, more, more, to try and get somewhere.

But WHERE is that somewhere?
For the count, the number of operas I am singing in between January 2010 and December 2010 is 4. The number of operas I am singing in just in the first 4 months of 2011: 3. And that ain't half bad.
The number of companies that I am actively waiting to hear from regarding possible jobs in the future- at least 3.
There are no financial worries (except how to pay for above-mentioned wedding(s)- and no, I'm not getting married to more than one person, just getting married MORE than once ....somewhere between 3 and 4 times in the next months at the moment).

I get to travel. I get to see my family. I get to spend time with friends.
And that ain't half bad.

Should I be wishing and wanting to sing at 'a certain place' at 'a certain time'?
Should I just take life as it comes?

I know I've written a LOT about this recently. Maybe it's because I have free time here. Maybe it's because all of this free time as a singer, that can't necessarily be dedicated to practicing all the time and always doing opera-opera-opera all the time--gives me a chance to go in two very different directions- the 'freak out opera career mode' and the 'totally thankful for what i have and let the good times roll mode'.
I know there is somewhere in the middle, and that's where I usually end up.

So- today I'm on the thankful side of the spectrum. At least--before 2pm.
After my bike ride and practice session I may be in full career-emailing-google-ninja mode.

upcoming

Just a list:
Coaching this Friday, Koenigin this Sunday, LONDON next Wednesday through Friday (audition Friday), and generally feeling fine...although wishing that I would hear from some agents about auditions on this side of the pond for the 'next-next' season.

In the meantime, hanging out here in the freezing cold and wishing that it FELT a little more like spring than it LOOKS like (it's sunny and beautiful outside, but zero degrees).

QOTN#7 or so....

Last night I had a performance of Zauberfloete- after about 3 months off!
Oh, German repertory rotation system, how I love thee.
I was not nervous about the singing at all...BUT I had to make sure that I went over the text to the dialogue AND scenes in my head before each entrance!
I mean, three months off and something is bound to trip you up.
We also had a new conductor last night (an asst. conductor), but even with the heightened 'newness' of it all, the show was really great.
There was about one and a half seconds where the blinding lights mixed with new conducting pattern threw me off--during the first aria. But I quickly made up for being a milisecond behind for that 1.5 seconds by nailing the rest of it, and delivering what I think was one of my best Der Hoelle Rache's yet.
So I'm happy with the performance- added bonus- Intendant was there, and he remembered the nice note I wrote to him at the end of 2009 to thank him for the opportunity to sing there, and also, our director is up for some kind of award for this K.razy 'konzept' staging, so some reporters were there to take little video clips and see what it was all about.

Weekend of relaxation ahead.

notes

Notes from coachings 2 and 3:
Get away from the rhythm that is marked. Especially in the recits.
Give the conductor the clear upbeat, but other than that- say the WORDS not the rhythm.
Use the coperto (covered) 'oh' to start the phrases that sit in the upper passagio, then bloom on them.
Make the regnava scary and not pretty- vocally.
Feel the tension of the chromatic slides in between verse A/B.

Yesterday working with a new coach, I got that 'yea, i can totally DO this' feeling--which, hadn't really gotten very much. Everyone is so quick to say- Oh, Lucia, yea- lyric voice but has to have the great high note extension. Oh yea, full lyric. Yes, warm sound, etc.
But yesterday there was NO mention of the 'other' voices that "should" be singing this role.
It was - yes, beautiful. Yes, nicely shaped. Yes, yes, yes.

It's not that I need to hear only positive things. But when you swim in a sea of 'lucias are lyrics' and feel like you have to 'justify' the fact that you CAN sing this stuff, it's refreshing to hear someone that has zero problem with me and my voice singing it.

i'm so over it !

Blues are gone...
I had an amazing weekend.
First, a classical piano concert in Mainz. Then an all night dance party in Frankfurt.
Saturday- meeting new friends and playing with their cute kids, followed by a movie in English (Sherlock Holmes) which wasn't HALF as bad as I thought it would be, Vietnamese food for dinner, drinks and the rest of the evening at a cool rooftop bar, and SUNDAY- Lucia at FF Opera.

Not Bad At All!

This week- 2 coachings, meeting with a real estate agent, getting documents translated and attempting to get approved at all the right German offices that I need approval from, and maybe a foray into some Bikram yoga.

This weekend- Koenigin, family, and more family.

calming the crazies

Exactly one month and one week ago, I wrote how unbelievably happy and lucky I am to be having the kind of career that I want to be having--which is, ANY kind of career at all--where I get paid to do what I love, and I don't have to do anything else to support myself.

And then a long came google.
Oh google, why do you ruin my life sometimes?

Why is it SO SO SO easy to look up one thing, go on a little ninja hunt, and find that a colleague that I consider to be on par with me career wise, although a bit older than me, just got three amazing gigs. One of which I also auditioned for.
And why does that send me into a spiral of 'crazy'?
When there really is NOT so much that I can do about it?

Sure, I can google where she will be next year, how I THINK she got the gigs (because, truthfully, these days it just seems pointless to assume it's because of one audition and luck)--it's about politics, connections, agent connections, and so much more....and that's a bummer.

I can also google MYSELF and see that actually, although these three things that she is going are pretty dang awesome-- I also have a totally awesome schedule coming up complete with a premiere in a new european country, singing with one of the best orchestras in the US, and doing a role I love and a role that's brand new in my repertoire--and yes, actually it's MORE THINGS...BUT- it's not THE things the she has.

Which sends me on even more google-rific searches to find out what EVERY opera house is doing from now until 2012 and how I can figure out how to get in touch with them, whether I have sung for them before, whether anyone I KNOW sings with them, etc. etc. you get the point.

So it's this moment of very deep sadness mixed with- yes, honestly- anger and jealousy...that IMMEDIATELY turns into me needing to be proactive about the REST OF MY CAREER FOR EVER.

That proactivity turned into sending quite a few messages to my German colleagues asking them about certain etiquette for contacting smaller houses on one's own, or if a house has already heard you, how to approach them again saying "hey, wazup, remember me peeps?" (but, a little more formal, I guess)...
And it turned into some reassuring responses, a possible contact, and one VERY important thought that was emailed to me by a 'forum friend'--we don't even know each other in real life, but we know enough from facebook and friends that we can be considered 'close' in the singer-singer world...
who said:

"Yes, it's easy to freak out, but in the end, you can only do what YOU can do and not worry too much about the others.
I hate the business side. And I also hate how it's so little about the actual art we do but about agents and connections.
Such is life. But at least you have someone who will be at your side through the good and the bad times!"

And that last line could NOT ring truer.
It's not even a "BAD" time- I just had a bad night upon discovery of this information and following mini-freakout about 'the career'.

One year ago today I met (at a train station in Frankfurt) my now-future-....can I say it online....husband!
And so I think I have better things to think about and be happy about than feeling like somehow some doors closed and opportunities were missed in the US while I was over here having the time of my life this past year.

coaching1

Lucia coaching this afternoon.
After an hour and a half, we got through Regnava and half of the first duet.
That's actually the type of work I LOVE to do- completely detailed, not letting anything slide, do it AGAIN until- YES, that was it.

It's SUCH an added bonus to be coaching with a native Italian, AND a coach who is also a conductor. NO detail gets by- have I mentioned that?
Hahah.

Things I have to think about:
1. Rhythm is marked for a REASON, but that does not mean that I have to be rhythMIC about my singing. Take the time to make a LINE, to make a PHRASE, and to make only what is important stand out- NOT every rhythm perfect.

2. The 'big girl' voice. OK. I have written about this before and I will write about this again.
I can kind of adapt my voice to whatever 'sound' people like/want. What comes 'naturally' out of me? I actually don't really know. I feel like it's different in different styles of repertoire.
I DO know when I feel that I am 'on', with the breath, with this column of air that sweeps me into the high and dips me into the low. BUT- I don't know whether that is the big girl voice or something perhaps younger-SOUNDING, not less supported, but for some reason, more pointed, precise, and therefore..small.

The round big(ger) thing most of the time feels sloppy to me--but I am repeatedly told that it is most certainly NOT sloppy, and that it makes my voice bloom, and sound so much bigger and rounder and bla bla bla etc.

HOWEVER the round big thing also comes with a catch- IF I can't keep it supported all the time, and re-energized all the time, pitch suffers in the high passaggio. Not D,E, but F,G. And for a role that sits on those notes CONSTANTLY in the duets, it is certainly going to be my challenge for the next 2 months to figure out HOW to get this how I want it.

Can I do 'the voice' that 'they like' in ALL of the role? Can I save energy, air, and concentration by doing it the way 'it comes out' (which...may not be "that" sound that they want all the time...but still comes out, cuts, carries, and is ON pitch?) in shorter non-solo sections and just try and really mold the arias into ALL that they CAN be with this rounder sound?

Well--these are all certainly things that I can try to work on. But at the end of the day, I want to sing on pitch, carry over the orchestra, and most importantly, BE this Character dramatically.
Vocally, I am what I am. And I am NOT a lyric soprano singing Lucia. I got that. We all got that.
It's not a STRETCH but it's also certainly not 'common casting practice' right now.

I will use my voice the best way that it comes out on stage, nerves, drama, excitement and all-- and will bring my best and most crazy to it all.

Coaching number 2 and 3 next week.

here comes the sun

It's getting NOT wintery out there and I love it!
It's almost 5 pm, STILL sunny (ie, not dark and gray and freezing), and...and...that's lovely.

Meanwhile, what have I done today?
Let me put it THIS way--if there was ONE week where I should be allowed to stay in bed, eat chocolate, and attempt to drown out the general feeling of 'ugh' and 'lethargy' due to my body...this is it.
And so- I have done Juuuuust about...nothing.

I WANT to practice.
But I know it will sound like shit.
So I'm not going to attempt to warm up, and then sing LUCIA knowing that I will hate how it sounds because I can't find my center, have had a mild headache for the past 3 days, have eaten all the chocolate in the apartment one day and haven't had an appetite for anything the next (that would be today...I had to force down some cereal around 4).

Ah yes, once again let's all sing it together....
I enjoy being a girl...



And it's true- I AM going out tonight and yes, eventually WILL doll myself all up...
but for now, some more water and advil.

still here...

Really, I promise. There will be some substance soon.
It's just that running around the city at 7:30am to try and get the state office of marriage bureaus to believe you that it's impossible to get a birth certificate of an American citizen that was NOT issued in the US notarized and stamped IN the US except for in Washington DC where they STILL cause problems is a bit taxing!

day...ooops

I haven't done yoga since day 3.
Don't judge.

Was in Berlin this weekend.
Promise to update about real things soon, but for now, have to jump around the apt. because we turned the heat down really really low before we left and now it's freeeeezing here.

This week:
Coaching (s) with 2 new coaches.

day 2

I practiced yoga yesterday. And today.
And since I haven't done yoga for SO long (taking classes regularly in 06-07, then some random ones from my gym in '08), I was TOTALLY off balance... I mean the easiest poses that I used to hang out in...I was shaking, wobbling, had no center.
What does that mean?
I have to keep going to regain that center!

The breathing and flexibility, yes, that I have. But the CORE. That's the thing that I always just shimmied around. In workouts, in yoga, in breathing-for-singing...I never really strengthened it--mostly because sit-ups suck and kind of hurt my neck, as did the whole pilates movement...too much straining the neck which took a toll on being relaxed for singing.

But you have to find what works best for you.
For me it's NOT a hardcore ab workout--but it's working out that core through other things. Either sports that don't focus on just core, but end up working out everything anyway, or-- yoga.
Where I feel something is being worked on, but it's a relaxed and focused way.

I actually looked up a Bikram center here, but seeing as how I was so unbalanced, I don't think that practicing in an over-100-degree room is a good idea just yet.
Although I was kind of excited for all that sweating and loss of water weight.

I'll give this 2 weeks and then see how I feel.

HOME

I'm baaaaaaack!

Things on the agenda:
Lucia coachings and practice
3 more performances of Queen

unpacking and sleeping in my OWN bed!

wait, what?

Did I just sing the biggest audition in my life so far exactly 12 hours ago?
YEP!

Ok, here's how the whole day went.
Gotta remember the little details so I can do it again, right?

around 9 ish, woke up, but stayed in bed.
11- ate a banana and drank a lot of water--started to hydrate.
11:30- MASSAGE! This was the BEST Idea I've had in about 8 years since my last "paid for" massage (I'm more a chiropractor kinda gal)...but I knew I was tense, and I wanted something that would both release the stress AND energize me for later that day.
One hour later...I was feeling GOOD.

12:30-3ish, LIGHTLY warm up in the apt., ate suuuuushi (which I SO SO SO SO will miss the GOOD and CHEAP quality of when I'm back in Dland on Monday)
3-HOT shower with lip trills
3:30-5ish get all my stuff ready, put normal clothes on, pack my audition clothes, audition binder, a bit of food. Oh yea, I ate another banana. I'm NOT joking people- this audition had me NER.VOUS and SOMEONE SOMEWHERE said that bananas are a natural beta blocker. So I'm going with it. Whatever.

5- after makeup is done and hair is dry, head out to pay for a practice room in Merkin---except, Merkin closes at 4! My bad.
head to the public library to change in their bathroom (classy, I know).
Change, need to waste some time at the public library, since I'm going right next door in 20 minutes.
6- arrive backstage.
6:05 get taken to a warm-up room. Change from snow boots to high heels.

Start warming up again. Sing through the pieces once but not full force. Take a break. Keep lip trilling.
6:30-6:40- decide to calm myself down even more by singing-- (gasp) JAZZ music! Yep- all of my favorites that calm ME down, that I sing when I want to calm OTHERS down (or just sing them to sleep)...and...singing in that natural, I don't care what comes out voice right now--put me in the BEST mood.

Mostly because it got my mind off of where I was about to sing next.
And focused it on the love of my life :)

6:42 accompanist arrives and we go through piece 1 very quickly- singing most, but not all. We start piece 2 and then it's TIME TO GO TO STAGE!

Ok, I held a halls cough drop that I had kinda been sucking on the whole night in between my fingers on stage. I didn't need it...but for some reason, I just kept it in between my thumb and forefinger...I'm ASSUMING no one from that house saw that! haha...

First piece- YEA! Felt good, didn't get tight, I'm like- DUDE this house is awesome to sing in!
Second piece- AS good as it was going to be WITH nerves. I mean, it's STRAIGHT TONE for the whole thing, and I think I vibrated on like 4 notes or so. I vote for- YES.
Third piece- All I'm thinking is--DAMN I just got through the 2nd piece! The rest of this is a piece of CAKE!
Fourth piece- YES, final cadenza and final high E- YES!

And all I can think is-- did I just audition on the Met stage?

YES!

one down, one to go

Ok, well today got off to a good start.
First of all, shockingly- I got to bed EARLY ! Ok, for me early is before midnight, but still.
I woke up for a bit around 5am, was wide awake around 9, and relaxed and took my time getting ready for everything today.

I felt a bit less tense than yesterday, and for the audition today I sang zerb and crazy1/crazy2. Actually, this company isn't doing crazy-opera, but they ARE doing modern stuff next year, so I thought- why not- I'll offer this stuff and if they pick it, it will be good practice for the NEXT day.

And sure enough, after Zerb which I thought went well...they picked both crazy pieces.
The first one went smashingly as always. The second one--the ONLY thing that can kind of trip me up if my breathing gets away from me--- STILL went well.
And yes, I was nervous. And Yes, my heart was beating a bit faster. And yes, it was a 'room' audition so it was bright, I could see the people's faces..it wasn't on some big cavernous stage-- BUT. I feel like I did it well.

I am still trying to channel as many 'kick butt' vibes as I can for tomorrow at 6:50pm, and the "I know I can do it, I've done it before, this is just like in practice/rehearsal" mantras--etc.

Yes, I'll be more nervous. But I have the best support system behind me..wanting me to do well, and wishing that I could come HOME!!!

hmmmm

Had a short coaching today with a new pianist for upcoming audition.
There is always that 'adjustment' time. I'm used to doing this with someone else. Period. No one will be the same.
And I can't let that throw me off of my game.
I don't feel as 'supported' because this new person doesn't know me, isn't invested in my success necessarily, and just- doesn't play it 'like I'm used to'.

That psyched me out a little at the coaching today. I could feel myself getting a bit-- well, upset isn't the word- but vocally emotional I would say- to the point where my larynx was trying to shove itself into my eyeballs.

Can I still sing when that happens? Yes. Does it feel good? No. Does it sound the BEST BEST BEST that it could sound? No. Is it still accurate?
Yes.

But.

There is that but that's just NOT the same.
I have two days to mentally and emotionally prepare for doing this large audition with a partner different that who I am used to.
And I have to deal with that.
It's nothing musical, it's mental.

I have to make myself feel like I'm not being 'tested' by this new person who is supposed to be my support.

I have to make myself believe that it doesn't matter what notes are happening under me- what is most important is each and every single note that is coming out of my mouth.

I am going to write positive things and make them happen.
I'm going to concentrate on what I'm doing. I'm going to LOVE each and every opportunity that I get to do this. I'm going to remember how many times I've practiced this in the shower, in my bedroom, in the practice room, and under my breath standing at a deserted tram stop. This is EASY for me. I remember singing it into a mirror on the bathroom wall and just smiling because it's fun and awesome and cool.
I want THAT feeling on Friday.
The feeling of 'knowing' how fun it is, how easy it is, how- I'm not doing this to impress anyone, I'm just doing it, because I can do it.

Edited to add possible new mantras:

Number One:



Number Two:

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darnit, people like me...

Number Three:

Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it! What have you done, Derek? You've done nothing! NOTHIIIING! And I will be a monkey's uncle if I let you ruin this for me, because if you can't get the job done, then I will!


hahaha. Automatically cheered myself up.

snow day

It's snowing and beautiful and I have to watch it all from INSIDE because--I can't get sick!!!
Audition Thursday and audition Friday.
Must protect La Voce.
That sounds so 'singer', but really--if I'm outside, if my feet get cold and wet (since I don't have snow boots, if I get a chill, if ANYTHING happens, it would affect my performance for those 2 days.

Today- I have to go out twice.
Once mid-day (2 avenues and 4 blocks away), once at 6pm (2 avenues and 6 blocks) and I THINK that will be ok!

Thinking about pretty-important-audition-Friday...
I'm actually really excited for it!

Think positive :)

winter wonderland take 2?

I've been lucky enough to miss much of the brunt of bad weather this winter.
Mostly because previous-gig from Jan5 to yesterday was in a city that has perfect winter weather--well, anything besides really cold and really snowy is perfect.

But besides winter-airplane-fiasco-2009 right before Xmas week, I haven't had THAT much bad weather get in the way of 'things I need to do'.

Except for the forecast for NYC in two days.

Yes, Wednesday is the day that I wanted to drive into NYC.
I wanted to pack and repack all of tomorrow- which mostly means, going to Target to find things that are cheaper in the US than in Germany, figure out how to pack them into my suitcases, try again, and CONQUER the 50 pound weight limit while still managing to fit in two pairs of cowboy boots, another peacoat that has been in the closet for a year, shoes, shoes, and more shoes..>AND all of the stuff I came with January 5th.
(Yes, I realize that I may be paying 45 dollars to check a SECOND bag).

Well, Wednesday weather forecast, you do NOT look good.
And that's not cool!
I'm supposed to have a wedding dress fitting!
I'm supposed to get my hair 'did!
I'm supposed to do some dry cleaning!
I'm supposed to get all my nyc appointments/buy out over the counter meds (mostly mucinex)/get the requested items for German that want things from abroad/things that I need to do before going 'home' things DONE!!!

And your snow prediction of at LEAST six inches is SO NOT COOL RIGHT NOW!

AHHH!
I will be super rushed, but I think I'll have to leave for the city tomorrow and beat this supposed bad weather.

I sure will miss the trip to Target to get things I probably 'don't need but figure that it can't hurt to have since they'd be way more expensive if one day I decided I DID need them in Deutschland.'

bye bye!

Last show this afternoon went wonderfully, followed by a cast party, followed by the superbowl, followed by...oh wait, it's right now. I SHOULD be packing and making sure/praying that my suitcase doesn't weigh more than 50 pounds. Instead I'm watching a rerun of law and order.

I feel really good about this production and how all of the shows went. I am SO happy and lucky to already know that I've made a good enough impression to be asked back for a future engagement, and in ADDITION, the 'powers that be' are also planning on being at a future-performance of mine to assess whether they will rent a certain production, and so- again, a chance for them to see me kick some tail and perhaps be under consideration for even more things!

What I need to concentrate on right now:
DO NOT get any kind of 'sick' on the plane ride tomorrow, the weather change to the east coast, AND big ole' audition on Friday.

My eyes were devil-red today, which means I got allergic to SOMETHING, but it didn't affect anything but my eyes. So- I blame it on either things here beginning to BLOOM (I spent yesterday walking around outside in the beautiful weather), OR the weather changing yet again from dreary to warm to windy again..and just throwing everything off kilter.

I have been practicing upcoming audition-rep every other day here--while warming up for the show.
Honestly, I so "get" this crazy piece and I love it a little more each time I sing it.

It's soooo cool.

I am really hoping to make a good showing on Friday, oh who am I kidding- I'm hoping to kick some @ss obviously- if not for this, then just to make as good of a first impression as I can.

But AFTER Friday is what is even better-
HOME!
HOME!
HOME!

There's NO place like home and I can't wait to fly across the pond again :)

show 3 out of 4

Lovely yet again. Last night was the best audience we've had so far (oh, except for the dress rehearsal with 1200 screaming and laughing kids)...but we got a true lovely standing o at the end--and not that it counts for anything, but you could tell they were really enjoying themselves and the show and really cheering us on the whole time.

One of these days, SOMEWHERE I will have the balls enough to write about some K.RAZY drama that has gone on backstage during this show.
I suppose I can't do it here even if I DON"T name names, but all I will say is-- if I EVER, and I mean EVER get even mildly famous, I will always remember that there is NO reason to be 'difficult'. This is one of the coolest jobs ever and compared to people stuck in cubicles, there is absolutely no excuse for me to ever snip about time, schedule, days off, calls to the theater, and ANY thing else that is beyond the control of the daily schedule requirements.
That is all :)

Last show is a matinee, then cast party/superbowl, then- PACKING!

30 operas in nine years

Been adding some reviews to my website and fixing flash photo web galleries, etc.- and I just counted up my NAMED roles since 2001 (yes, there have been a few that were out of fach, or really tiny, or just not worth mentioning because the opera house wasn't 'important enough').

Ok, granted the first ...however many... were still while I was in high school, college programs, or summer apprentice programs..

But still! 30?! That is CRAZY!
I can't thank those early people who heard 'something' in my voice ENOUGH! If it weren't for their encouragement and goading TOWARD the classical music scene, I'd still be trying to be the next Sarah Brightman (in the ALO years, NOT the weird late 90s) somewhere on stage...or I may have turned to my original academic pursuits- international politics!

quick turnaround

Today started off super tired and super groggy. Probably something to do with that extremely large margarita that I had last night for dinner and those heavy enchiladas smothered with cheese. YUMMMM!

No, all dietary reasons aside, I had a dialogue brush up at noon and was planning on warming up after that.
Well, my voice was NOT planning on warming up after that!
I felt myself feeling sluggish, voice wasn't really warming up into that 'place' that feels good, and so I listened to my body and stopped.

Came back home, puttered around online, took a one hour nap, and then tried to wake up again.

Shower, makeup/hair call, THEN warm up for 30 minutes. And voila- everything was as it should be.

I was REALLY not feeling show #2 tonight--before I got to the theater.
But once there, I slowly built up a nice momentum, started feeling good about being warmed up, and then had a GREAT show!

I HATE that I don't ever have nerves after the first show. I mean, of course I don't hate it. I just hate that I have nerves for the FIRST show!
WHAT can I do to trick myself into avoiding this?

Because I was so calm and focused today.

Speed-singing (quietly) all of my words for each act before it began, going over couplets in my head before the next entrance, and voila- all was wonderful.

I'm really looking forward to the next shows...the Friday night crowd and the Sunday matinee crowd--always different, but always energized in their own way.

Can't believe I'm almost out of here!

show #2 and youtube

We've had 3.5 days off since opening night, and tomorrow is the 2nd show.
What does that mean?
That we have a dialogue brush-up tomorrow mid-day, and then 4 hours later I'm called to the theater.

I spent an hour and a half today singing today, although it wasn't current-opera, it was future-opera--I mean, I may as well say it here, and the google-ninjas of the world can try and figure out who I am yet again...because, I'm going to be blogging about it quite a bit in the next few months, I suppose.

Lucia.

And singing the Regnava, Enrico/Lucia duet, and Mad scene in the original (higher) keys...(most likely).

I don't want to talk TOO much about upcoming work when I'm still in the middle of current-show.

So let's get back to it.

2 reviews that have come in so far have LOVED the show and said two lovely things about me as well (published immediately on my website, which I have also just tricked out with updated photo flash player and new links to videos that are NEW TO YOU!).

Why new to you?
Well, that's a whole....other....discussion.
Basically, I have seen everyone including their mom AND manager recording either audio and or video of artist's live performances...with orchestra.
And for the longest time this was such a no-no.
It was some big secret if you got a bootleg recording of yourself, sent it to your agent, and had to be super careful about where it was sent out.
Lest the opera house/orchestra catch wind of it...for reasons that I DON"T quite understand. Because, if anything, this is for STUDY and MORE JOB purposes. I make ZERO money off of putting a video up on youtube of me...and heck, if I see that the login name behind over twenty videos of artists on ONE roster is actually the MANAGER of that roster--I think it's safe to assume that their live recordings of operas are just as legal as mine are.

So There!

Back to the performance- AGAIN!

I will run through the show in my head tonight. Also tomorrow after the dialogue rehearsal.
The 'opening night' pressure is off which means I hope no heart jumping out of chest experience again...but I am still excited and giddy about the performances we still have left.