unofficially no?

The rumor mill continues regarding whether any of the resident artists who sang previous-audition will be receiving a letter or phone call informing them that they are in the semi's of the competition to get into the program.
Two singers (mezzo and baritone) have heard from someone in the room that they were really liked and may receive a call.
No other news on any of the rest of us.

I will write head-of-the-program for feedback within the next days..actually, probably tonight-- and also I have been invited to email for further information regarding my audition since it was so repertoire-specific.

Spent most of the day packing more seriously, going to the post office and sending huge boxes of cd's, books and winter jackets (cost me 60 bucks for 3 boxes weighing 80 pounds in total), and really getting everything I own together.

Except scores I may need, and the whole mess of "papers" for all of the upcoming competitions, auditions, German auditions, things in translation...and life.

Onward.

important audition

I had an important audition today for the head of a program that I would love love love to be in, in a city that I would love love love to live in, that is doing rep in 08-09 that I would love love love to cover.

I was also singing an aria for the head of this program, that was from a role that she made famous during her career as a singer.
I started with it on purpose and because it really IS my favorite thing to sing.

It's long, AND she asked me to start from the 2nd section (not the usual 3rd section), which was GREAT! I got to sing some line and then all of the fireworks.

Yeeeehhaaaaawww!

So. That went well. And our AD commented that it was the best he's ever seen me act. And how much I've grown from the beginning of the year. It was a nuanced performance that was really great.

Then they asked for Durch Z, (another German!) which I would have agreed that they would pick not only because of the upcoming rep but also because it's short, and other than Oscar, nothing else was short on my list.

Durch is HARD after Aria number one. I sang it WELL except for ONE note. the LOW E. I mean, really people, I've just sung notes two octaves above that low E. And to hold it and make it pretty was really a challenge. So it was "pitchy" I get that. But maybe I still pulled the rest of it off enough to impress and maybe maybe maybe get into a program that I think I'll love love love :)

what is the difference...

5 minutes ago this was a longer post about my personal life.
It doesn't belong here, as I would rather blog about music, my career, and things that are amusing and relevant in my pursuit of my "happiness"- an operatic career onstage.

So it's gone now, and my thoughts will be better spent written in an actually diary using a (gasp) pen, and maybe in an email to my best friend.

the first g'bye

This afternoon (well, morning for me), I had lunch with one of my current-state friends. We met at my first donor-benefit concert for current-opera-company, and then she invited me to the high holidays with her family (9 month old son, husband, and his parents). We have kept in touch, she's come to see two of my performances, and now that the season is almost over it was time to meet again for a goodbye.
She brought her beautiful son with her, and we talked about kids, marriage, career, travels, future...a very nice conversation with a very real and down to earth person who believes things happen for a reason and that you can find your own happiness if you want to.

It left me feeling uplifted, excited for my future whatever it may hold, and also always wanting to remember that in this world of crazy singer's lives, what feels like constant drama with singing, divas, authority figures, scandals, rumors, and everything else catty about this business, in this world....you can still find happiness, peace, joy in yourself and your craft, and share things with new and other people that will excite and enliven your mind and spirit.

What's in store for the rest of the day?
Packing (for real), photocopying music to take with me for the summer, and general tying of of loose ends around here.
Maybe even clearing out the winshield washing fluid, character shoes, blankets, and old programs from the summer out of my trunk and starting to fill it with all of my packed things!!!

it was the day of the show y'all ;)

Ok, so after lolling around on my blankets for much of the rest of the afternoon, I got a second (or first) wind around 7pm, went to Target to buy some show gifts and cards for the principals, and then showed up for my call time at 8:15 after stopping for a quick bite.

The show was great. I mean, can you really go wrong with Mozart? No.
Actually, it's funny, but while I was picking up my sandwich I heard the overture on the radio at exactly the same time when it would have been starting in the house and thought to myself--wow, we're live on some station tonight?! Cool!
But then there was no clapping and it didn't go into "cinque...venti...trenta..." so I realized, alas, it was just a good pre-show vibe and got me in the mood to really be in the show tonight.

I'm back, feeling relaxed and hoping I can get a good night's sleep tonight to do it all again tomorrow!

one of those nights

ughghhghghg...
Couldn't get to sleep before 3am. Woke up at 5, 5:30, 6, 6:30, 7, 8, 8:30, 9, and my alarm was supposed to ring at 9:30 so that I could get up and get off of my mattress which is being picked up today by the person who bought it.

I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I have to sing a show tonight.
Who knows what I'll be doing shortly after my furniture is picked up at 10?

That's right. Going back to sleep on my FLOOR in my blankets.

still packing and almost furniture-less

Yes, tomorrow at 10am is the moment I must waive goodbye to the most comfortable bed I ever had, Ikea Malm full-sized AWESOME innerspring mattress in light birch.
I'll be sleeping on a sleeping bag and comforter for a week, or maybe the couch cushions if that's too uncomfortable...or a borrowed airmattress-but I find those to be more uncomfortable than the floor!

I have managed to pack about everything except papers and shoes.

Now that I have 4 new pairs of cute cute cute flats, I have to decide which ones (all?!!) I can take abroad, plus any other shoes (sandals, heels to see the OPERAS in, you know...).

I WANT to take: 4 pairs of flats in different colors, 2 pairs of heels (1 blk, 1 brwn), a cute pair of brown dressy shoes, and 2 pairs of sandals. But really--that would require a small suitcase on its own.

My ONE suitcase that I'm allotting myself to check is almost filled with clothes, and I still have to figure out what else to put in it (like shoes), the necessary makeup/toiletries that I refuse to buy in foreign lands, SCORES to learn, and then all of the wires that go with my stuff...
oh, wait, I think I wrote about ALMOST the exact same thing 2 posts down..gee, can you tell what's on my mind?

E-update:
-Still haven't heard from person I emailed 3 days ago. Umm, really? Ok, you get till the middle of next week, then you are on my uncool list.
-Still haven't heard from big-competition-that-other-people-already-heard-no's-from.
-Still haven't heard from mother-land-opera audition, but they DID tell me they are setting something up for me in an email..so I guess I have heard.

In translating my materials and cover letter news, there is none. I have made extremely little progress, and I'm still getting mixed information about what and how to send things.
Email?
Snail Mail and then follow up with email?
Faxes?
One page resume?
Resume/BioANDpicture on the same page?
Do or don't send attachments by email?

I mean, seriously--I just want to send emails. It's the easiest and cheapest and hopefully it'll be professional and correct enough to get some responses about singing for houses and agents while I'm there.

In other crazy-schedule news it's not like I'm hoping NOT to get to the finals or semi-finals of two major European competitions, but they DO take place during the first and second week of my supposed studies in Germany. What to do?
Well, hope that I place, of course! And if I have to miss a week of class, I'll just have to hope that they don't want to kick me out and it's ok.

In OTHER most upcoming crazy-schedule news, I got my times for 2 nyc competitions in May, and thankfully, one is on Thursday, the other Friday, and the finals for both (If I make it) are also a day apart.

That means once I leave and drive across country I'll have 3 days to get there, get unpacked, turn around and get to NYC with dresses and heels and ready to "compete" and then the whirlwind really begins!

For now, trying to clear what's left of my mattress off so that it can be picked up tomorrow morning.

Bye bye things!

noon in bed

We've been getting home close to midnight for the past 3 days, with two runs of the show--meaning I'm at the theater for about 12 hours each day. Of course when I get home even though I'm exhausted, I'm also hungry. So I guess eating the 2nd half of that cheeseburger from my 5pm dinner didn't really help me with nodding off to sleep so easily. I've been up untnil 3am or 4am the past two nights, and thankfully only having to get out of bed around 11 or 12.
But STILL I'm waking up at ungodly hours like 8am and 9am, looking over at the clock, and then rolling over in dismay that something (like the SUN) woke me up.

The show is going well, but these sets and costumes are really old and you can definitely tell. This is not opulent, extravagant, or even dare I say--pretty... It's just a little drab. And we have to make up for it by being extra good and exciting on stage I think.


Next topic. Future things.

I did something a little "ballsy" again in terms of singer practices of making contacts.
Ok, so previous-coach-at-curret-program who has offered to forward my materials to certain-person-at-red-state-opera-co, has done so. And I know this person at the opera company probably gets materials like this all the time. It's solicited, but still a bit random. So what are the odds they'll get around to looking at my mats? Well, who knows. But I still took the Initiative (ballsy initiative) and wrote this person an email encompassing all of the possible questions that I have regarding their company and their season, in a VERY well put together way.

I asked if I could audition live.
I asked if they hire out covers for their season (since they're doing a HECK of a season for coloratura ish type voice hext year)
I asked if they hire covers FROM the young artist program (and also said I'm very interested in that and I've never sung for it,but hope to have the opportunity to do so in the future)
and I asked if I could have feedback about my recording.

All very proper, not too forward, and not too apologetic.

Hey. Who ELSE is going to do this for me if I dont?
If this person chooses to write me back with some comments- great.
If this person chooses to write me back and say no, I can't give you any responses, and I also haven't listened to your materials--at least I asked.
If this person DOESN"T write back at all- I'll hope that I had the right email for them, but also be kind of annoyed because, people, we ALL check our email. EVERY day. Don't play. and Don't Hate. Just write back.

We know that you know that we know you check your email.

at the theater

Yeeaaaahhh! The internet connection works at the theater. So I've been here since 2:30.
I sang my aria at 3:45. I sang the finale at 4:15. Then I did nothing (ate dinner, got a chocolate covered rice crispy treat) and now it's 7:30. The show started at 7. I'm sitting here and waiting for my hair/makeup call which is in 15 minutes, even though I don't even come close to entering the stage until...oh...9:15 or so. And that's not including the break I'm sure we'll take around 9.

In the meantime I've been listening to 2 recent recordings nonstop trying to figure out which is better, and if either one is worthy of being sent somewhere.

Recording A is in too live of a room. Live enough that it may be a distraction. But the aria is better sung (I think) with a longer line and a bit more thought.
Recording B is in a totally dead room. And the piano is still a bit loud, but not overpresent. It's accurate, on pitch, but I was doing a few artistic diminuendoes and hairpins that MAY translate into someone hearing it and thinking that I ran out of breath at the end of the line or I"m being too precious with it.

Pitch wise they are both "kinda" fine. I mean---nothing glaringly wrong, just things that could have been tweaked were this a professional recording (you know it's done, so whatevs), and things that go by quickly that had I been singing this aria for the past 5 years like most of my other pieces, wouldn't be issues. But I basically re-learned it just to record it for one purpose.

I'm not sure frankly if either one is usable. The more I listen the more I pick out things that could be better (the 100th time I sing it)...rather than the 6th time.

On the German front I'm attempting to translate (pathetically, a bit) my resume into German for the summer.
I don't feel like I have to list the titles in German- ie, Nozze is still Nozze not Die Hochzeit..since they'll know it by the Italian title hopefully. But things like "Director, Production, Coach", etc-- and my kind of bio-- should really attempt to be in German before I send any emails and people presume I'm too lazy or something else to have my materials in German.

That's it for now. Too many things going on to concentrate--itunes in my ears, the system broadcasting Act I, and people wandering around.

packing

Today I woke up at 7am, after falling asleep only at 3am, to bring my car in for its final oil change before the drive cross country that will take place in 13 days.

I then returned to my apt and fell asleep in my jeans and shirt and socks...in my bed.
Yes I was that tired.
I didn't even hear my roommate packing up her stuff and making a raucus with the tape, the dolly, the door slamming, the boxes, etc.

We both spent the rest of the day (once I woke up feeling HORRIBLE around noon) packing. For me- deciding how much stuff can fit in my car, and what I'll have to send Media Mail or Parcel Post back to the East Coast.

Packing this time isn't just typical packing, though, because I'm pretty much packing my stuff up and at the same time packing for a month in home-country and a month in Germany--all in ONE checked bag.
Yes. One. You read it.
I have to only take one checked bag, because I'll also be bringing a carry on for short term trips within europe..and I couldn't imagine myself alone at the airport with two huge rolling bags PLUS a carry on plus my purse plus my laptop and all of the wires that belong to it---trying to get into town.
Or anywhere for that matter.

So I have the carry on suitcase packed with what I'll wear for the next 13 days and then the drive and the next week, and the huge suitcase packed with what I think I'll wear this summer.
Mind you. Both are pretty full and I haven't even included SHOES! (or scores for competitions for that matter...or anything else besides clothes). This will certainly be an interesting packing experience.

The rest of my stuff: Boxes of books and scores, 2 boxes of kitchen stuff, a huge body bag of winter clothes (not kidding- biggest duffel bag ever), a trunk of winter jackets and coats, and another huge suitcase of clothes that didn't fit in the body bag.
My closets are empty except for the dresses and shoes.

What I hate packing is the small/random stuff like small clocks, some jewelry I haven't worn in over a year, the shoe rack, the dvd player...all of the wires to everything i-own :)

But in awesome news I did manage to sell my almost brand new furniture to a chick moving in upstairs... and she's giving me my asking price!!! AND we figured out how NOT to dis-assemble the bed frame so no screwdrivers necessary! Just a strong man/boy and her...and it's outta here!

I've learned this past year how NOT to be a packrat--which I usually am, as proven by the boxes that are currently in my parents' basement from high school and college with every binder, every paper, every textbook, my notes, programs from concerts I went to...etc.
This year I managed to keep the "paper" goods down to 2 drawers of filing cabinet! And that includes all my Tax papers!!

I still keep programs--but my daily schedule printout? NOT so necessary. Unless it was of course autographed by Ewa Podles or something..which it's not.

Ok, off to the sitz tonight...I'll bring my computer along since I don't come in for so long and I'm trying to be productive!

Ah, sweet irony

**smiles** I won first place in the competition I did today.
Wheeee ;) Yay for fame, money, power---NO, it's not the behind the scenes E true Hollywood Story. It's just lil' old me singing' Lakme and a pretty Strauss Song--and now I may be able to pay for the 2 pairs of OH so cute flats and the 3 outfits that I had to buy to "go with them" this past weekend.

So relevant after posting about competitions in general. Although I suppose it was on my mind anyway.

In other "agented" non-news, that previous person-who-works-with-the-opera-company has forwarded my materials to person's colleague abroad, who wants to hear me when I'm there. Yay!

Person also dropped off my CD while person was visiting biggest-red-state-opera-with-prestigious-young-artist-program--kinda.
Which was very nice of this person--and that means that hopefully some time in the future I should make contact with, or I'll be hearing from head of said opera company regarding any feedback whatsoever.

Third company that person mentioned would be introduced to my music is Mid-Atlantic-Yap-Run-by-way-famous-singer-conductor. I'd go for that one any day--and I also MAY be singing for famous-singer-conductor, umm, earlier than expected, IF I find out that I made the quarter finals of his big ole international competition.

I haven't heard yet, and people HAVE heard No's. So I'm hoping I'm a YES! (knockity-knock on wood).

the competition post

The first thing I do when I've been notified that I'm accepted to a competition: Open that .Word document that I typed up three to six months ago with the list of repertoire that I handed in..way back when...and see if I should update it, and more importantly, if I'm ALLOWED to update it.

< I really don't see what the big deal is about changing your repertoire if you give notice that you are changing it for a competition. I understand that the judges are not an audition panel that is used to this type of thing. I understand that they may be nice little guild ladies who don't know how to use email, and downloading a file with new rep. is foreign to them, and I'll even send it in the mail! Just let me change my rep. if I want to!!!


So. If it's 6 pieces I probably said:
Lakme, Queen, Glitter, Doll, O luce, and then either Durch Z or Zerbie--depending on how much I can google about the panel, or previous winners--and the "type" of competition- ie, opera guild, or big important people that want to give you a scholarship to sing in Germany...etc.

I always give myself an "easy" aria that I know no matter how I'm feeling will be great---for me that's the Doll or Queen (even though they're not my regular starting pieces).

This season I've been particularly anti-O luce. It's a show-piece for sure---but if I'm beginning with Lakme (my starter for competitions this year) it becomes a bit of a coloratura repetitive marathon after the first piece. So this month (actually, yesterday), I decided to change my replist for 2 upcoming competitions- deleting O luce, and adding Oscar. I know- who would think it's a competition piece? I don't necessarily even think so--HOWEVER- it shows Line, Italian, acting, it's different than every other piece I have, plus I'm singing the role next year--so what's wrong with a little practice now and then?

Now to the point. What to do when you KNOW that someone will sing the exact rep. as you, and PROBABLY their last name is earlier in the alphabet than yours, so they'll sing first..and they'll start with what you sing.

Well. This kind of happened to me last year, but it was when I was only TOYING with the idea of using Lakme as a starter. There is a sop. who has used this piece for starting in at least 4 competitions that I've been in with her for the past 2 years. And each time I did the Doll. And the thing is, no matter how many high G's or how well I can kick butt in the Doll, Lakme (no matter how well or not so perfectly sung--even with pitch issues in the first cadenza)---is hands down more vocally impressive.

So what to do this year, when I'm changing my mind and deciding to begin with Lakme- knowing the most probably there will be 2 Lakme's that day, and we'll both offer: Queen, Zerbinetta, and the difference will be our Italian pieces?

Well---nothing. Last year, before I had sung the role, I may have been a bit more hesitant to sing the aria...again- no one ever asks for it, so I don't get so much practice except in coachings...sometimes..when I'm not working on new stuff...to go through older rep. that's always "prepared".
But this year it's in my bones and more importantly my soul.
So- we'll sing the same thing, and we'll see what happens.

Even though it's a competition, it's not a competition against this specific singer. It's a competition to get as close as possible to the top X number of people that get awards or recognition--and if I DO get anything, it goes straight to the bank to makeup for the exhorbitantly expensive plane tickets, summer plans and travel, and this Spring's audition flights and trips so far.

I think last year I may have felt more intimidated about this, and changed my repertoire just so we didn't sing the same thing. So we'd be judged on our own merits and not measured up against each other.

It's a valid point. I mean, we may even BOTH be eliminated because it wasn't a "clear" decision of just one to advance. Sometimes, (I've been told), winners are selected because they were the ones that were least "fought" about by the judging panel.

The bottom line is that competitions are just weird. It's not like an audition where you know if you did well and THEN you didn't get hired, you at least know that you have a contact at a certain opera house who MAY remember, you, or that you could keep in touch with--because even though you weren't the best or perfect for what they wanted...you're still a great singer and you impressed.

I know of a singer who researches EXTENSIVELY about competitions. She actually makes a small salary off of it every year or two that's how good she is (of course she has a great voice too!) But some of the things she looks at:

Knowing who won last year (if it was her "type" of soprano, she's less likely to go).
Knowing how much you could win (if it's less than the cost of the travel there and the app. fee, she won't apply)
Knowing who the judges are (when there is ANYONE that she could possibly be affiliated with or know her, she'll do it, no matter where it is)
What the prizes are (if it's an opera role and that company is doing something the next year that she can sing, she'll go for it).

Where have I found out about most of my competitions? Well, reading many singer bios helps me get a feel for the "level" of competitions that I am going for. Two years ago was my first time around, and I did pretty well (entered 2, was a finalist and won)
Last year I could only do one, and I got 2nd.
And this year I'm hoping to do MANY (but I still haven't heard final notifications from a few).
Still, in the matter of 7 days, there is a possibility to sing in 4 competitions, in three different states.

Also- yaptracker. There are SO many local (to small cities, states, libraries, schools) competitions!!! And if you're anywhere within driving area I say- go for it!
For example, I'm doing a local competition (finals are this Saturday)---it's small, but it's a good name competition, and the top prize is 2thousand bucks...I'm one of FOUR finalists. ONE of us will win that much. Those are pretty good odds I say! Why NOT apply if I'm here and have the hour free?

And finally. It's all a big gamble, but if you're prepared, you have a cute dress, your arias are totally ready, and you've got charisma and stage presence--I always say that you can have as good a chance as anyone else if you can get in and do well.

Here's hopin'!

Mattila does the splits

Tonight I had the great joy of attending a performance "from the front of the house"---meaning, listening to one- instead of coming in backstage and singing in one!
I saw Karita Mattila in concert with Martin Katz.
She sang beautifully, looked gorgeous, had three encores, but the part that I'm still jaw-droppingly crazy about is at the very end (after a cool jazzy/operatic rendition of The Man I love) she turned to us and said, "I usually only do this for my Swedish and Finnish audiences..but you've been such a wonderful group". She then proceeded to get down on one knee. I thought- cute, she's like acknowledging us as the audience- deep diva bow on the floor.
And THEN--- she was in the SPLITS!
I'm NOT KIDDING!!!

SPLITS! And yes, her dress was fine. She was wearing one of those hot Spanish themed things that is all stringy, so you can stick your legs out, but when you stand still it looks like one piece.

I can't get over it!

I turned to my friend and she said "grandma just did the splits". I think I said something like "holy jesus"...sorry.
Even though she does NOT look like a grandma--she is a lady of a certain age and most certainly looked no older than..well- does it even matter? She looked hot and younger than she is...so go her.
She's pretty much either a MILF or a GILF.

Oh, and her rep was the Hermit Songs, a set of songs from her homeland, Wolf spanishlieder, GRANADOS- LA MAJA y EL RUISENOR! (My current favoooorrrrite spanish piece), and then another set of spanish.
Encores were another homeland piece, That pretty Gypsey Song from Dvorjak (she dedicated it to the mothers since it's almost mother's day), and then the Man I love.

Loved it.
She had such poise. Such presence. Spun high, super chesty and awesome low, can travel through melismatic music seamlessly and effortlessly. If anything, it seemed like she was "warming up" in the first set, and could have gone on singing for hours by the end.

It was really an experience not to be forgotten quickly- especially those last 5 minutes!

new motivation

Yes, since just posting yesterday that I'm in a "down period of productivity" I suddenly have new projects. FUN!

A. Have to make a recording of an aria I've only sung for fun about 4 yrs. ago--by tomorrow or the next day. Why? To be considered for the role for next year. Why? Because I can't be released from our final dress rehearsal to go to NY and audition for it. Why? Because I don't have a dark night- even though there are two casts, I'm single cast (duh- my role is tiny).

B. Will be receiving scores of NEW Italian aria that I'm going to learn for my auditions next year (possibly) and other general recordings. And also will be receiving score of role for September. Oh yea, THAT'LL (not) distract me from learning that new page of Italian recit. Anything new in the future is always so much more exciting that what you have to learn for rehearsal later on that day.

C. Still have my hopes up about large-summer-famous-competition-abroad, because I know people who have received rejection emails already. I don't know anyone who has been accepted, and the forum posts are all very mysterious about whether people got in or not. It just says "yes, I heard. Good luck"...or something to that effect--for more than one person. So I don't know if that means they got a NO, or if they got a YES, OR if they know the director of the competition (from the current YAP he runs) and already know they're in.

D. I downloaded a kind of fun language program called BeforeYouKnowIt, byki.com (for FREE), that is basically a beginning or refresher course in appropriate vocab. in almost every language that you can think of. So now instead of watching law and order at midnight and one am, I'm quizzing myself on things like Die Kaffee, Die Kreditkarten, and other fun der die das vocabulary for restaurants, colors, hotels, and more.

E. Competitions. The promised post is still upcoming--after I learn this German aria and record it.

F. What can I say- I suppose I just love to be busy and challenged, and sometimes when I don't have anything going on and COULD be doing all of these things, I forget how great it feels to be motivated to do them.

catching up

As quickly as that money entered my account I decided to find it a better home. So my Stocks and long-term-don't-touch-it savings account are now 1,000 bucks richer each.

I'll have to wait until the rent rebate to go on a shopping spree or something..or...just pay for whatever apt. I end up subletting in NYC for 2.5 months.

I don't really feel like I'm "falling behind", but the title of the post suggests that I'm trying to catch up. Even with all of this free time, actually, probably BECAUSE of all of this free time, I have found myself in one of the most unproductive spells of the year.

Back in January with huge-role upcoming, next-year thoughts a-brewing, huge scenes looming, application deadlines for competitions and more--I was the most productive.

Now, even with a few deadlines looming and a few self-motivated letters and materials to be sent out, I have actually spent a large amount of time catching up on reading--mostly online, but still.
The daily ritual of reading the NYtimes is always there, but I've managed to distract myself and get to the bbc, sydney morning herald, ha'aretz.
So that's the news for the day.
Then there are the blogs---yummm! I do tend to wander far deeper than the links posted on the right would have you believe. I just don't have the energy to add them in alphabetical order to the sidebar...but rest assured that I travel through other blogs to even MORE blogs.
General google-ninja-ing. Lately it's been to research agents and opera houses in Germany in preparation for my summer of fun.

What I haven't done: Take a second glance at the recit that was cut and re-opened today. It's just two pages. Hopefully I'll know it tomorrow by 2:30.

What I also haven't done: worried any more about my furniture, where I'm moving, how I'm packing, what I'm taking, and whether it will all fit in my car.

At this point I'm assuming it'll work out. Don't know how--but I'll stay either positive, or oblivious or in denial.

Competitions--yes, I need to be rehearsing my arias again, and figuring out what I'm going to sing "for real"--rep. changes due any day now.

And also a post upcoming about: What to do/think/not to do when you know that someone in the competition is offering the SAME exact rep. (including starting piece--usually) as you are.

yay tax return!

I just checked my savings account and I have received both my state and federal tax return!
My account actually looks like it did at the beginning of September when I moved here with actual money to spend, stocks to invest in, and savings to make!

But what will I do with it?
Stocks, RothIRA and hsbc savings account.
Sometimes I forget that I have 'thousands' of dollars in places that I can't really access right now, but in an emergency or big life "thing" I could get at it with no penalty.

So it just looks like I'm poor when I miss my capital one credit card payment by ONE day, am charged 35 bucks penalty fee, AND end up having to pay 3thousand bucks in a day because of all of my flights to Europe this summer.

OK, better get started on researching the next hot stock.

like lemmings off the cliff

Today was the finals of a competition that I and two other resident artists recently competed in.

Or WAS it?

The preliminaries were last week, we all made it, and all assumed that the finals would be this following weekend. We had filled out request forms to be released from rehearsal WEEKS...no, months ago--when the competition deadline was--around December.

So we all left rehearsal today, took our quick showers, did our hair (well not the counter-tenor!), got our dresses, put the makeup on, made sure the music was in the right order, and got in the car to the competition.

We get to the venue, and the snacks, water, and sign-in ladies weren't there.
So we wonder--hmm, is it in this building? Yes.
And then I say---is it even this weekend?

Or are we all assuming that the finals were one week after the preliminaries?!!

YEP. That's what it turns out.
The finals are NEXT Saturday (ha), and it won't be a scheduling problem because we'll be in run-throughs by that time and rehearsal is only until 2:30. (My time to sing is 4:12).

I am usually SO on top of dates, times, being early, knowing everything. But this time, when there were three of us, I let the planning slide and left it up to the two singers who had times before me to figure out departure time, who was driving, etc---
too bad not one of us realized that the finals weren't even this weekend!

SO.
NEXT weekend I'll be dressing up, already warm from the run-through, and going to this thing to get it over with and maybe win a few bucks at the same time.

I've written about competitions before, but now that I'm doing a few BIG ones (still waiting to hear about finals, quarter finals, semi-finals, and other things from a few others too)...I remain convinced that there are some singers who are "competition winners", there is some rep. that's "competition winning rep", and there are also different types of competitions--
the ones run by little ole' guild ladies, and the ones run by famous opera singer teachers, and the ones run by an assembly of judges who are directors and teachers..
and each one has its own qualities- good and bad, with odds stacked for or against you, and pure luck AND talent having not much or everything to do with who wins.

So I just show up, sing pretty, and basta.
If they want to award me some dollars at the end, great. Euros- even better!

the goods

About a week and a half ago I sent an email to someone "in the know" who works with my current resident artist program, regarding agents in Italy and Germany. Asking this person if they could recommend anyone that I could sing for while I spend a month and a half there this summer.

I say "in the know" because in addition to their capacity in working with us as a coach in the program, this person is also connected to a pretty highly named European agency, and COULD pull strings if they were on your side and had seen your talent.

The response I got was something like:
"You can definitely send me a cd of your best recording and I
will give it to my colleague in Europe. I do like your voice and I loved
your doll in Hoffmann so I will say that, but because your voice is so
unique, you have to expect that people might have different reactions. if my colleague thinks that he can't sell a voice like yours, there is not too much I will be able to do from here. "

OK. I understand about being cautious. I understand that this person only heard me in the doll. I understand that my voice is "unique"(umm,,,thought that was a good thing!). So while the reply email (which was longer and offered much valuable information) was not NEGATIVE, and saying, No I won't send your stuff...it was not---YES, of course give me your materials I'm sure something can be worked out.
It was cautionary at best. The kind of- don't-get-your-hopes-up, but I guess I'll try and put your name out there just to see type of help.

Well, today I dropped off my CD and materials at said person's house.
2 hours later I receive an email of a VERY different nature.

Have you sung for so and so? I'm going out of town next week and would be happy to bring your CD along (So-and-so being 2 of the biggest opera companies in the US with very high level resident artist programs). My colleague in Italy wants to meet you and wants you to sing for them...can you arrange a trip to Italy while you're in Germany? bla bla bla...

OH REAAALLLYYY?

So my recording is either "that good" or showed off that I can do stuff WELL besides the doll... (meanwhile, it took me a WHILE to decide what to put on it..because I thought it would just be sent to that one person...)
I sent:
Doll, Queen (both with orchestra from my live recordings), and then I sent piano of DurchZ, A Zarzuela, and Zerbie.

Didn't realize I had 3 Germans on there until I dropped it off, but those really are my best recordings in terms of piano and I wanted to show that I could do "normal" Mozart/Soubrette stuff with the DurchZ, crazy coloratura stuff with Zerbie, and awesome Queen stuff with the orchestra recording.
And that I rocked at doll.
And then the zarzuela is the only LOW and LEGATO thing I have right now.

ANYWAY.
What is the moral of this experience?

Well, I'm not SO sure yet, but here is my idea about it. People can have very strong perceptions of what your voice can or can't do, who you are, what you sound like, and everything about you---before they hear you in anything, or after just hearing you in one role. How many people who have only heard me in the doll think that I can ONLY sing the doll?

I'm GLAD that my recordings (even though I've spent no money on them, and have used a minidisk or what I could grab from live performances with friends and family in the audience holding my minidisk) can prove othewise, but I also wonder how many people may have that general perception (even though they MAY receive regular updates about my roles sung, etc), that I am just the "doll" with freakish high notes.

Here's to proving them wrong and having the goods on the CD to show for it.

a week later...

I have my first day of rehearsal today. The show has already been in rehearsals for a week, but since I only come in during Act III and IV I have had PLENTY of time off, including my PLENTY of time off after Lakme. But do I know my part by heart yet? No, but before 4pm today I will!

I mean, I know it in that magical-I-didn't-ever-have-to-study-it,-but-somehow-it's-in-my-head -way.
And so I need to make sure that if the magic disappears that I can still call upon it and "know" it.

Just spend 450 MORE dollars on plane tickets for my upcoming competitions in May. Yes, these are the ones AFTER the NY ones which I'm driving across the country for.

I don't even want to know how much my credit card bills will be with the Europe trips, plus the recent Midwest audition plus the Southern/Midwest upcoming competition tickets.

Yuck.

At least I "have" it available in my savings account. If I didn't that would be another story.

And I'm being "peer pressured" into going to Australia again---this July, before special someone moves halfway across the world to finish his phd research.

feeeeedback, new arias, and craigslist

In backwards order:
I just put up all of my furniture for sale on Craigslist.
I HOPE someone wants it inthe next 20-odd days, or else, uhh, I don't know how I'm driving cross country with just my clothes and books!!

Had a coaching today and ended up talking about new Italian arias, and how most of my auditions it's easy to tell what the panel will choose 2nd, but many time I feel like they find it a problem with my "showy" coloratura arias.
They always ask for something legato.
HOWEVER in their haste to write off the "showy" arias, they forget that OVER half of Lakme is legato, OTHEr sections of Zerbie are legato, DURCH ZARTLICHKEIT is legato, and so are many many parts of other arias that I sing.
But I still get the feeling that they ask for Oscar to hear the low and legato, and O luce to SUFFEr through the rest of the aria after they hear the Italian recit.

So what can I do? Well, find a piece that will add some Italian legato--NOT like I avoid it!!! I just don't have a piece for a Lyric like Piangero or Pamina's aria that is ALL line and no coloratura.

My best pieces have legato AND some fireworks.
Frustrating, yes, but the truth.

So I think I found one from a not-so-often done, and very-recently-published opera/vocal score.

If I like it. Don't know yet.

And finally, feeeedback. I say that like somehow it quenches my hunger to know what someone thought of me.
Which it really doesn't. If it's relevant, it's relevant. If not, it was that day and their perception.
So today it was relevant. It was a "pleasure" for them to hear me, my top notes are "freakishly easy", bla bla bla..all things I already know so it's not really worth writing them here--but still nice to hear them coming from a person in the business that matters to my future possible hiring.

I DID think a lot about being asked to sing parts of 4 arias yesterday, and how I SHOULD have taken a water break.
Because even though I had a great audition, I should have felt comfortable enough to take a little break..but instead I felt like I'd break the flow of something if I stopped, so I just trucked along. And it was absolutely fine. But it would have maybe been MORE fine had I stopped for a breather between Glitter and Oscar!

And so I learn more and new things. When you're going to an opera house to sing for them, it's nothing like the NYC "factory" that is outside in the hallways filled with singers and managers. It's relaxed. They are on their home turf, and it seemed much more cordial and pleasant.

Of course, that also could have been because it was an 'agented audition'...hmm...
More to come with thoughts on that.

home early

I managed to catch an earlier flight from MidWest audition (no, it wasn't chicago,gp, you KNOW I'd call you up if it was!!!!).

So.
I sang 2nd V. of doll, Queen(#2), Glitter (2nd half --the talking to the end), and Oscar.

I will say that I wasn't vocally TIRED by the end, but I was feeling it a BIT. So I kicked the drama into higher gear because I was feeling a bit like- "hmm...singing low and legato after 3 show-pieces..this kinda sucks!!! Wow! At least the legato still sounds good and I'm making an attempt for dynamics!"
HA.

Anyway- didn't get feedback, and won't since that was an "agented audition"..I'm going to have to come up with a more interesting name than managed audition (since I'm not), and "agented" may be it for now.

But what I did get was- lovely to hear you, you sound great, I'm glad I heard you, I'll definitely think about you for upcoming la di dah...

So that was nice.
Who knows. Perhaps not what I was put up for, but something in the future.

And now I'm back in my same old extremely disorganized mess of a room.
OH YEA--and I got into the finals of a semi-local competition- along with 2 other Resident Artists!
And there are only 4 finalists in the vocal category!

Way to sweep the competition RAPpers.

audition

While the Nor'East may be bracing for one huge storm, I'll be flying to the MidWest today for a mainstage audition for '09.

I'll leave in two hours for the airport, but right now I'm not leaving my bed yet.

Because I didn't schedule a heavy audition season this year (4 total), and we have sung for only a few agents throughout the year at current-yap, I feel actually a bit rusty about auditioning. Not with my repertoire or presentation, but rusty on getting to the point where I walk into an audition, and it's just another audition and I don't care that much.

I mean, of course I care. But my body, my body language, any nerves that decide to mess with me--just the routine of it all is rusty to me, and it's routine that keeps me from feeling anxious about what is coming up.

When I walk into an audition I like to be on top of my game. And I pretty much always feel that vocally-- except if I'm sick. I know who I'm singing for, I know what they're casting, I know which coloratura they had in their program last year, I know which one will want to return this year, and in essence, the one I'm singing against right now to hopefully win a spot in a certain young artist program. (well, those are for YAP auditions).

This is for mainstage, AND I'm being sent by an agent, so I have a new banner over my head.
How do I feel about that?
Wow- who knew that having MY NAME, COMMA, AGENT NAME, could open so many door and feel so different.
The first time (audition1, NYC a few weeks ago) was a breeze- sing durchZ, kick butt, sing Oscar, kick more butt. Wait and see.

No, I am not managed.
This whole firstname lastname that's besides MYname is the work of a wonderful person in this business who I had the opportunity of meeting online and in real life, and this person happens to want to help me after hearing about my situation with next year. Which I'm assuming means that this person believes in my talent enough to put their brand name next to MYname on my materials, and send them out on my behalf.

I do agree that I'm a bit on the "young" side to be managed in GENERAL, but my voice and my experience so far is NOT GENERAL.
I've sung a MAJORITY of the roles that I will continue to sing in my career already--on pretty important main-stages. And if I haven't sung it fully yet, I'm close to memorized and ready to go (Zerbie)

I have not done any official auditions for management, I don't know whether I will do that this fall or not or whether it's even necessary. It's not even something I'm thinking about right now, when my goal really is to fill Jan-May of '08 with mainstage and THEN think about YAPs for next summer.

Am I making the transition from a young artist to a mainstage artist?
Well, I HOPE so, but in the meantime, it's not stopping me from thinking about sending out applications to the biggest summer and season YAPs which I have not necessarily ever auditioned for before, and if I have, it was over 2 years ago.
There are still four companies out there (summer and year) which I've NEVER sung for, and they're pretty big and important, and it's never worked out in my schedule to do either their prelims or finals or both.

So it's a thought in the back of my head, but it's ALSO a thought to talk to current-boss and see if they're actually scheduling their Abduction for '09 and if they'll consider me for it!

Wow, I just went on a large tangent.
Back to the audition.
I'm not nervous. I just don't have that feeling of waking up in NYC for the 18th time and thinking, when is this audition season OVER? Can I go back to sleep now? Ok, let's get this over with...
Which is a great feeling to have when you're singing great, you have confidence, and you couldn't care less about what happens because you KNOW you'll get something because you're putting it all out there and it's the BEST you have.

OK, so that inspired me to TRY and feel that way anyway--maybe going off of my last mainstage performance.
It will be the best I have.
And I'll love it.
AND I get a day off and free dinner and a night in a Kingsized bed in a cool downtown hotel!

more plans

This must be just about the most boring blog to read about during this time period when I'm pretty much manic about my life next year and whether it will be filled with wonderous musical performances, or not-so-wonderous temp jobs.

Ok, a new plan has been added. Concerts.
Things like the Poulenc's and the Orff's and other concert standards I've performed before.
Google who is doing them.
See if they're "cast"- most likely with smaller regional orchestras or ballet companies- NO, and then send them my stuff.

So far I've found 6 places that are possibly not cast yet (at least the websites don't have any information about who could be singing them). OK. One afternoon of research down, many more to go.

boo!

Just googled plan..whatever letter it is below...regarding mother-country opera and they are doing NO shows next season that have coloratura sopranos in them!!!
Ok, to be fair they're doing Dido and Aeneas so if I wanted to pull out Belinda (NOT in the audition of course) I could...it's not even listed on my resume anymore b/c it's so small.

But everything else is Butterfly, Gioconda, Forza, a world premiere that I'm sure has been cast for a number of years, and generally nothing else..oh yea, and Onegin.

Ok, cross that plan off.

Best send those cover letter after all.

more decisions

Today I printed out four cover letters that I COULD send to four opera companies to request a late May audition, while I drive back cross country through their city.
Why?
Well, what keeps going through my head is what my plans are beginning January 08.
It's nice to be a blank slate, but as my type A personality wills me to always have a plan, I'm trying to make some plans based on things that could happen.

Plan A:
Mother-country opera gives me a gig in Jan-May of 2008. I end audition season in NYC, and then get to do whatever I want until going back for that gig, and I don't worry about filling up my Spring 08 with shows or not.

Plan B:
One of the places where my materials were sent over the past 3 months calls person-who-sent-them up, and wants to hire me for one of their 2008 shows. Again, I feel no pressure after NYC audition season, and I just do that gig.

Plan C:
I have such a great time studying language and being in Europe this summer that I do an official tour for a few months and see what happens.

Plan D:
One of these four companies still hasn't cast their entire Sprin 08 season yet and wants to hear me in May.
I know it's completely past the season of auditions, but I'm driving through their city...if they're there, why NOT ask?

Plan E:
I pick a city (probably the one that I did my undergrad in), call upon my previous connections, keep working, and hope I have an awesome audition season for summer programs and mainstage Fall 08.

Plan F:
Anything else that happens to me between now and Jan.of 08- like maybe getting into one of the residency programs that begins in January or April or anything else.

Those are the possible plans so far. There are MANY more ideas. But these are the frontrunners and ones that I hope will materialize. Of course, unfortunately I have very little to do with whether they actually do happen- besides auditions that have not passed yet. But isn't that always the case?
You do your best, and wait. And while you wait, hopefully you made enough money at your last gig to support this singing habit.

That's why I have 3 US competitions and 3 International Competitions upcoming, and grant requests in the mail.

So I think I'm covering my bases as much as possible.

I think in the near future I'm going to have a sit-down with current-boss about where the co. sees my voice going, what their possible future rep. is, and whether they would consider me for something upcoming, or do they want to continue the trend of giving their YAPpers a bit of space to develop for a year or two before hiring them back for mainstage.

Basta.
I'm watching the end of Top Design right now.
I want to live in Carissa's loft.

show me the money

And for 1400 MORE dollars I get to fly to said places that I'm going to this summer.
I don't even want to think about what my airline tickets have cost me since January, but I'd easily say it was upwards of 1200 dollars. Thank GOODNESS they were all for auditions and shall be written off next year's taxes.

Now, do I get to deduct 1,000 of the 1400 because I'll have an "audition" in mother-country where I'm going to take a large vaycay as well?

hmmm...

First day of rehearsal went smoothly today. Not like I sing much, but I sat quietly and politely with a borrowed Castel, filling in the parts of Susanna I haven't translated over the years from my scenes assignments and failed forays into memorizing the entire role, because I hope I'll eventually be singing the role at some point in my life (I hope, or otherwise my hand is tired from writing for nothing!)

last opera o' the season

Tomorrow we begin rehearsals for the last opera of the season.
Do I know my part? Well, I do in English! But that won't help me too much when I'm singing recits in Italian tomorrow at the run-through.

I spent this morning emptying out my bank account to pay for what will be probably the most productive summer I've had all of my life in terms of language immersion. I hope it's worth it as much as I hope my career travel abroad in the near future.

I'm a bit nervous about sending that large of a check in the mail, so I paid the extra 20bucks to send it priority with tracking and signatures and all that--and if they don't like it on the other end--well TOO BAD!

Plus, I learned new things at the bank today about getting a transfer of funds in Euros, versus wiring money.

First is 15 bucks, second is 45! First is immediate, 2nd can take up to a week!

No thanks! I'll stick with option number one and hope that the money gets there!


On the personal life front, things got really rocky last night until about 2am. And now it's ok again..for now. Maybe.
It's this long distance. Don't try it kids. Especially not for 4 years. Unless you have a really really great plan for life and a lot of patience.

On the holy-crap-what-am-i-doing-with-my-life-next-year front,
I my summer plans are pretty much 100% concrete.

I leave here the 14th. Arrive in NYC for competitions the 16th. Sing for another competition in the midwest the 21st. And yet another one in the midwest the 24th.
Leave for home-country-motherland on the 26th.
Leave for summer immersion and audition tour on June 22nd.
And return to the states for my best friend's wedding on Jul.28th.
That's all folks. That's my exciting summer.

And then the next season? The rest of the year?
Mwahahha.
Ok, return to current-yap as a PRINCIPAL artist, move to NYC for 2.5months (cooooool!) and do as many auditions for mainstage and yaps and raps as I can...while also I SUPPOSE getting SOME sort of temp job (cringe) or other project to work on.
I'm SO much more qualified than a temp job!!!! Can I just put that out there?!!! I wish I could be working on outsourced grantwriting projects, or policy research, or assisting professors....LORD what I wouldn't give for something like that.

OK, onward.
January 2008 through the rest of my life- a large and oh-so-fun-to-doodle-on blank slate.

If I get hired in home-land-mother-country, that would be great.
If I get hired for small-US-regional company, that would be great.
If I move back to city-of-undergrad and find work singing a bit and working a bit, that would be great too.
If I move to KYOTO to be with my boy, be a tourist and see some Buddhist temples for a few months, that's great too (as long as I have the money of course!)

:)

So. I've been back and forth every other day about how I feel about this. One day scared, another excited, another unprepared and wishing I did more auditions this year, another completely over the young artist/resident artist scene and starting to make a career for myself as a mainstage singer...and excited about it!

Today- excited.

project

I have 43 pages of "material". Yes, that includes lists of things, and thoughts that are complete ramblings in blog-esque form. But it also includes 10 pretty clearly written pages as a start.

I'd like to keep this on the "lighter" end of writing motifs, but include the information that is needed in a clear and concise way.

In crappy weather news, Spring has decided to go into hiding, and it's about 20 degrees outside, and has been for the past 4 days.
What is going on!?!??!
I already packed up all of my sweaters and warm jackets (see SPRING CLEANING post below!!!!)

So I've been inside. Yes. Inside all day.
But being productive. Except not moving at all from two spots. The couch and my bed.
And I wonder why I can't fall asleep until 3am.

Actually, with the amount of writing, revising, etc. that I've done today I actually feel like I could fall asleep right now.

taking the plunge

I MAY be doing it finally. Writing the book or handbook or that thing to be published about the things which I know about which could help singers.

back at home

Audition:
Zerbinetta as a starter- felt pretty good. Sang really well. Room was very nice as was the vibe. Didn't feel SO artistic about it, but knew that it was "on" and "acted".
So I dont' know.

Then when I listed my other arias I got "can I hear something legato"--so while there are sections of legato in each of those arias, I suppose the Oscar is the most legato (although now that I think about it the DurchZ is, but whatever)

Sang it. Went really well.
Got a "you'll make a wonderful Oscar next year" comment.

And that's it.
And that's when I started thinking---thinking that I've been on this performance high and these audition highs because I've been doing things to try and set up my life next year.

And now I just feel not high. I know it can be post-performance depression/letdown, but I DO have things upcoming and I AM excited about them.

What I waver between being excited and freaked out about is the same thing. What my life will be like in January. And where I'll be.
I know where I'll be in September, October, November, and December---mostly auditioning plus and upcoming opera.

But then what?

More thoughts on this later maybe.
For now, translating the next opera.

agent audition

Later today I have an audition for an agent who is coming to see the opera tonight.
I have never officially pursued agents, although I've certainly written about my experiences and auditions for the ones that have come here and heard the resident artists, but I do always think it's important to know who you are about to sing for.

So I went to this agent's website and noticed that on his roster (well, not his, but the company), were two young-ish sopranos who do all of the coloratura/soubrette rep. One has done two roles in the past two years that I'm going to be repeating in the next 6 months, in the exact same productions--different locations.

And one I've always followed her voice, from the US to overseas.

So what does that leave me with? Either the chance to sing my "opening" aria of this year- which is pretty much in direct "competition" with these girls--who are already managed and famous....

OR- the chance to sing my "opening" aria as something that neither of them could sing AND that is not represented on their roster:

A Zerbinetta.

Of COURSE I will not sing all 12 minutes of it.
But I'm strongly considering (and will most likely not change my mind about) beginning with the So war es mit Pagliazzo and going through to the end---
about 6 minutes or so.

And to offer queen, and other roles with the F's and "true coloratura" (Lakme) that these other girls don't have--EVEN though the rep that I would normally sing includes all of the coloratura roles that these two girls sing.

I'm never attached to my starter aria---the only reason I changed it to DurchZ this year was because I was getting sick of Chacun--even though I was getting great feedback with it.

So maybe from now on I'm moving into real coloratura-land for my openers---and they'll just have to assume that DUH since I can hit that E or F I can also sing the Mozart "maids" and other coloratura/soubrette cute borderline things.

That is, except when I audition for a program that I know will be doing Abduction in a certain city I want to be in, in a certain year and a half.

sneaky opera news

I don't usually make it a point to google-search myself THAT often (except when my website was being built and I wanted to see if it was the first thing that would pop up).
Today I received an email from an opera subscriber who attended the Lakme matinee. He said that he was a regular poster to some online forums that discussed productions and performances, etc--so I naturally assumed it was either Opera-L or Opera News Standing Room, and that there had been some nice discussions and reviews of me not only in this but in two previous roles I've done- one here and one 2 yrs ago.

I'll sometimes check in on these websites (once or twice a year for a specific production if I hear there is chatter about it), but they are not pages I go to very often.

He emailed out of the blue after finding my website and congratulated me on my performance. Which was of course so lovely and nice, and I wrote him back thank you email, since it's always nice to get these kinds of comments from strangers ;)

And then I made my way over to those forums, and google-searched my name inside their archives along the way.

All I have to say is WOAH! That's pretty cool. First of all, I found an online review of our Hoffmann that I had NO idea was even written!!! So I get to add that to my website "press" pages--and it's from Opera News!!!

And second, it was refreshing to read reviews, thoughts, impressions not only on the voice, but on production, costuming, and conducting.

So often I just get a review of myself vocally from my coach, conductor or boss.
And of course I KNOW how I THINK I did, but I'm not sure if it got across to the audience.

Well, on Sunday it did.
Hurrah.

weekend update

Ok, so I couldn't wait until tomorrow because I can't sleep (even though there is a beautiful man in my bed right now)...he's asleep though, and I SHOULD be as I'm taking him to the airport at 4am.

WELL-
Friday- Family and boy arrive. We have lunch, dinner, I sing with Mallika on Public Access tv (the flower duet), and then we relax for the evening. I AM able to sleep.

Saturday- meet the fam and boy for Brunch. Spend the rest of the day writing thank you cards, going through words to the opera in my head, thinking about not being nervous, and warming up around 5pm for about an hour--slowly, deliberately, and singing small pieces of all of the role.

Saturday night- no hope for any sleep.
I look over at the clock about every hour even though I'm in bed by midnight.
I start going through the words to the show in my head hoping that I'll nod off. No, instead I finish the show and still can't sleep.

TODAY- wake up around 9:30am. Shower and warm up at the same time. 10:45- off to the theater. I am always the first one there. It's how I like it, whether I have to warm up or not.

THE SHOW
I have posted about being nervous before, your body betraying you while your mind is "at peace", your mind betraying you while your body does fine.
Today I got over it. Really. I felt EXCITED before the show. Not "mojo FU ala nfcs" excited, but really just happy. Happy with the family that was here. Happy that I'd be doing what I have wanted to be doing for SO SO long onstage in the next 3 hours.
Happy.
The first offstage lines I feel my heart racing.
When the temple doors open I feel my knees knocking a bit.
But the voice never failed me. It was clear as a bell, no effort, no crazy nervousness in the throat, nothing.

After my first little "ditty" with "daddy", my Nilakantha exited and as he did so, whispered "you're doing great" in my ear. And it just made my heart melt. This cast and the resident artists have been so absolutely supportive of me. It's not often that one of us gets to do such a big role, and what he said just made everything disappear except for me and my character for the next 3 acts.

From there everything went smoothly.
Flower duet- Felt the good energy, felt the big 2.
Pourquoi- Had the dramatic tension and resolutions it needed. I'll listen to the recording but there may have been ONE sforzando that I ended early and caught myself on.
First duet- A lot of energy and reality.

Act II--the aria!
The cadenza--oh, the cadenza.
Of course who WON"T tell you that they're amazing in the practice room.. Well, I won't. I NEVER get off pitch for this with piano in a practice room. ONCE in rehearsals I ended up a quarter tone sharp.
Today was no exception--Ended BAM on that high and low E. YEA.
The aria: Such good energy. After the last E the crowd pretty much just kept clapping ...for a really long time (I'll see how much on my illegal MD recording of it when I get around to listen)...and I just held it and smiled. It felt amazing.

ActII duet and aria--this is where I felt it really came together. All of my low(er) duets after the aria were always the most challenging for me. From singing high E's to having to really shape the passagio-area ditties.
It was HOTTT if I do say so myself.
(after this act my conductor knocked on my dressing room door, and said brava--it was the best it's ever been).

Act III- yes, up there 8 feet in the air in our bungalow hideaway:
REALLY REALLY good.
AGAIN, the slow and LOW Berceuse that I worried about was a piece of cake.
Floating the high C at the end was magical. I got a little hairpin crescendo decrescedo in there as well. Just really really pretty.

And then it just went on like that--two more mini-arias, the death scene..final duet...and that's it.

Just like that the night was over.

I was beaming.
So were my bosses and colleagues.

This is why I love my "job". It's not even a job. I just created art tonight that will never be captured again. I told someone a story. I moved someone for the first time. I put all of that hard learning, French studying, passagio work, coaching, diction, rehearsal...everything---into what I did tonight.
And I felt wonderful about it.

And now I can't sleep and still have to wake up in 4 hours.

it's the weekend of the show y'all

Will I EVER not use that title post to open show day or show weekend? Probably not- since Waiting for Guffman is just that good.

I went to the orchestra dress for the other cast tonight to hear some acoustical balance things. Mostly good, mostly they were controlling themselves in this lush French music that is easy to overpower two singers in their middle voices for most of the duets and recits.

Feelings:
Umm, still not nervous (just WAIT until Saturday night and Sunday).

Back hurts and muscles are sore from stress and fatigue probably, but today was my last chance at getting a massage. If I do it tomorrow I'll be too "loose" for Sunday. Yes, this happened before- the first time I sang QOTN I got a gift certificate from a relative for a massage and I felt like falling asleep during the next two days (one of which was the performance). It releases SO much that it's hard to gather that energy back up and use it full force in performance.

Family comes in tomorrow. So does boy. It's always MORE stressful for me to plan out things to do with them while NOT talking to much, NOT making myself tired, NOT eating out too much---before a show. I used to hate when they came to see me, because it would make me MORE nervous for some reason. THIS time I am really glad they're here.

My parents, however, were given directions by me NOT to attend because of a conflict with my youngest brother's FINAL college A capella spring show. It's a big one. He's the music director. He has a senior solo, and speakers that will talk about him...plus I remember my senior show so well and my parents were there and it's really a shame to miss it. We're on the SAME day--same time-- two different time zones--so I told my parents that this is HIS last college show maybe forever--and this is MY first Lakme--something I'm sure they'll see me do again.

And with that, it's before midnight and I'm ACTUALLY tired.
So I'll try to stretch out my back, maybe even put some icy-hot on it (or Vick's vapor rub- same thing, kind of), and get a somewhat decent night's sleep---
because I won't be sleeping much in the next two days if nerves are anything like they usually are.

Ah, tossing and turning and reciting French recit, arias, and duets for 300 pages really can get you through a night.

Probably no more posting (unless I'm really energetically or nervously inspired) until POST- SUNDAY!!!

final run-through

This afternoon my cast had it's final run-through...it was also our FIRST run-through in costumes (for my cast).

The situation is a bit strange because the cast B here never gets an orchestra rehearsal until we're up there doing it, and in our only theater run-through just the principals were in costume, and everyone else could be in street clothes.

It was close to impossible to feel like this would be a show-- especially since I got a late start today and didn't do any warmups besides a few lip trills in the shower.

It's strange how BOTH times when I had important run-throughs and I didn't really do my normal routine for warming up (and was actually running late in general), that the runs went the most smoothly.

Things to remember:
If I can JUST close that fourth wall and only react to everything onstage I have a much more calm perspective about my peformance, what I have to do, and my job out there.

No one is there except for the conductor...and the people onstage with me.

Ooooohhhhhmmmmmmm....

Next: If you're scared of heights don't do this production. Act III is 8 feet up in the air with no walls, creaky floorboards underneath you, and exactly a THREE foot deep and eight foot long playing area.

And lastly: If I ever learn how to walk with trains, long skirts, petticoats, and not feel like I'm about to trip over myself every second, I should get a prize.
Actually, I should get a prize if I can get up and down those stairs from the 8 ft. "loft" in Act III without completely walking "up" my dresses.

How do girls DO it with such ease and how come I always walk into my dresses!??!


And lastly lastly---
Relaaaaxxx guy!

I am feeling more and more confident about Sunday.

spring cleaning!

It's finally nice enough to have the windows open and the nice WARM sunny fresh air seeping through the screens.

I spent yesterday spring cleaning--in between being online and running back and forth from the laundry machine and my room.

I put the coats away in their trunk! I put MOST of the sweaters away. Frankly, I put most of my CLOTHES away (their usual home is on my bed after I've taken them out of the dryer, or on something else in my room that is NOT dressers of shelves).

Then I moved on to the piles of papers.
Tax papers that I haven't filed yet, recommendation letters for YAPs from years ago, records of everything, old planners with audition locations and what I sang.
Of course every year I look at these things while I'm packing or unpacking, and decide to keep them- just in case. And every year I use those things MAYBE once for reference..and otherwise they collect in paper piles in my room, office, and file cabinets.

I did all the dishes, dusted, washed my comforter cover (and put the SECOND comforter that I sleep with away!!!), and today I may even get around to vaccuming.

The strange thing about the beginning of spring is that I have no clothes for it.
I have so many sweaters from winter locations, great summer clothes from my summer vacations and visiting family in the "homeland", and nothing in between.

Today I must have put on 5 outfits before realizing that even though they looked good I had no SHOES to go with them, so I couldn't wear them.
I can't wear my nice heels to rehearsal, I have NO flats (I know, how did I miss that craze, you ask), and my sneaks don't really go with offwhite pants or capris!!

So I ended up in good ole' jeans and a light sweater. Must go shopping. Oh, no, wait- Must wait for hopefully large tax return and then go shopping.

run-through

This morning was my first full run-through of the show will full chorus. All of the "bosses" were there in the company- the prez, the artistic dir. and admins---not that I should have been surprised at this, but they came to rehearsal with the other cast last night, so I thought maybe I'd have a light morning and mark a bit, since I had a full run-through senza chorus yesterday afternoon.

Instead, I warmed up in three and a half minutes, and sang the best show I've sung so far...and got great feedback on the voice and the acting. Conductor said it was at a totally new level today and stay right there for next week's performance. Director had TWO notes on my French and that's it. And all of the staff was congratulatory as well.

Now, I'm not looking for congrats and accolades from these people. They are not my voice teachers or coaches, but they are what matters in this performance, and for my image at this company, and for my future with this company as well.

So I'm really proud of myself. I'm happy with my performance. And I'm even feeling less stressed and nervous about the whole thing in general.

I'm feeling more removed from those "what if..holy crap..oh god" moments with my nerves, and feeling closer to "yes! I am doing this...I love this" moments with the performance, the character, and my commitment.

That is NOT to say that next Sunday I won't be nervous or fear those demons creeping into my performance. But I'm so content right now with what I'm doing and how it feels. It's this euphoria that can make everything better and make this career and the insanity surrounding it all worth it.

Oh, and after the run? I came home and FELL into bed for 3.5 hours.
It felt SO good.

email update

I decided to go the personal route this time for the email notifications of my upcoming performance. I went through my inbox of folders, including summer-yap-last-year, summer-yap-two-years-ago, first-residency, directors, conductors, coaches, a few undergrad professors, and my "Music" folder which holds any music-related emails that can't be categorized. I sent out the emails today during my "nap" in between rehearsals.

And now, I'd like some love from the ladies. I hate how I feel in general the week before that "t.o.t.m." **. Chords just a bit more uncooperative, general sluggish body and energy, thick sounding voice, nothing in the middle is easy, and everything seems and sounds just a bit more muddy- and I'm working harder to keep pitch up because of that fatigue.
And of COURSE this has to happen on week pre-show, and then...show.
Ughghghg.

Not like I haven't dealt with it in shows before, but this one is just..different..and big..and important..and waaaa!!!




** TIME OF THE MONTH!!

If you think it's TMI, T.F.B.(too freakin bad).

24

No, not the show with JACK and his ticking clock- just MY past 24 hours:

5pm- leave for airport
5:25pm- park at airport, go through security.
5:40pm- realize that EVERY flight on every airline that has to go to Chicago is delayed by 4 hours or cancelled. (OH crap goes through mind --how will I get to NY?)
5:47- talk to American Airlines dude and ask him HOW I can get to anywhere on the East Coast by tomorrow at 7am.
5:53- Get a DIRECT flight on Northwest to NYC that evening! Leaving at 7pm!

10:50- arrive NYC.

Sleep very little at a friend's place because the stress of that day, and the upcoming travel stress of the next day woke me up every two hours--out of horrible dreams of missing flights and being fired...etc...

8am- wake up
8:45am- leave apt. on the way to audition.
9am- STUPID audition studio that SAID I'd have NO trouble doing a walk-in warmup room at 9am is BOOKED SOLID until 10:30am- thank goodness I did a FEW lip trills before leaving the house.
9:27am- hide in the Men's dressing room and try to warm up
9:32- get caught by studio guy who says that Equity would have a fit if they knew a girl was singing in the guy's dressing room.
9:32- Tell studio guy I'm not equity, I'm AGMA..and walk out of there.
9:55- Audition. Durch Z and Saper Vorreste.

Thoughts: As I was not fully warmed up, this was no CLOSE to my best, but I don't think bad by any standards either. I can never tell how many other kick ass Durch Z's they hear, with full high E's, great runs up to the E's and A's, and in general fun, good acting.
I could have had better legato, but that really is maybe my only thought about that...plus my general attitude didn't seem to all be there because I was worried about not being fully warm.
Oscar- awesome. Think I acted it the best ever- plus it was the first time I ever offered it...I like it so much better than long 'n boring O luce, and overdone Norina-- so maybe this will stick.

10:07- get downstairs and find Car service waiting.
10:47- arrive at Kennedy.
11:24- flight is SUPPOSED to be boarded and leave, but it's 30 minutes delayed.
2:02- arrive HERE.
2:11- after ridiculous airport run-around I FINALLY find where I parked my car and how to GET there (yes, I was at the right lot but somehow there were no elevators on MY side of the lot--so I had to go to another terminal practically--to get to my car on the 3rd floor)
2:32- ARRIVE AT REHEARSAL that began at 2:30!!!!!
5:30- End rehearsal exhausted, in my "plane" clothes, and go HOME to update blog, check email, and NAP until rehearsal tonight which is in 2 hours!!!!

I made it. It was crazy. And I don't want to have to do it again any time soon. But I did it this time, and luck was on my side.

luck be a lady

In 6 hours I'll be off attempting my 16 hour adventure in the skies.

But first- a run-through of Act I and II this morning. Off to warm up.

contact emails

I spent a good part of yesterday being a "good business-savvy" singer and composing emails to contacts about my upcoming performance.
Of course, it's always easy to keep in touch with the singers-- a mass email to one summer group here, a mass email to another summer group there, reminders of funny things that happened over the summer, and OH, btw- yes, I'm in this show in two weeks.

It's a whole different ballgame when you're emailing the coaches, directors, teachers, agents, conductors from those programs, and from any point in your career.

I have a few lists on my computer (either in old emails, or in actual word documents), of the names, emails, how I know them, how much contact I've had with them.

But it never fails- every time I am writing one of these emails I wonder how professional or unprofessional it is to "mass" email. I'm not talking about putting every person I know in one email. I'm talking about putting all the coaches/directors/conductors from ONE program on a mass email.

In the past I've done both a cut and paste job and made it personal, and I've also emailed a mass group. Sometimes I start with a mass group and then if they write back, I'll of course respond personally.

I haven't decided what to do this time.

And then there is the question of what really to say---because I know that 99.9 percent of them (minus one agent) will NOT come to the performance since
a. they do not live anywhere near here
b. they teach/coach/direct/conduct elsewhere
c. I'm not in NY where you can just get to the performance on a whim of the evening.

And THEY know that I know that, and therefore this "invitation" is just a "catch up"/connection email...and while I'm extremely good at the catch-up/keep in touch/news/press emails, and I know they can never hurt, I still think carefully about how to word these things and hope that they are always appropriate.

act iii roadblock

Act iii takes place in an 8x8 foot playing area meant to resemble a shack in the forest.
It is elevated from the main stage by about 10 inches, and while movement is tight and there are always at least two people (until daddy shows up to yell again) inside there, it's been a challenge to really give up the stage and take the stage in the short ariettas and duets that are found in that act.

But a matter of 2 steps can make a huge difference when the tenor is suddenly ending up singing his love duet upstage because YOU forgot to take 2 steps Down Left for him to turn and admire you.

I got another comment on being an "intelligent actress" today. In a good way- knowing what to do, what to motivate it to do--and then in a way as if to say- now we both know what you want to do, so just let it happen and don't "do" anything anymore.
I am sure I have a tendency in such a small space to want to do more with the "music". To motivate it, and decide on the moments where it motivates me and make them very strong.

But because it's such a "precious" playing area, it's reading a bit too strong. So I have to give up those thoughts and just go with what motivates me in the moment- not having the thought that I "KNOW" what that chord means and therefore I'll have a certain reaction or action.

I will take that comment well, as the director has repeatedly said that in our strange cast A/B situation he knows that once he sees me do it, it's convincing, and I have it, he is not worried about having to repeat it because he knows I'll find the right way anyway.

Cool.

In mild annoyances of the day, I can't sleep in general because I keep thinking about the time constraints of travel next week.
And what will happen if I don't make it.

Back to the roadblock. It's just very BUSY in that little 8x8 box and I feel like I'm thinking more about where I'm supposed to end up, than what my next line is.
I know, it's just one day after we staged it, but I still usually feel more comfortable about it than I do right now.

It'll be fine though.

lucky thing #1

Just found out the schedule is changing for next week and I indeed will NOT be in rehearsal until 5:30 and trying to make a 6:34 airplane.
Rather, I'll be having my cast's run through in the am.

ONE DOWN!!
ONE TO GO!
Need to make that NYC sedan drive like a bat out of hell to get to Kennedy on time AFTER my audition next week!
Pretty please please please.
:)

In other inspiring things o' the day,
the NYT article on acting and opera had a great line in it describing how Ali approached his fights- he never said he was going to beat someone, he was just going to sting them, and fly like a butterfly- etc- so much confidence and belief in what he was about that he just had to do what he did.

That is such a powerful approach I think- very much like the Mojo or the "F-U" approaches that are often discussed on NFCS to deal with stage fright, anxiety, nerves, and just power over others in your performance.

Having above average anxiety and nervousness about the upcoming performance since I get one shot, it's the biggest thing I will have ever sung and done in my singing career so far, and I KNOW that I can and will be great- but still have continuous butteflies in my stomach about it, reading that calmed me down for a second.

I DO know that I can do this. This is what I DO!
So just get out there and do it.
The best you can.
Oh I sound like a sad sad slogan.

Back to the coachings and rehearsals.
After today we will have staged the ENTIRE opera!
Yeaahhh!
Only 40 more pages and then I DIE of FLOWER poison on a small bed in a hidden shack in forest!

test run

Did a test run to the airport yesterday. Let's say rehearsal actually ends on time next week, and I am able to leave at 5:31. I made it through rush hour WITH most of the red lights in 26 minutes. That gives me 48 minutes to get through security and to the gate without the plane leaving without me. YEA!
I will DEFINITELY be on that plane!
Wooo Hooo!
One crazy plane ride accounted for.

Next I have to make my 45 minute connection, get to NY, sleep, kick ass at the audition at a too-early in the am time, and make the other plane FROM NYC back here! Well- we'll just hope that all works out.

more craziness

Ok.

Stress with travel.
Next week.
Have an audition.
In NOT this city.
Have to get from Here to airport-here in THIRTY minutes (in rush hour). Have to make first flight connection in 45 minutes. It usually takes 20 minutes with NO traffic. (13 miles)

Have to get from THERE to airport-there in THIRTY minutes (THERE being NYC- lower west side, and airport-there being Kennedy)..Oh lord please tell me it's possible at 10am with the fastest cab or car driver ever!!!

Have to get TO these flights, NOT be late, NOT freak out AND sing like the damn angels the day before, day of audition, and day of audition after flight back to HERE.

If I have ANY luck/pull/beshert/karma/etc this will all go smoothly and I will LAUGH about it on March 23rd after it's all over (and I kicked ass at the audition).

numb

I just had a coaching with the entire right side of my face and tongue numb. It went pretty well considering when I warmed up with lip trills I couldn't tell if my side was trilling along!

I decided to sing through Act III and work on the high floats in the "death aria(s)", and also work on line in those same arias and slow recit sections.

Rehearsal starts in an hour,but I may take a quick nap because waking up early, freaking out about needles and drills, and almost passing out when said needles were IN my mouth and I could FEEL as first my gum, then half tongue, then whole tongue and side got numb made me tired!

They take your blood pressure at this office before any procedures and mine was incredibly low this morning (I chalk it up to having just woken up). But as soon as that needle came into view my heart was racing.

Ouchie.

headache

What will make me feel better right now--- a mint milano cookie or some Advil?
Well, since my advil expired in '05 (oooops- just saw that one on the bottle) I guess mint milano it is!

Had a work-through of Act I today and it went really well. I got a wonderful comment from the director about my acting and how it was organic and coming across really well- which is why he felt comfortable tweaking more and more.

I can't decide if I want to sing through the whole opera every day from now until opening. I have a coaching tomorrow for an hour, and it would be almost-possible to do most of Act I and II. I know I'd feel better if I can just toss this off like anything else and not have to work at it--so maybe tomorrow when I hopefully don't have my headache I'll give it a try and see how long I can keep it up.

In store for tomorrow-- a trip to the DENTIST!!! Booo! To Xray my impacted wisdom teeth and let me know whether I need surgery this summer or not.

Plus, it's at 7:30am- TOTALLY not cool (but the only thing that fits in my schedule).

lakme/dirty pop

LOL.
I came home after an afternoon rehearsal and decided to go through all of my blocking for Act I (which we completed today), and after I did that (listening to Natalie Dessay on my ipod and of course singing along), I went through the rest of the opera (while baking brownies, checking my email and cleaning my room), and as soon as the last note of the opera was over- what is the next song that pops onto my playlist?
Yup, Jtimberlake, my dancin' singing' beat boxin' bfriend- Dirty Pop.

So I've come full circle from French Grand Opera to-- well, this hilarity.

It puts me in SUCH a good mood! If I EVER feel like I'm getting tired or low energy or too technique/acting/voice focused getting through something in the show again all I'm going to have to do is think about singing Dirty Pop as my encore (in my mind!) during the curtain call and everything will be ok in the world.

I kind of want to have a dance party in my apt. right now.
Love it.

a night out

Last night was the first time in a LONG time (longer than I'd like to admit), that I actually went "out" on the "town". Usually- and I know this is MILDLY lame- I just can't take it after a full day of rehearsal. I've given of myself (I know, froo froo artsy fartsy..but it's true) and I just don't have the energy to do anything else except maybe review what I've coached or staged that day, check my email, update blog, read nfcs and other blogs, and then magically it's 1 or 2 am and I should probably go to sleep.

Well, I saw a MOVIE last night! AND walked around downtown! (First day that the weather has permitted walking outside for pleasure since about November 5th).
It was relaxing, albeit strange to be doing something that had nothing to do with music or staging or current-yap.

I had such a nice energy rush that I ended up going to sleep around 3am (not good). It's now 1:11 and I have rehearsal at 2. AND I'm still in bed. AND I'm not warmed up. AND I want to stay here as long as possible---except that I have to "prettify" for the love duet staging in 45 minutes.

Ok, Ok! I'm getting up.

ps- comment spam? I hate you so much. Now you're going to have to type in that stupid code in those boxes that are too blurry half the time to see what the letter or number is anyway!
Take that!

pps- Chicago Opera Theater's season announcement is great. I knew 2 of the 3 through my all-googleous powers, and I hope that I get to see Adams' work at SOME point in life soon!

Is my singing too Google-icious for you babe?

I don't know HOW this happened to me, but as fate would have it, just FOUR days after I officially published my brand new website online, which is www.firstnamelastname.com, I received an email this morning from an acquaintance in Germany.
No, let me rephrase. I emailed this person from the NFCS forum to ask him a question about singing in Germany about 4 months ago. He emailed back. Basta.

SOMEHOW he googled me yesterday, saw my website, heard the clip of Olympia on it, and emailed me immediately because he was just notified that a certain A theater in Germany was auditioning for Olympia over the past 2 days.

He told me to ask current-yap-boss to call or email the KBB of this house, refer THEM to my website, and see what happens!!!

And so, it's done...and completely out of my hands (although never IN my hands) and if my new website can actually sell me to these people, or at least let them know that I exist in this big universe, AND that my Olympia is kick-ass with all of the high G's and on roller-skates or painted gold or whatever--then great!

How fun. I've been online all day due to an amazing non-crashing of the network that I borrow, and I plan to be on it some more tonight.

Tomorrow in staging: The British Airways/Ghirardeli chocolate/Diamond commercial duet music.

staging day one

In this production, we have a certain number of performances. I, as a resident artist, am getting to sing one performance as the leading role. While this is plenty for me, and an amazing opportunity, sometimes double casting situations can pose problems for directors, conductors, and the singers themselves.

Not in terms of competition and such, but in terms of logistics of staging.
I've been in A and B cast situations where A cast does everything, and B cast is pretty much a "cover" cast that sits there and never gets a chance to do it until it's their time to perform onstage.

I've also been in A/B situations where everything is completely equal, EVEN though everyone knows one is the "famous" cast and one is the "young artist" cast.

Well, my case is even stranger, because the "B" cast is just me. Every other role is single-cast (well, there was supposed to be a B cast Gerald as well, but things got complicated..longer story..for later)... so it's just ME who is out of the "rotation".

So either Nilakantha, Mallika and Hadji get to practice stuff over and over and over, or I don't get a chance to try it.
I thought that the situation would be closer to the latter in this case, since I even have a different conductor for my performance.

But after staging day 1 I'm happy to announce that yes, I let cast A do everything first, and yes, they spent more time shaping it and tweaking it,but for every 2 or 2.5 times that they ran a scene, I got to run it once afterwards, WITH notes about what to change the next time and sometimes even re-doing little sections to work on them.

I am really enjoying this director who comes to us from the previous production (he was the AD), and he IS French/Canadian and said that my French was Grrrreat! How awesome!
And those guys up in Canadaland are supposed to be real sticklers for pronounciation especially.

After a day of Indian-flavoured singing, we decided to continue the evening with Indian-flavoured dinner! (A great new vegetarian find with amazing Garlic Naan.....mmmm) and then of course some ice cream to cut the taste.

And now, sweet slumber.
And a costume fitting tomorrow!

back from chi-town

This morning I woke up at 4:45am again, got my butt to Midway, and flew back to current-yap for the first day of Lakme rehearsal.
I looked great, but felt so so so tired. And still do. Which is why I'm in bed right now, hoping to nap for an hour (even though I haaaate naps) before I have a dinner date with a friend of mine from undergrad.

Chicago is always a fun city, and I ALMOST got to meet GP---but due to impending snow and sleet at current-state, I had to go BACK to midway yesterday and attempt to fly out standby for the evening. Turns out- after I got to the airport FIVE hours after arriving there that same morning- that they don't LET you fly standby the day BEFORE your flight! They wanted me to pay full price plus 60 bucks to cancel my ticket to fly out Monday.

So I decided to chance the snow and stay over for the night. It WAS flurrying in chicago this morning, but my flight was not delayed or cancelled and I got back to current-yap state with an hour to spare to gussy up for rehearsal.

The audition.
Not much to say except that it was a long distance audition with a video camera and no one really officiating from a faculty position. At least that's how it felt. I sang well, was asked for 1 full piece and then 2 halves of 2 other pieces. That's really it. I felt like I had a great rapport OFF-screen- that is, they turned the camera off in between my pieces- and that's when they talked to me and I talked to them and really was myself. But alas, that will not be on the recording which the faculty judges from and will decide whether to invite me for the live final auditions.

Basta.
Tired.

chicago, performance, snow

Ok, in backwards order:

It's still snowing- a lot. Snow is SO much more fun when you have big white and pink fluffy snowboots, and I do!

We had a run-through this morning of the program for tomorrow night. I woke up feeling not so great and felt like I had to mark because otherwise I'd be straining and would feel the effects the next day.
Happily, though, I found that while I was marking my singing, I was not marking my performance. It's been really intimate working with our director on this, especially the Zerbinetta aria, and to get the kind of feedback that I have gotten is really rewarding, because I feel that I have put equally hard work into shaping this character onstage in such a short time.

And finally, even though it's only two days away, I haven't really thought much about my upcoming audition in Chicago on Monday.

I'll be flying in, as usual- extremely early, singing around noon, and flying out VERY early the next day to make it back for the first musical run-through of Lakme here.

My thoughts on auditioning for an "educational" type of program- even though this one is marketed as a young artist program, with a school name to back it up:
Well frankly, browsing through their current singers, it seems as if this particular place is a "holding pen" for talent, that releases its students as frequently as they get any kind of work, as long as the students have one or two roles in their operas each year.
There are many upcoming-big-named singers already here as 2nd, 3rd and 4th year "students", but from their own websites and resumes, most of those singers also seem to be working consistently in other productions throughout the year.

So of course if I were given the opportunity to join a place like this, while I wouldn't jumpat going back to school, I would also hope that my current and possible future engagements would be looked upon favorably outside of the program, and I'd be allowed to continue to pursue my normal, mainstage audition season and performances throughout my tenure there.

snow delay!!!

Opening scenes evening is cancelled tomorrow because of the massive snowstorm that is making its way across our city.
Now we have to wait until Saturday night to put up what I think (after all of my doubts due to few musical rehearsals and staging time) will be a very strong and even fun program!

Nothing else to do but bake banana bread and stay warm and snug with my current boyfriend- the internet (since the real one is so far away), and thursday night tv which I haven't had a chance to watch since I think I made time for it in high school! (But that was when Friends was on thursday nights--and then will and grace--and you just couldn't miss those shows and remain cool in high school).