I'm happy, healthy (although could stand to get a bit more buff before next-opera and upcoming-wedding!), and in love.
Yes, there are little things every day that I could think about. Little details of things that could make me 'want it' more--meaning, the career. Make me more proactive. Make me PRACTICE more perhaps. Make me google more, email more, and just do more, more, more, to try and get somewhere.
But WHERE is that somewhere?
For the count, the number of operas I am singing in between January 2010 and December 2010 is 4. The number of operas I am singing in just in the first 4 months of 2011: 3. And that ain't half bad.
The number of companies that I am actively waiting to hear from regarding possible jobs in the future- at least 3.
There are no financial worries (except how to pay for above-mentioned wedding(s)- and no, I'm not getting married to more than one person, just getting married MORE than once ....somewhere between 3 and 4 times in the next months at the moment).
I get to travel. I get to see my family. I get to spend time with friends.
And that ain't half bad.
Should I be wishing and wanting to sing at 'a certain place' at 'a certain time'?
Should I just take life as it comes?
I know I've written a LOT about this recently. Maybe it's because I have free time here. Maybe it's because all of this free time as a singer, that can't necessarily be dedicated to practicing all the time and always doing opera-opera-opera all the time--gives me a chance to go in two very different directions- the 'freak out opera career mode' and the 'totally thankful for what i have and let the good times roll mode'.
I know there is somewhere in the middle, and that's where I usually end up.
So- today I'm on the thankful side of the spectrum. At least--before 2pm.
After my bike ride and practice session I may be in full career-emailing-google-ninja mode.