may be deleted

Ok, I'm going to be really cautious in what I'm about to write.
This will not be a rant.
This is not a "sore loser" kind of statement.

I will just say that today I, and some of my colleagues and bosses, heard a range of singing that is best described as ranging from brilliant to questionable, and it just so happened that more than a few questionable performances got rewarded by this particular region with encouragement, "best voice type" prizes, and even 1st through Nth place of the competition.

My personal performance: The best recording I've ever gotten of Lakme- first cadenza really shone, and spot-on coloratura, and a pretty darn good Durch Zartlichkeit as well- although I've sung that one better in auditions.

I can't really talk about other performances, lest it be too easy to figure out who I am, where I sang, who else sang, etc.

All I can say is that yet again it is proven to me that this business is so much about "who you know".

ie- if a judge just happens to be your coach/director, or if another judge has accompanied you at your school, or if another judge is YOUR previous teacher---are these not conflicts of interest and shouldn't they be addressed? We all know where we went to school- we're all about the same age give or take 5-7 years and it's not that tough to figure out that when one of the judges walks up to a winner afterwards with big hugs and congrats and see you in class---that doesn't make all the unknown singers feel good. When a judge is giving comments and knows that you're sick because he heard you last week in NYC and hopes you get better soon---again, not helpful to those people who the judge HASN"T heard- well or sick. EVEN though I absolutely believe that the judges can be completely fair, it's inherently not fair to judge someone who you have heard before and whose potential and current work you are familiar with against someone who you're hearing for 10 minutes for the first time.

And finally, regarding "encouragement".
What are the criteria for encouragement?
Because today they "encouraged":
consistent pitch problems in a whole cabaletta of a piece-entire phrases and pages sung sharp, inappropriate repertoire choices (dramatic soprano followed by soubrette aria), uneven tone and what seemed to be "2" distinct unconnected voices (chest and middle), and non-acting so you don't sacrifice tone.

Now, as far as the winners who are moving on to NYC:
A very talented singer who I am proud to share the stage with, and a very talented lady who I had the pleasure of hearing for the first time today.


Good luck to them.


Oh yes, let's not forget my comments.
They were all over the page today and absolutely at odds, which makes it hard to take any of them to coaches or work on regarding my future performances or auditions.

French: Great, couldn't understand it.
Acting: Amazing, so involved, not enough, too much.
Voice: Great high notes, accurate, not great high note, connect your middle voice to your high note, love your silvery high notes.

It was a long day, followed by yet another performance. I'll be so glad when I'm flying back here on Tuesday morning after the last competition I'll have for about a month.

oh, yea, and---

The Met regionals are tomorrow.

Have I even had time to THINK about this? Coach it since before the districts?

Ha.. Ha..

NOPE!


But I'll get out my pretty purple dress anyway and do my best.

Basta.
Have to clean my room, do my laundry, and have food that is not Chinese takout in my fridge before my parents (oh, yes have I mentioned that?) arrive tonight. They wanted to come see the world premiere and happened to pick the weekend I'll be singing in the competition.

under pressure

The past week and a half has been really pressure-filled for me- with things that mostly I can't control:
Will the plane arrive on time? Will the car make it to the airport on time? Will I find a parking space before my call to the theater in 5 minutes? Will my audition go well (well, I can control that- but not so much evidently, after a flight on the same day).

We have been assigned to put together (on top of the world premiere and the next opera where I'm singing one of the leads) a scenes program, where I'll be singing all of Zerbie in the "Opera" act of Ariadne.

What a musical assignment like this means to me:
Awesome! Strauss. Love it. Learned it. Now to take it in to a Strauss expert and pianist to really get it under my skin before staging begins.

Where it is right now: Awesome! Strauss. Love it. Learned it.

Yes, I can always sing my part when the crazy piano and other ensemble members aren't around, but it takes some time to gel things like this together, and with what has been going on at the opera and current-program and benefit concerts, valentine's day donor concerts, auditions an hour before curtain for VIPs to the opera, leaving town, coming back to town, and coachings on everything EXCEPT this scene, all of the members of the scene feel extreeeemely behind at this point. And when are the performances?
Ah, yes- upcoming. 15 days.

And how many days to actual rehearsal time to we have until then? 6. Why?
Monday- dark day. Tues/Wed/Thurs- yes. Friday- director of scenes is out of town. Next monday- dark day. Tues/Wed/Thurs- yes. Friday- the show.

Ok. 6 days. Now then. How much scheduling time within those 6 days will we have to get musical rehearsals to put both ensembles and the aria together? And how many hours will we have for just staging? Oh yea, I'm also in ANOTHER scene that needs just as much time for both!

So you can see why maaaybe..just maaaybe- all of us would be jumpy about trying to get rehearsals for this and the performance on its feet.

I'm still loking at the schedule for other things too- I've marked in all of these auditions that I'd like to do---but I can't even begin to finish the applications or mark off where and when I want to audition.

All of them involve one day turnaround flights to NY and Chicago for different things.
I won't be released for most of them except one, and some are in different cities on the same day. I know I'm going to have to sit down SOON (ie, before these deadlines of probably sometime around this weekend!) and really figure out what I can miss and what I can't.

My official days off for the next two months are:
2/26 and 3/5.
The short of it:
school-from-last-year-that-wanted-me wants to hear me the week of the 26th. They have offered the 28th as a possible alternative to me not being able to make their live auditions.
Do I tell them I have the 26th available- fly in sunday, sing monday morning, and fly back here monday night? For an added 500 bucks to a place that will PROBABLY take me, but that I don't want to go to...and may not accept that I've been offered certain-role to sing HERE next year that conflicts with their school year?

Or save the money? And increase the heartache when I don't have the option anymore next year?

And on the 5th:
Other-school (ok, academy) that I'm interested in applying for- live auditions in city-i'd-love-to-live-in (a short flight either way..can be done same day)
OR do I go ahead with my original plan to try to audition for 2nd-most-well-known-house-of-opera in NYC? (and also spend 500 bucks getting there, back and staying over again)?

I just need to breathe. I can handle pressure when it's my own and I can be on task and get things done. But when so many things hang in the balance and I have no say- that's when I get tense, can't sleep, and feel like I have no control over my life and the situation.

It's not really the music. I can put that together and memorize it and it will be fine. Better than fine. It's everything else that's going on and the vortex into which all of my breath is spiraling.

Whew.

no audition

Due to the severe blizzard conditions in certain-city-I'd-love-to-live-in, they are not able to come hear us today, and may not even make the show tonight...so the audition is cancelled. Boo.

So is Thursday's audition for another agent--- Boo.


But I will find out in the next few days the "feedback" from the head of the big auditions that I just did in NY. Yay.

And now back to redesigning my website.
And by redesigning, I mean emailing the guy who is designing it what I like and don't like and want to change. I tried to do it myself but I'm really just too slow at html and havne't learned dreamweaver... so- if I'm getting my name dot com and free hosting with no ads and a great design, it's worth the money for me.

technology and singing

It's scary that I can be online all day and be organizing and paying for my life at the same time.
Bills, Paypal for things I don't need, booking flights to NYC, designing a new website...all of these things are one by one being "submitted" through paypal and my credit card and do I realize it? Well, not until I get the statement of course.

Thank GOODNESS that for now I do know that I have enough money to spend on these things..which in SOME respects I do need (ie, new awesome website, flights to NYC for auditions).

Other things I did online: write thank you emails to the people that have been hearing me for the past few days! I know, the debate between handwritten and email is always there. My opinion: write a thank you email, asking for feedback. IF they write a feedback email, THANK THEM for EVERYTHING with a handwritten note.

Today. Met with an agent over lunch who has been very helpful in these past few weeks of insanity. Are we doing the "dance"? I don't really know. I'm not looking for a "courtship". It's weird. I was asked who else I was singing for, what my plans were...without really an offer or promise for anything, except a clear approval of the direction I was heading.

What would an agent mean to me: Well, THIS season I'm sure pretty much nothing. All materials have been sent already, people have been cast. Now, in NOVEMBER an agent would mean the world to me. It would mean that I'd get to livein NYC for 2 months, and hopefully audition zillions of times as a "first-timer" on a roster, and set up jobs for 2009 and beyond.

I THINK that I can try to do this on my own for next year--well, I mean, I have one thing. It's a good thing. I CAN go back to previous-yap as a mainstage artist (if I want) but in many ways that would be step down on the resume...as much as I'd love to go and premiere a new role that I'll use in my repertoire again.

So what else can I do for myself on my own? Well, hopefully get feedback from the auditions I did this weekend, MAYBE get a lucky break with one of the small companies whose directors I konow (although one is completely cast as I've just received an email)...and just wait and see if anything happens in Germany. Maybe do the Berlin NYIOPS and see what happens there as well.

The waiting game. Even managed singers have to do it.

Tomorrow: BIG audition for BIG important YAP in a city I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE to move to. (GP this means you if you're reading).

Thursday: possible auditions for a few more agents if they are in town for their artists.

Big days...long waits...hope things turn out well.

yes, I just got out of bed

It's almost 5pm.
I did wake up early (ish), but I have not been able to get out of bed all day from sheer exhaustion.

That's a good thing I think. Maybe by tomorrow's beginning of crazy weekly schedule I'll feel rested enough and not just riding on the tail end of this nasty bug I've had for 2 weeks.

Opening night. So much energy. Really great time. I think this opera will catch on.

Pre-opening night audition- Sang Durch and O luce. I think I did really well but the panel was sucking the air out of the room, frankly. When they were debating about the 2nd piece Lakme crossed the lips of two, but then the other 2 wanted O luce. Too bad, because I really haven't been feeling O luce.
Reason they picked it: So they could hear me do the recit well.
What I did well: The aria, not really the recit. The recit for me is NOT the important part of this aria. Some people make it so much about the bella voce italianate drawn out thing. But it's NOT lucia, it's O LuCE! So get over it. I can sing the recit. how I feel it- like a teenage girl freaked out about her bf not showing up for their date after she snuck out of the house.

Aaaanyway, I sang the high G at the end, and apparently the comment to the next singer who walked in the door was something like "is she bleeding"...

I know I sang and acted it well, but I think o luce is one of those pieces...that people are "testing" you on something, and if they don't get it, they may not be satisfied.

I did act the shit out of everything though.

What is it with un-smiley panels lately? I mean, why are you THERE? If you didn't want to hear us, then why agree to come hear us?
Even if this isn't the most enjoyable performance of your life, would it kill you to smile a bit or to at least follow what we're doing in the room without playing with your blackberry?
Crazy. Annoying. Can't control it.

NONE of these people are going to hire us all on the spot. It's just not going to happen. So in the meantime, we get that you're doing us a huge favor by listening to us. Now howbout not look so unhappy about it?

audition,show,audition, show...etc

Ok.
Wireless works, I'm back in current-yap-state, and over the past 24 hours I have gotten very little sleep, flown very many hours, warmed up outside, in a hotel room with the blowdryer on to muffle the sound, and into a pillow.

The update:
Thursday's singing for formerly-important-person who ran a very-important-YAP and also the director of equal-footing-YAP to where I am now. I sang durch and they asked for 2nd verse of doll (after being a bit over the top about how much they didn't want to hear glitter. I get it people. If you hate the aria don't choose it- that's why I give you six on the list. sheesh!). So. I was tired and not well warmed up and my throat was still hurting from all of that amazing coughing I've been doing for 2 weeks.
BUT. I sang "well". Nothing was out of pitch. They weren't looking at me so I didn't have to "act" much (love that- when the blackberry is more important than you are)...

Whatever. These people are in no position to hire me anytime soon or even ever.

BUUUUT THEEEEENNNNN---
I slept for an hour, woke up at 4am, got on a plane to NYC, landed, slept a bit in the hotel, showered, warmed up and then sang for the NYIOPs. I know, I know...there is so much bashing on nfcs of these things. The money, the lack of higher level houses, whatever...
It was my first time singing for them, and they're casting an Abduction and an Ariadne. And those are the two pieces of mine that I ended up singing!!!!

I paid, I was unmanaged, I sang really well, I DON"T absolutely HATE DiCapo. If anything, it's just dry in there. Acoustics never really bug me.

I got good feedback from agent/friend 1 and 2 who were there to a. hear me for the first time after kinda kinda talking, and b. hear me again with an almost always open offer for representation if I wanted to get started that way.

So. Good things. I will be in touch with the houses, write thank you notes (probably emails) and not expect to hear anything..but still- I'm really glad I went.

Also- got a haircut in NY (yay layers), and thinking about cutting it all that short (to the shortest layer) after the show here (maybe next time I'm in NY- in a week and a half).

Also- got to see my special someone. He took a day off to meet me in NY, and is at the moment flying to California for a vascular cell biology retreat...or something like that for researchers---basically they get to look at each others' posters and also play beach volleyball all week.

Today:
(Oh yes, it's not over yet)
It's 1:43 right now. Rest until 2:30. Warm up.
3:50- leave for the theater with my audition clothes.
5- audition!!! For 2 more agents and one OC (opera company)
7:30- CURTAIN for opening night.

Crazy. Tired.
This life rocks.

scratch that

Make that one day to get better.
VIPs in town for the show this weekend have decided that tomorrow would be a good day to begin to hear the resident artists.
Woo! Hope I feel a LOT better by 5pm tomorrow!
So these next three days will by the aria-opera marathon.

Audition, Dress rehearsal, crack o' dawn flight, audition, crack o' dawn flight, audition, opening night.

Crazy.

proving it

Had a great coaching yesterday on Act I. Finally felt like I "proved" myself to this coach who previously had constructive and not-so-constructive criticism. But I think it's now going to be great. I was really into it though, too. I mean, acting in my coaching, but not acting just to act- acting because the music and text actually made me feel it. It felt really really good. And now of course since I wasn't 100% better, I'm not feeling really really good.

I suppose I'll have to revert to the theraflu and oj, but I still have this lingering cough and congestion all over that just makes it harder to phonate sometimes.

TWO days to get well!

In other ivy-league-school-news, I sent an email saying that I cannot be released for the live audition, and they came back with two other dates before then for me to sing on. Well- they ARE both impossible..but ONE of them isn't- ONLY if I get into the finals of a competition that I'm being released for the week before. Ok, I know that made no sense,but in my head it did.

Here is the deal. I think that they are trying to get me out there no matter what because of teacher-that-wants-to-work-with-me, but my problem is...I don't feel like I can be the one to say "this isn't going to work out this year with my current schedule and with next year's schedule". But who is to say that "next year's schedule" will have ANYTHING on it besides ONE show through Sept.30th? And THAT show would be the reason that I can't go to this school (obviously) because the semester begins earlier.

But WOULD I want to go to this school? Ahhh.. It's a really not good situation.
I don't know if they would say "we can't let you in without a live audition" to me, or if I should say "this isn't going to work for me this year" and just drop it at that or say that I am trying to make other plans to go to Europe or something.

Still it would be SO nice to have a safety- something that I could count on for next year---even if it is school.

There is so much involved.


In other not fun non-release-from-work news, the big audition for big-german-opera-company-and-scholarship that I'm trying to be released for in March may not happen. It's the day of the "meet the artists" in the cast for my upcoming show, but ALSO they day for MY CAST to run it musically. The thing is, my cast is all resident artists-- I mean, could we not do this on any other day? Well, that's what our stage manager/scheduler suggested in an email to the higher powers, but if those higher powers say no, I'm in a crappy crappy situation.
The application is due this week and it costs forty bucks to send!!!

I hope someone emails me back about the final word soon.
Today.

still sniffling

I've had just about enough of this. But the cold nasty part is over. Now are the lovely remnants of what is traveling down my throat.

I'm attempting to get ready for my auditions this Friday.

On the table for my six:
Durch, Zerb, Queen, Doll, Lakme and Norina.

No English. That's ok- they all know I speak English, and THEY'RE not American anyway.

I'm adding queen this time because it's supposedly the most requested aria in Germany IF you have it on your list.
Ok then. I do.

I'm going to start with Durch because I love it, and then we'll see.

What would I sub in and out if I'm just not feeling it? Glitter I suppose.


In other need-to-send-application-out news,
Getting another German-place audition ready. I hope I can be released for the audition.

Oh yes, and I just emailed school-from-last-year regarding the impossibility of my making their audition dates due to our scenes performances here.
I know it will make them mad and it's just not cool, but there is no way I can spend 500 MORE dollars doing another same-day turnaround flight to sing on a Sunday (if they'll even hear me then...or on a day off or something). I asked to be considered by my audition last year and my tape last year.
If teacher-who-liked-me-and-wanted-me-at-the-program gets upset it really just isn't my fault.
I mean, what happened last year was their mistake, and I'm just caught in the middle of having this 'great offer' (for school, though)....and not even being able to be considered for it because I'm having this 'great career'...hahahahah.

I also emailed homeland-opera regarding auditioning for them in May- and I have chosen a date at random (well, and considering any other competitions that are in town then), to say that I'll travel to homeland and audition there!
Hope they haven't cast their seasons by then, but then again, it's a different world out there.

Oh what fun it is to play the will-I-have-a-gig-in-2008 game.

remedies

I broke down and finally bought cold meds today after feeling worse this morning.
Usually this doesn't happen. I just drink tons of water and juice and eat soup and all is well.
But it's now day 6 and this cough has traveled far enough into my chest to do something about it.

so: 6pm- robitussin dm, go to rehearsal. Have a Cold-Eze sucker and then some Halls pectin suckers the whole time.
9:30pm- one of the cast members gave me a super duper cold fighter that's #1 in canada called ColdFx. It's ginseng (not the asian kind) and I'm supposed to take it like a Zpack- 3 a day 3 times a day, 2 a day and then 1 a day for 3 days.
We'll see if it works.

And now I'm working on some theraflu before bed (which will be a Vicks Vaporrub party all over my PJs).

WebMD says that for all of my symptoms (which included a fever tonight- yuck!), theraflu is supposed to hit all of them...but it has so much acetamenophin in it! 650mg! Isn't one tablet 50? That's all I usually take.

Weird. Well I'm drinking it anyway.
Tomorrow we move into the theater.
So I'll be cold(er) and far(ther) away from tea, water, and my BED for the next week until opening.

Gross! (machtige Prinzessin) Part deux

For three weeks I've been told that certain-upcoming-performance will include ONLY certain-commedia-dell'arte-scene, and certain-really-long-aria. NOT the ending duet/sextet which is about 35 more pages of music (the first four following the aria being the most excruciating Strauss I've had to look at in a long time).
Not anymore! Yep, we're doing all of it. When? One month from today. Off book? YEP. Stagings/table readings begin in 2 weeks.
Aaahhhhhh!!!!
So in the middle of this still-horrid cold, my schedule tomorrow (which has been almost EMPTY for weeeeeeks) is: 1 hour scene coaching. 1 hour scene coaching (another coach). 1 hour Lakme coaching.

Oh. My.

Umm, and will I know the scene by my scene coaching tomorrow?
Well, that is what the next 6 hours are good for!

Me today at the piano for thirty minutes on 6 bars of music:

One ee and uh, twooooo...and uh (tri- pe- let) (rest) AND.

WHAT?
Plus German.
Plus what KEY are you in Strauss? Come ON now! Stop writing accidentals in the piano part and not the vocal part!!!


Of course what else is there to do but procrastinate by writing this entry?
ha.
Ok, off to work. Really. Unless I take a nap, have some tea, or have some dinner first.

conclusion of the day:

It's SO much better to blow your nose into tissues than into toilet paper.

Other conclusions of the day:
I think that I'm going to approach current-yap and ask them to make calls or send an introductory email on my behalf to two or three "area"- meaning- nearby STATE- opera houses that otherwise MAY ignore an unsolicited email from me.
Approaching this subject and figuring out whom to ask to do this is proving a bit more difficult (a. because I'm still in bed and will be all of tomorrow I think too, and b. because it's a delicate situation).

Other conclusions of blogger:
When they say that the beta version is gone and they are going to make your website cool and "navigatable" (my word), they really MEAN that it's going to be cool, but a different color than you originally had it.

settled and sick

The sick part:
I'm home today with a throat that feels like it's burning a hole in my neck.
Last night I felt a bit scratchy. I went to sleep late (but no later than the normal 1am-2am hour), had tons of water and an Emergen-C. Woke up at 4 w/pain on one side and when swallowing. Woke up at 7 with pain on both sides and when swallowing.
I looked at the back of my throat w/a bright light and can't see anything but a bit more red than usual- at least no craziness being coughed up. But it's so dry and ouchie!
I'm not quite sure what to do since usually sore throats for me start either from a cough or from congestion that travels down, and then I know I have a cold or allergies or something.
This random throat thing-not so fun.

And while I "could" vocalize if necessary (ie, push through it)...it's feeling scary and thin to do anything right now.

I have the day off tomorrow as well, so if this doesn't get any better after tons of water and tea I may have to do something real about it.

The settled part:
The insanity is over and no, it wasn't for an opera gig. So no congrats---yet--- although all of the commotion could at some point LEAD to a singing job. I hope.

Wireless is out on my side of the building again (I should get one of those network extenders- I wonder if they work on networks that aren't your own!!)
So I'm in the hallway in my first 5 minute foray outside of my bed for the day...yea, it's 3:40.

MAN! I'm so sick of this bed thing. Plus I have no food left. Gotta get out at some point.

super secret super stressed day

Ok.
I can't divulge anything that went on today. I will just post for posterity that between the hours of 8am and 4pm Central Time I was the most stressed and unhinged about my future career that I've been in a long time.
And it actually had nothing to do with me really- it was about other people.
Stepping on people's toes, having more than one person work for you at the same time, trying to PREVENT that from occuring, making sure I don't hurt anyone's feelings or more importantly, blow some possible future connection and contact for myself by offending someone, sending emails back and forth at rapidfire speeds, telephone calls here and abroad.

It's settled now (hopefully--one more call abroad tomorrow), and all I have to do is show up and sing pretty.

BASTA.
I did not even get a chance to eat anything until 4:30today.

changes part deux

Have been on the internet nonstop for the past 24 hours pretty much.
Emailed 2 "contacts" (agents) who have been helping me in terms of guiding my career for the pst year...not signing me, just guiding me.
They both think that Europe may be best for me for next year.

The issue with Europe, as stated in the post below- is that I don't like "not having a plan".
I don't want to go be a starving artist for 6 months, teach English, and ooops, suddenly a year goes by, I have no resume credits to add, and I'm right where I began, with thousands less in the bank.

So- how do I get hired in to sing in 2008 in a place where I have NO contacts and also cannot physically go to audition until May 14th?
Well, that's the answer I'm searching for online, and hoping that these agent "friends" can help me with as well.

The NYIOPS. I now officially have ONE day to go do them in NYC if I want. In 2.5 weeks. UNfortunately, I do NOT have a day off to do the "preliminary" round that is required of all (all meaning, all who don't have agents calling on their behalf and paying less of a fee) singers to do.
Would one of my "friends" (agents) call on my behalf?
Well, that has yet to be discussed. But I would of course jump at the chance to do them and possibly have a ROLE to go there for..and not just a dream.

ch...ch...changes

Okay, it's official now (well, it's still unofficial but at least I know).

Next year's season has officially changed. It has changed to include two shows which I would have no roles or covers in. It has changed FROM two shows which I would have leading roles in.
And therefore, the verdict from current-yap is, that although they love me, believe in me, want me to succeed, etc....there is ONE role for me to do there next season and nothing else.

Therefore---

The good/awesome news: I will be performing as a PRINCIPAL artist for one show next year (making about half of my YEARLY salary here)
The not so awesome news: I will not be returning as a resident artist for the rest of the next season.

What does this mean? Well, frankly it means that I get to start being an unmanaged singer without a plan a bit earlier than I thought...since I pretty much skipped out on mainstage audition season this year because I assumed (the season as it previously stood) that I'd have three awesome roles here next year.

What do I feel?
Really excited. Really anxious. A bit let down/sad. But mostly just absolutely in gear to find something great to do and DO it.

My choices:
1. SMALL opera companies (US) that have not announced/cast their season for next year. Try to get relased to do as many of these small auditions as possible and see if I can fill my 07-08 year with performances around current-yaps "principal" offer.

2. EuRoPe!!! My dream, my love, my longing... I've always always always wanted to do it. Somehow I know I'll succeed. They do my kind of music, my kind of roles...I have the right look, the right voice, half the right language skills and now- the TIME and OPPORTUNITY to go there and just try it out.
What I'm scared about for Europe: It wouldbe going without a "plan". And I like "plans". What do I mean? Every year I've had a fallback that is feasible WITH roles feasible- ie, if I wasn't getting into current-yap I could stay at last-year-yap. If I wasn't getting into last-year-yap I would have stayed at undergrad-town and had three small roles with local-opera-company...
etc.
Moving to Germany and just "trying it" with no contacts, no other plan-- is a little TOO loose for my generally strict plan-making self.

3. That school-that-shall-not-be-named still wants me. For a performance degree. Not even a DMA...for 2 years. For free:
IF:
a. I am released for the live auditions (UNLIKELY since current-yap's opera scenes are that weekend...NOT COOL)
b. IF they miraculously accept me whether I attend the live audition or not, AND let me come late because of principal-offer taking until Sept.30th of their first semester.

4. TWO programs with deadlines that have not passed yet:
AVA (just took a first-year coloratura last year...eh)
Washington national opera (same)

So.
Amazing opportunities to be made for myself. With a LOT of work involved in making them.
And with no internet from my house (AGAIN!!!!), I'll be at the opera center printing out every application under the sun this week I'm sure.

And that is the very big news of the day.

checking out

I just came back from a coaching on the scene from Ariadne that we'll be presenting in a month. It's the quintet right before the aria, and then the aria (Zerbie's).

The coaching was great.
I love getting really really specific with things. I definitely got called out on some sub-par translations of phrases (yea, and I've been singing this aria for a few years now!! Crazy- I really thought I had it down). We looked more in depth and at tempo markings and basically all other markings on the page besides the notes (which is sometimes that LAST thing you think about when you're trying to get through Strauss and the German).

And then we got to the issue of commitment v. checking out while singing.
I've gotten this comment from this coach a few times in a few different arias. He feels that because it's so "easy" vocally for me, and text-wise, diction..ie- I've done my homework-- that I sometimes just "coast". And it's not bad, but it's just
not as good as it could be if I invested and committed more to what I was saying, singing, etc.

So while I could be more dramatic and deliver the lines, more often I just rely on the voice to do what it does best, and although it is impressive, it may still leave something to be desired.

I received that comment today, worked on some lines, re-sang them, and then all of a sudden when I was pretty much thinking about nothing except keeping ONE thought going- ie- "I'm cute and flirty and can't make Ariadne mad" he stopped me after a phrase and said, yes- that was it.

What is it about half zoning out, or not thinking about the words as they go by, but thinking of a larger concept- that sometimes gets people to believe I'm "acting" or "committed" to the pieces?
And then on the other hand, in some of my other pieces when I am absolutely thinking about "making" the word that comes next actually occur because of my acting, THAT is equally as committed- and I'm working hard with the words and music.

AHHHH!
It's frustrating. Also, because it's a coaching (and I know I shouldn't say or think this) sometimes I DO leave the "drama" aside because I want to concentrate on the coaching of the music-diction-phrase- everything technical that is separated from the drama.
But that is soo soo soo wrong..I know. I don't mean to do it- I just know that I don't commit as much in a musical coaching as I would onstage.
Does everyone really- I mean really- with every vocalise, every minute in the practice room, coaching- really commit? Dramatically? and Vocally? ALL the time?

This is tough. It's not really being lazy. I think it's just coming into the coaching with a different energy about what needs to be done..and that is detrimental- because what I end up doing is compartmentalizing the voice and the acting and the musicality and the diction and the interpretation into different drawers and yes, although they can be all opened at the same time, it's very easy for me to just rummage through the T-shirts and forget about the sock drawer.

So what do I feel about that coaching?
I do good things. I sing well. I "impressed"- or showed that I could do it, I was working on it, I have ideas...there is a glimmer of what could come in the future with this..
but...
but....

Also, I don't know really how to approach my stage of development either. Am I a professional artist who is working side by side with a colleague? Or am I a 'student' who should still have that "teach me everything you know" mentality from the authority figure?

All things to think about.
I'm tired.

heeeeere's Johnny!

I'm back! The internet wireless network that I've been borrowing is miraculously and magically restored after two weeks down. And here I was, at 10:30am just rearing to get out of bed, begin my day, warm up, get ready for my coachings...and now I shall stay in my warm comfy bed for at least another hour reading all of my newspapers, blogs, checking email every 5 seconds, and doing what I do best.

So- the long of it all:
I just received an email from the MONCA dir. after emailing her my rep saying the following:
From past experiences at this competition I highly recommend that you don't include glitter and be gay on your list and do include O luce.

uhhh, what?
Who are you? And how do you know? And what could be BAD about having that on there except for the fact that if the panel hates it they WON"T pick it?!!!

Or do they hate it and WILL pick it because they know the audience hates it and they want to make them suffer as well?
wtheck?

Weird. I don't know what to think now. About why she would say that.


Next.
As I read more and more about the NYIOPS (and more and more about their increasing fee) I am really just tempted to do them..not because of the increasing fee.
The thing is..
if these companies really ARE looking for full casts of Ariadne and Abduction- then I actually have a chance.
Now, I don't think I can be released from here to attend the upcoming ones which do advertise for those two operas, ---although do NOT have a fest soprano position open---I still keep my eye on them from time to time.
I just think Europe=fun. It's beautiful, it's the multiculturalism that I love, it's the challenge of language, it's the challenge of being somewhere new, fitting in, making it work, and succeeding.

In the back of my mind I've always wanted to just go try out Germany. And these NYIOPS seems like a good excuse to put a feeler out there (at least with 6 or 7 companies) to see what happens or if they are impressed.

Next.
In the day of emails when people are so easy to get in touch with after googling their place of work and finding their address, I find it surprising that people do not write back to emails.
I mean, yes, you're "above me". You just judged me. Or I just sent you some materials after making a personal connection with you.
But- really.
a. You have a school email. I found it in the school's online directory for faculty. I'm sure your students email you all the time and you actually check it. Why not write back thanks?

b. You're a very important and very busy person who runs an entire opera company. A week later your assistant writes me that they'll get you the message? Ok, that's a BIT more acceptable- at least it's a response.

c. I just spoke with you on the phone about my materials..and at THIS school people even have their own name for the email system and it's been written up in the NYtimes as one of the most technologically email-communication connected campuses. And you don't have time to say I got your email?

d. Surprisingly, the person who I thought would be MOST busy and LEAST likely to write me back- did so in the next 10 minutes after I sent the email. And that was just an email notifying them of my continued candidacy for their summer program plus the competition news...that they did not have to respond to at all!!!!


I know, I know. People are busy.
But "netiquette" still stands. If you received the same message in a phone call I think you would call back.



I'm so excited about the internet right now.
fin

wireless in the hallway

Yes, I'm back in the hallway of my apt. building.
Still no wireless. I'm calling them tomorrow to install it asap. This has gone too long.

The short post version of news:

Nothing much going on, have coachings tomorrow on Lakme and Ariadne, still haven't heard about next year, got some weird letter from the MONCA regional people about how if I am a winner and can't make the semifinals or the finals I have to give back all of the money (district and regional). NOT cool cuz ---not saying this will happen at ALL this year--- but even if I did, the final is on the same day as my perf. of Lakme.

Eh, not to worry at all. So much time until then, so little do I really care about it since I'm booked for the finals anyway.
Oh yea, they ask for replist changes.
I've decided to take out a whole language.

O luce will NEVER be picked after I begin with Lakme, so why bother even having it on there?
Instead I'm offering my 2 Germans- Durch and Zerbie- one short, Mozart, line, the other (if they choose it from any section)- could be short, show line or coloratura, and be fun.
And Glitter. Because that's just fun for competitions.
and Doll because maybe they'll want to hear the 2nd verse of it,(although I don't know why after French Lakme).
And it's fun, and there's a G, and I lurv it.

from the place where the magic happens

Bonjour from the opera center.
My wireless internet is still down (although if I walk halfway down the hallway I can pick up new signals for free...but when I did that in my fuzzy slippers and PJs the other day I didn't get such appreciative looks from neighbors coming home after a hard day's work), so I'm writing from "work".

It hasn't really been "work" lately because the current project involves me singing mostly ensemble and some small small parts...which means basically that I"m only called to rehearsals every other evening. And I'll have maaaybe a coaching every day or other day.

So that leaves time. And what do I do with time? What I do best- waste it (mostly)- with some productivity on the side.
But without the internet, what ever could I do to occupy myself- you may ask?

Well, there's doing laundry, going shopping for healthy food, developing 150 pictures from my cruise, putting them in a photo album, not cleaning my room, not putting that newly clean laundry away in my room, keeping the tv on even though there are NO good shows in the afternoon, filling out competition applications..

wait, a short tangent- WHY do you make me SEEK OUT 8.5x14.5 paper to print out your application? REALLY? I mean, REALLY? YOu couldn't read my handwriting if this were a 2 page application and printed out on NORMAL paper?
/end tangent.

Deciding what to sing for competitions is a bit easier now that I've had success with the lakme once.
I also had the BEST coaching ever on it yesterday.

One of those one's where all of my BS was called out (well, it wasn't bs it was just doing what comes easily and not really getting the most musicality possible out of things like runs and effect, etc)...and I am all the better for it.

The first cadenza? Now totally shaped. I don't rush through the tripelets just because it's "easier and more natural" for me to sing them on the fast side, The run at the end means something, the four descending lines right before the end have shape...it's just great when you get that kind of feedback...
not- no, this is horrible...but -
why are you choosing to do this? why just show off the voice because you can? why don't you choose to make it musical and also show off the voice- taking more time with things?
YES. Thank you. Because...yes...it's "harder" to do it this way, but it makes so much more sense with the character, the flow of the piece, the "mood" as it were.

So. Lakme is not the same anymore.
She is more grown up. Taking more risks. And sounding all the prettier for it.
All thanks to an hour with a great great coach.


I don't know how long this no wireless thing is going to last. I may just call up comcast and sign up for it (again), after cancelling it after 2 months when I had it back in September.
Until then, ciao from the "OC".

the real update

I'm in Panera (again, not still).
Listening to my recording from yesterday afternoon (the competition). They were nice enough to make us real backstage line-in recordings-- instead of having us ask friends to hold our minidisc recorders on their lap in the back row to try and get a decent recording.

My thoughts:

PIECE 1

First cadenza- no, no, no.
You can hear that I'm nervous. I am a bit under pitch each time I come back up to the E or D and that leads the whole thing to sag just a bit. Accompanist rushed the end of it for me. Seems like a mistake on my part, but really his.
AND I don't USUALLY fall flat on that. This time. I did.

Ugh. Not the best it's been. High note descend- awesome though.

First verse. Good. Pacing much better. French- duh- good.
Nothing is under. It's right on. Good phrasing.

First coloratura- on.

A1 slow part- good phrasing kinda. I could have been a tad more musically nice with the like

A2 slow part- equally good. These are the 2 sections I always feel like I either energize, or don't. And this time I did.

Second coloratura- (dang the pianist was rushing me!) good though. awesome end cadenza between this and Verse 2.

Verse 2- good French. it's better at this faster pace. The d's and e's are a TAD bit under. Because of my lack of breath control/support? Nerves? Or just the "norm"- passagio issues?

Oooh- that held D. GOOD! It's usually a bit under (in my ears).

Third Coloratura- ooh, first note- rocky. Under.
Piano Speed! This is too fast.
Coloratura is accurate but could have sounded less CRAZY if the accompanist had actually taken the tempo I had asked him before walking out onstage.

Last few notes:
On- ooh, those F's and D's are nice and not under.

Last NOTE- yup. I had it.



PIECE 2:
I'm having more fun with this because I LIKE it better and am more comfortable with it since I've sung it at more auditions and with more coaches.
I'm pushing umm, a bit? Because I'm excited about this and want to "act" it more I think.
It's not too much but it's having an effect on my sound. Not as clear as I was in Piece1.
Coloratura- YEA baby.
ON.

Coloratura- Damn that was good.

high note after coloratura- SWEEEEET.

Ooh, that breath was totally in the wrong place...but since no one knows when coloraturas are supposed to breathe in that passage anyway it doesn't matter! hahaha!!

Final "ah" cadenza- kinda exciting :) !


Ok, that was my first-listen breakdown.

Can you guess which pieces they were? mwahahaha.

Here are the judges comments which I remember.
1. You were the only person who didn't push or oversing. You sang with your own voice.
2. You have a crystalline voice, clear, silvery, it cuts well, keep doing what you're doing and never push.
3. Work on A through F. When you get lazy we notice it in the passagio in the form of notes just a bit under (how true). Work more not on the notes but on the support and overall line and that should take care of it.
4. Very good. You won so those are my only comments. Keep doing what you're doing.
5. For me, piece 2 sounded a bit more nasal in some lower passagio areas.
6. Excellent job, lovely voice, keep doing just what you did. Nothing more nothing less.
7. Sing for us sometime! (uhh, hellooooo?!!! You just rejected me, but thanks anyway!!!!)

Overall comment by all judges:
Your stage deportment, acting, commitment to character, balance onstage and body language and movement was excellent. It seems like you've done this before and you're a pro at it. Perfectly balanced. Lovely head position. Strong intentions...etc.

So- even though I have no set "moves" for these pieces, what I did seemed to work and it came off like I knew what I was doing and was commited to it.
Maybe commited to it is the key word. Even though I was just working with whatever came to mind, I was fully ALL over it and into it. That is when art works the best for me.
Not thinking about what I have "prepared" in terms of "moves", voice, etc.- but just doing what comes because of the art, music, language, etc. etc...(insert deep thoughts by me).


OK then!
Really, truthfully, I am going to write here that I did NOT listen to other singers (except the first three) live in the theater, so I can't really make a decision based on what I've heard if I "deserve" this. For me, this was NOT the best of performances.
I felt that although Piece1 improved as soon as the opening cadenza was over, it was not the strongest it's ever been. Exciting yes, fast yes, but I've sung it better. Mostly always.

And piece 2, while extremely vocally impressive, and while I'm sure I acted it extremely well and that came across, again- piano-vocal pacing issues, and some pitch issues (not SO noticeable, but enough for me to think that this isn't going SO well) really made me feel after I finished that- ok, I did well, but it's not good enough to move on to the Regionals.

And then my name was called.
And that was really exciting :)

So. I'm thankful for the opportunity to move on to the next level. I'm thankful for the feedback. I'm thankful for the opportunity to perform one of the arias that I'll be singing as a role in the next few months.
I'm just thankful that this is FUN.
Nerve-wracking, crazy, annoying, competitive, hard, yes....but also FUN! When you believe in yourself and someone else does too.
And no, this is not career-making or career-breaking.

It's what it is.
A competition. Not a role, not an audition, not a concert.

So now (I think) I know and believe (whether fair or not) that there are certain competition "winners" (pieces, people, attitudes, up-tempos) that just get it.

So this time it was me. I got it. And I'm thankful for that and for what it was.

MIA

Ok, I guess those three posts on the 10th will have to make up for my INEXCUSABLE online absence.
A. The wireless network I freeload off of has not worked since last thursday. NOT COOL.
B. I drove to NEBRASKA for the MONCAs this weekend, almost didn't make it back here last night (finally got in at 3am), and thus had a few important things on my mind for the weekend.

The update later to come, but outcome = great. I'll be singing at the Regionals in February.

I hope that Jay of "Jay's Network" (which I borrow!) will soon restart his computer or something-- because otherwise it doesn't look like I'll be having internet in my apt. anytime soon.

The weird thing is (after doing a network diagnostic and attempting to decode other people's passwords with "Internet", "Comcast", their name backwards, and other various normal passwords for lazy people), is that the network is up, and everything works up until "Internet" and "Web Page".

So- this has never happened before.
If you know how to fix it without being in charge of your own internet (I'm assuming you have to restart the internet conection or something like that..even though it's "working") please- do tell.

More to come. I promise.
Well, if I have wireless and I'm NOT sitting in a PANERA using their free system and eating my breakfast (bagel) at 3:48pm.

third post in 24 hours..

I know, I know.
But it's worth it just because I'm laughing out loud right now...
Bravo.
Turn your tv on.
The Grease Academy search???

Yes. That is all I have to say.
In addition to actually seeing clips for the musical, you get to see people crash and burn as Rizzo, Sandy and Danny!!!

Oh the horror! But I'm glued to it!

stupid minisic player

aaarrrgghhhhh.
Note to self: This is my fault, not the minidisc as stated above in the title.

The last time I used my MDplayer was probably to record (not legally) my Doll Song from one of the mainstage shows.
Ok, so that was Novmber.

WHAT made me think that I wouldn't have to recharge the battery before my Met coaching today and that it would still work?

What???

Well, it recorded the first 55 seconds of each of 5 arias.
And I think that only happened because I didn't leave it on continuously--- I kept pressing stop and start record after each piece.

BOOO!!!!
But I did sound ok for the first 55 seconds times five pieces.

TMI

There is a small chance that I'll somehow regret posting this at some point, but here it goes.

CS, or Certain Someone in my life, who is far away from me currently and is studying to be, among other things, a medical doctor, tomorrow has his first patient experience with---well---being that doctor that girls go to.

I think it's kind of funny, and really weird at the same time.
I mean, to be a student still, and not really an obgyn or doctor (yet!), and have to go to a clinic with other med students and "practice"...
ok, I warned you about the TMI factor here!

We joked about it tonight on the phone. And I told him to be NICE! (He will be). It is NOT a fun place to be when you're a chick.


ON TO NON-INVASIVE TMI news.

We still don't know our fate. It's not on the schedule for tomorrow either.
But what I DO have tomorrow is a coaching for the upcoming Met audtions.
What to sing?
I am still not sure, and thankfully I can change my mind and my replists (as long as I have 5 copies) until the day I get there.

I've never started with Lakme, but of ALL of my arias, I think that it is the most "coloratura acceptable but not too long".
I aways think about this because it always comes up with competitions and auditions.

Zerbinetta is the best thing I do right now. Too long for everything. I shall offer it, cut up into little pieces, as always, if they want to pick it 2nd.

O luce- O annoying.
Doll- not a competition winner, but the way I sing it, it "could" be, but still, not as technically and fireworks exciting as Lakme.
Norina- No.
Glitter- Hell no.
(Mind you, I LOVE all of these pieces, but panels most certainly do not).
Chacun- again, with the added notes- awesome, but this is really a soubrette/llc piece for most other sopranos. Short and sweet, but ...NO.
Queen- only if there are no other queens that day, and NO for a starter.

But here is what I think my list will be:
Lakme, O luce, Glitter, Zerbie, Durch Z

I will start with Lakme and they will hear DurchZ.

Or if they are AWESOME they will ask for part of Zerbinetta.

But most likely DurchZ because
a. it's Mozart line
b. it's short
c. it's another language
d. have I mentioned it's short?
e. O luce is pretty much Lakme plus a page of recit, Glitter is lakme plus two verses of lyric singing, zerbie is 12 minutes of insanity, and that leaves DurchZ.

The one thing that may change in this is actually Lakme.
If I'm not feeling it that day, I may not start with it.
In which case- I really don't KNOW what I'll start with actually!!!

Would I throw the doll in there and offer it from the 2nd verse like I did last year? Perhaps.
Would I throw chacun? start with Durch Z so they pick a coloratura piece next?
Ah, decisions decisions.

Must go to bed to wake up for yoga class in less than 8 hours.

coolrunning

Today in near-freezing weather while the snow was lightly falling in flurries around me, I took my first step to training for...a really really small marathon.
Yes, I'm following a website called coolrunning.com to first work up to 5k (even though I could "run" it now- very slowly and with power walking involved for when I get horrible cramps which happen every time I run) and then eventually a half marathon...maybe.

We'll see how long this lasts. Probably as long as the weather doesn't ice the streets over.

Now, I hate running. Hate.
I was never a fast "mile" runner in my gym classes in high school. MAYBE 8-9 minutes. And while I could do sprints, that never interested me either. It was just kind of boring. Outside, inside on treadmills or tracks- boring.
I liked sports. Hated training for them though!

But I'm doing something as a change.
And I think I'll actually pull this one off.

The first day (although an easy 20minute walk/jog) is supposed to be the hardest. And truthfully, while I was winded and freezing after 30 minutes, it really wasn't that bad.
And even though you're only supposed to do this every other day, I may try to build it up earlier and faster and do 30 minutes a day.
Hey, being in the freezing cold and wheezing isn't half bad when you're trying to make sure that you still have Lakme lyrics memorized and when you have new music running through your head, in addition to numbers.
Numbers help me run.
I could to 5 twice on one hand, while keeping track of tens with the other hand.
60 seconds running, 30 seconds jogging. And so on.
The time actually passed without me wanting to turn around and just quit the whole thing.

And that's all for today.
No musical musings. No angst about next year.
Just satisfaction at doing something good for not just my voice or career.

tra la la ...la, la, la, la

Donor concert went really well tonight.
I had to sing 4 pieces and schmooze and I think I made a good impression...so hopefully if my fate is still in the hands of the few, I have continued to make good strides toward being asked back and being contracted for that specific role for next year.

It's pathetic that it's 9:30 and I'm so tired.

Well, not really...since I've been in rehearsal since 10am, with one hour of a break the whole day for lunch. No dinner. Straight through to the donor event, finger foods and half a glass of white wine.

Sleepy time for me!

rumors

No news for today except that supposedly decisions have been made about next year..and...we should find out about them next week.

What I SHOULD be concentrating on:
Tomorrow we have a donor concert to sing for where I've been asked to sing one of the arias from next season's show. It's one that I know but have never offered or really coached or worked on to perfection. I just learned it a long time ago, can pull it off, etc. The role is one that I would want or think that I'd be considered here for next year and today it kind of dawned on me that ..umm..yea, I should try to kick some ass with it tomorrow night.

So instead of looking up summer programs, doing the Dollar to Euro math in my mind, seeing how much a month in Germany may cost, I should be...
figuring out how to sing and perform the best I can!

Finally something positive to think about today- and it was realized at 11:30pm.

breathe in, breathe out

So many things.
First, this is my 201st post. Well, it's really more than 201 since my first 20 or so posts were imported all in one day in a large cut and paste operation, but still. Woo hoo.

Second.
Went back to yoga class today. It was awesome after 2 months off. I REALLY REALLY need to figure out how I'm going to do more exercise in these freezing months of winter in current-state of current-yap. I can't go outside anymore. It's too cold to even warm the car up to go to a gym. There is a treadmill in the building next door that I can use and a few free weights, and the bike machine. MAYBE I'll come up with some sort of plan... maybe. Ha.

Third.
Had first staging rehearsal for world premiere opera with famous american contemporary composer of famous "great american" novel. It's going to be really awesome.
LONG, but awesome.

Fourth.
Don't remember what rep. I sent to MONCA for the competition, so I have to bring like 3 lists to the thing and it's in a week and a day. Yikes. Don't know what I want to start with, OR what I want to have on my list.

Fifth.
I think I've decided against pulling the string of idea mentioned below.
I think that no matter what happens here next year, I will gain things this summer if I pursue competitions, language immersion, travel, and actually have the summer. To do learning of my own, and not 4 semi-costumed, staged scenes with piano- plus a cover...maybe.
Have until tomorrow to make the final decision.

Sixth and related but wish it was unrelated- I wish I knew what was going on here next year.
I feel good about why they took me, and what I've done so far to show them that I continue to do good work here.
I feel like there is a definite role for me in one of the operas next year and it's a good role to have under my belt.
I feel like- why would they replace me with another coloratura? If anything, would they just not want a coloratura for next year? Is THAT what I'm up against, or is it another person? or is it budget?
I just don't have any idea of what may happen, and I am not confident that the verbal discussion when I was accepted last year will translate into a contract for me or any other singer here this year.


bla.

and that, my friend, is Closure!

Finally received word about last-summer-yap today. I'm "officially" on the waitlist, but head of last-summer-yap handwrote a note to me saying that it was a pleasure to hear me, keep up the good work, and sing for them again next year.
All of which I"M taking to mean--- this was the most polite way of letting me down easy-- although I DO know singers from last year who just plain got rejection letters! I'm just glad that I can stop waiting around for a letter now.

So. One more program left to hear from.

But there is a new development that I've been thinking about.

Yap-from-2-yrs-ago.
I did really good work for them. I continue to have a good relationship with the artistic administrator. I know that someone last year "pulled a string" and was accepted because something fell through and they had nothing to do at the last minute, so they joined the young artists there for the summer.

Now, it's not that what I had fell through. I did not apply to Yap-from-2-yrs-ago because it takes place at a certain time in the summer when I am usually not in this country, and visiting my family elsewhere.
I rescinded my application to them last year for this purpose, and did not apply to them this year for this purpose.

HOWEVER. They ARE doing something where ONE role cover would be really relevant for me.

The question is- do I lightly pull the string and see what happens?

The larger question is, yet again, WHY do I feel the NEED to pull the string?
To return to a place I've already been (wouldn't really be making any new contacts), add ONE cover to my resume from a medium-high level program?
If indeed there are PLENTY of singers out there who are not doing summer programs, why do I feel this need to get into one and somehow prove something?

Ok, here is the deal I'm making with myself right now.
Current-yap is supposed to tell me SOON if I'm going to be here next year.
IF I'm here, WHY do I care about summer Yaps?
I should NOT do something for the summer, precisely because I'll have lines on my resume through 2008 if I'm here next year already, and no one will care to see if I did a Yap in the summer or not.

IF I'm here next year, why don't I spend this summer trying to commit to my personal relationships, my best friend's wedding (seriously!), a language immersion course that I've been meaning to take for years, and traveling to see my family across the world?
Oh yea, and doing all of those singing competitions that take place in May and June and trying to win some MULAH!?

Ok.
Deal.

I hope I find out if I'm here next year soon.

the year in review---ish

I feel web-pressured to write some kind of summation about the year that has just ended, and my thoughts on the upcoming year. On the plane to current-yap someone left the entire NYTimes, and it was kind of fun to not have to read the newspaper online every day- and also have enough time to sit and read all of the editorials about the new year, Saddam, etc.

Well- last year at this time I was still "on break" from previous-Yap/School program. But I was memorizing the German for Flute (Queen and Spirit), trying to pick out the song cycles for my Master's Recital (and in the process getting so bored and preoccupied with just about everything else that I moved LJ to blogger and began posting almost daily), waiting to hear whether I had gotten into any YAP for the next year (I already heard from Summer-Yap), and pretty much in a place in my career where I was feeling good vocally, feeling challenged musically and artistically, having time to investigate new music as well as music that I needed to learn for performance, and felt pretty sure that I was taken care of for next year, one way or another (whether that was staying at previous-Yap or moving onto another degree program or current-yap).

The summer for me was blissful. Every summer program has been- despite the ups and downs of every program I've participated in. I am at a place for 8 to 10 weeks where everything is art. No school, no rent check, no TA duties, no real life. We're in this little bubble in the middle of nowhere and all you can do is sink or swim in proving to the company that they made a good choice in hiring you and investing in you for the summer.
I saw how others approach their craft vocally and dramatically. I saw the type of singer that I wanted and did not want to become. I saw the type of friend and person that I wanted and did not want to become.

It was freeing to only live with the music of that day or week.
To know that my schedule would be decided upon at 10pm the night before, and look forward to rehearsals for chorus, coachings, classes, and little free time for anything else.

And then the big move to current-yap and current-state. Across the country, far from everything and everyone I know, but still worth it for the art and opportunity.

This past week on vacation was the first time a few members of my family detected some sadness/resentment in my tone when discussing my career and what is coming up next.
Always the realist, I know that even though I have a great opportunity right now, this year, this season...it may not mean anything in terms of the future. And that is something that I realize more and more as an unmanaged and young singer who has made it past the stage of post-grad-trying-for-a-residency-program. Or post-grad-choosing-a-big-city-and-trying-to-"make-it".

That there is no security in this business.

That singing here this year may mean that in 4 or 5 years I'll be asked back to do one show a season---which would be great IF it happened. But still not enough for a full-time career, and certainly difficult if I'm not living in this city and have started a family, etc.

That singing here this year is another line, two lines, on my resume, but only proves to agents, audition panels, or even this company, that I'm good on paper. And they'll still hear X number of singers exactly like me who may sing better, act better, look the part, or interest them more at a live audition.

That said, however, I do have a strong belief in my talent and know that I have the drive to continue making this a career for myself.

What I don't have is the exact vision of what that career could be.
I've always written about "paths" that one could take in this career. Actually, last december in my favorite posts on the B.o.S, business of singing, I wrote about all of the great opportunities you can make for yourself in high school, undergrad, grad, what to do about young artist programs...a veritable how-to of the path to get to where I am.
And now I'm in this murky unmanaged-but-in-a-program area. Where I MAY have security next year (I'll find out this month), but even if I do, I'll have to seriously take audition season by storm next year...because year 3 here is not necessarily a given.

And what about my personal life?
It's been a hard year or two out of 4 these past two years. We're working. We want it to work. But the realization of life, career, future, does not always coincide with the opportunities that you either can or can't make for yourself in terms of location, job, security.

When I think about the future, the top two things that come to mind are my relationship and my career--and how separate but equal they are.
And what challenges that means I face in terms of career location possibilities, and even auditioning for those opportunities.

I think about happiness. The kind that I have when I feel like another person completes me. The kind that I get when I feel artistically satisfied when preparing, performing, and reflecting on a completed performance.
They are not similar. Both can be completely calm and also completely overwhelming. In their own ways of course, and usually not at the same time.

I think that I can write little resolutions like instead of watching law and order until 2am every night, don't turn the tv on and learn new music instead.
Or, throw out all of that candy and chocolate that you've gotten from the last 2 operas you've been in so you don't EAT it.
Or, eat healthier foods and drink more water.
Or--- anything that I've written about sarcastically for the past year and a half in this blog...
But really, those things aren't resolutions. They are a part of life that is a reflection of my state of being.
Am I happy? Well, if not- here's some chocolate and vegging out with tv to numb a void.

So the resolution is to try to be happy. I was really happy in my relationship for 9 hours yesterday in New York City ringing in the New Year.

I came back to a snow-covered car with no gloves or scraper, but I was happy trying to get the snow off with my bare hands to go buy healthy food at the store.
I am happy now that I'm back in my room, surrounded by music (that I have to learn by 3pm tomorrow), and that I'm going to have my routine back for the next 5 months, with excitement and normalcy and more excitement.

I am happy that I may spend this summer (still waiting for outcomes of last-summer-yap and 2 others, but barring any Yes's) doing what I WANT. Which is traveling halfway around the world (twice, in different directions each time), becoming fluent in another language, and spending time with people that I love.

almost home

Hello from JFK's wireless network!

It's really really really early- for a post-new year's eve celebration post.
New Year's Eve with favorite boy in the world was very fun. We walked all around NYC since the weather was not very cold at all, we even visited the mega apple store (which was packed at 11pm), we saw all of the tourists lining up to watch the ball drop all over the city, and we rang in the new year without much pomp or circumstance- on the street as it started to drizzle lightly at midnight.

I'm on the first flight back to current-yap even though we don't have rehearsal today. I pretty much have to learn, umm, a LOT of new music before tomorrow at 7pm.

My vacation/cruise/family reunion was....interesting.... cruises are (as of this one) not really my thing. EXCEPT for the karaoke nights and the "Princess Pop Idol" contests!!! (Let's just say I won a bottle of VERY nice champagne for my vocal-cord busting versions of Hero, All by Myself, At Last, and You're So Vain). The Island stops were fun, the beaches were great, but it was all a little too touristy and "planned" out for me. I'd rather just be able to explore one place over the course of a few days- instead of leave the boat at 8am and be back by 4.


At any rate, I'm a bit less pale, a bit more relaxed, and I'm ready to face the next 5 months with no break.

Back to the music as of this afternoon.

so long, farewell...

See ya in the New Year!
It's time for family reunion 06-07- all aboard!!!

Happy New Year! (Which as of three minutes ago will be spent in NYC with my boy...yaaaay for cheap hotels even on New Years Eve! and yaaaay for cancelling tickets on Orbitz and still having a year to redeem some percentage of the original ticket that I had and have no changed to be able to fly back to current-yap on New Year's Day!)

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is no news still good news?

The POBox has failed to deliver my summer fate as of today at 3:32pm. It has, however, delivered the 2nd half of the lovely competition check which I won way back this summer, and whose earnings I shall promptly divide between my scottrade stock accounts, my RothIRA during tax season, and my college loan payback bills which continue to roll in every month....only twenty eight thousand dollars away from being debt free!!! HA.

I wish I could just win a huge amount of money and pay them off. It would feel awesome. But I think it would also feel kind of weird- I mean, really- if I received 30,000 dollars and sent it ALL to my college debt, JUST to NOT have debt? I could have some really nice pretty things or go places, or have SAVINGS or invest it and try to make more and THEN pay off the loans. Yes, I think that would be more prudent--- pay off the monthly while investing the rest hoping to make more than my interest rate on those loans.

Enough financial talk. I'll leave that to me myself and H&RBlock guy this year ...although I am contemplating doing my taxes by myself this year. It's just the three state thing that could confuse me and the multiple residencies, etc.

Back to the POBox last-summer-yap issue.
Nfcs posters have said:
a. there is still one person (or more) that has not heard anything either way (one was there last year, one wasn't)
b. someone (who was in the program last year) JUST heard today-- no. By mail.

Does that mean I have to extend my waiting period even longer? I was really all set to call tomorrow and see what the deal was.

Well, tomorrow is the last day I can check my mail, email or phone messages before 2007! Yes, it's true. I'll be completely cut off from the world (unless the cruise ship has internet, wireless, and cell reception--in which case- Waaa Hooo!) because next week I'm going on a family reunion vacation. I shall bring Lakme and my ipod of course. But I'll be more interested in going ATVing in the rainforest canopy, hiking up to waterfalls, taking yoga classes on board, relaxing on the lido deck, and eating like we all do when the food is free!

Oh I got plenty o' nuttin'

Still no word from the US Postal service, although I do revel at their speed in delivering:

a. forwarded mail from first-yap to current yap address (particularly grad school letters already asking me to donate money as an alum).

b. forwarded mail from current-yap to current-location address (just for one and a half months, and JUST by name --since my roomate is having hers delivered to HER home in another midwest state) (particularly college loan bills and Opera news)


Have spent too much time at the computer today and yesterday.
Today I'm gathering performance pics and assorted headshots of me to decide which one should be the "first" pic on the new website, and which ones will make the cut to the "photos" page on the website.

And at the same time I have received too many myspace and facebook invites over the past month to NOT update some kind of profile on both of those sites (which I belong to but do not update ever...until today--because I use friendster the most), so I've added friends, added photos, and attempted to make it seem like my social networks have more than 27 friends in them.

I only have two more days at current-address before our extended family reunion vacation during Xmas week.
Hope I get that letter soon!
See ya at the Galleria.

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Everything

A. I haven't read this much about La Scala since I was actually living 20 minutes away from the hallowed house (the season that it was closing for renovations) and studying Italian and music there. I don't have much to add about the controversy/low blood sugar/booers/firing/possible re-hiring/third cover in jeans, but I will say that it's been fun reading new blogs like Operachic, and old blogs that are all commenting about the hullabaloo.

B. Since I wasn't home for the weekend, no forwarded mail check yet. Last-year-yap and I might be on a 'break' as of tomorrow's POBox news.

C. I think I just took the first step toward developing a professional website (not one that I wrote the html to and laid out on yahoo.com, but one that is developed and designed by a person whose job it is to do so). Well, at least paying for one.

D. Have been procrastinating at writing out happy holiday cards to--just about everyone this year...especially the "thank you for hearing me/this is what I'm up to/remember me/can you hire me in a few years/btw Merry Xmas cards. Are emails completely inappropriate for this? Arrghhh..I haven't handwritten anything in such a long time.

E. Thinking more seriously about a business plan that I may be starting as a service for singers. Not consulting like Cindy S. necessarily- I don't really need to comment on the voice. But from the business side, I do have know-how and experience, this I have been told and know. And I enjoy it. Coming up with a 5 year plan and backup plan and backup backup plan for auditions, tours, self promotion, grantwriting, resume, bio, reviews, cover letter writing, etc.
Basically everything you can do for YOURSELF until you are at the point where you may be ready for management, or are already getting repeatedly asked to work in places enough to make a career out of it.

I need a catchy name for it though. And then to plan that website as well.

That's all for now.

no word from...Tom? Dick? Harry?

Last-year-yap, what is up?
I sang a pretty good audition for you.
You pretty much asked me to notify you if I was getting ANOTHER offer during the week, and then when I said that I like your season you said, "it's not like there are any coloratura parts this summer". (you were being sarcastic)
And I did NOT get another offer during the week, so I did NOT call you.
But you haven't called me.
And you DID call four other singers that I know and offer them a position in one of your tiers.
So now you get to know what's going through my mind.

Monday (when I found out three other people got in): Ok, well maybe since you know me and you want me in the higher tier, you'll call tomorrow.

Tuesday (when I found out the fourth person got in to the lower tier): Ok, well that's a bit weird.Hmm, Ok, well maybe you heard a really good soubrette/coloratura and I'm not it this year. Sad. Tomorrow is the last chance. Maybe you're really busy and you know you want me but don't have time to call me.

Wednesday: Wait, wait- no- could you have forgotten that you kinda told me that you wanted me this year? I mean, people are posting on nfcs that they got into the lower tier, but none that they got into the higher tier--is there ANY reason why you wouldn't call the higher tier people this week? I know, there are tons of coloratura sops out there. Is it because I didn't come in with one of the two arias prepared that I could be up for this season with you? And some other soprano did? And it was better? That's totally fine- but I mean, I really thought you liked me last year, and you KNOW from asking me at my audition that there were only a few places I'm singing for..and...well, are you at least going to email to say 'not this year' or what?

Thursday: Ok, it's sad but I guess I'm not in. You don't want me because...ummm.. ok, well maybe my audition wasn't the best it could have been. But you weren't realllly looking at my acting. You were writing a lot. And I was doing GOOD acting so that you could see that I've improved and that I could cover the role that I want to cover this summer with you! Ok, so maybe you didn't see that, AND thought that I vocally didn't improve, AND heard someone better. I know you don't owe me anything...I get it, but it's still just kind of sad that even you said this season would have been great for me...and then nothing.

Friday: (morning):
I'm assuming no.
(afternoon nap):
I had a nightmare today about meeting you, my current-yap director, and my HIGH SCHOOL PRINCIPAL and you all were joking around about how I'm assuming I'm getting hired back at all these places and then jokingly you say that I'm not...and Mr. Beavers (high school principal) just looks at me and shakes his head in dismay. Now I'm kind of annoyed. Because my mail is being forwarded from current-yap to parents-house, neither of which locations I'm at right now.
I contemplated calling you today, but is it worth speaking to one of two admins who I'm friends with and finding out that I'm not in when the letter has already been sent and I'll receive it in four days?
(evening/now):
Or is there STILL really a chance that you are just assuming that I KNOW that I'm in because I DIDN"T call you, and that magically there will be some sort of acceptance or contract or call that comes in the next months?

Trust me, I've googled, and no soprano is listing You-2007-higher-tier on her resume or website yet. I get that you could have called someone else, I just find it REALLY weird that NO ONE on my favorite forum has posted that they are in the higher-tier. But then I'd find it REALLY weird that you haven't called those people that you want in the higher-tier either.


So last-year-yap, what am I supposed to think?
We seem to have some communication problems and because you aren't emotionally available to me, I have been forced to overthink, read into, and overcompensate for our relationship!!!
Call me!

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A year too old...

Wow, for all of the "I'm not 29 and managed" posts that I've delved into over the past months, here's a new one: I'm too old! By one year!!!

Wolf Trap has just announced their "WTOpera Studio" which will target those singers in their last two years of undergrad or first year of grad school.

This sounds exactly like what young singers need. NOT to shell out five thousand dollars and get four weeks of study in Italy and shabbily planned and costumed opera scenes with piano, but instead be PAID to perfect their craft- studying language, diction, movement, acting, getting coached, as well as the opportunity to perform bit parts in the mainstage summer at Wolf Trap.

I will say that I won't be the one to post this on NFCS, although I'm sure it will eventually find its way over there- if only to spare Ms. Witman and her staff the HUGE piles of applications from singers who are both appropriate, and probably past the cutoff experience-wise, school-wise, and age-wise for the program- yet still want a chance to be associated with WTOC for the summer.

More thoughts on this kind of program later, but it's really quite exciting for those who will have the opportunity to participate.

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concert, first-yap land

The concert yesterday went very well. My new dress was very fun to sing in, I said hi to a few friends from undergrad who got to the concert, and then had a nice relaxing evening.
I'm now back in First-Yap territory, visiting teacher and coach and staying at a friend's apartment. She just left for NYC for her last two auditions of the season, so I get to play on her computer, watch tv, talk to her bird (he talks back), and relax for another evening. Two coachings tomorrow and then it's back home for me.
We're both waiting for the ever-looming hour of the evening where we either hear or don't hear from a certain Yap. For me, last-year-yap, for her, new yap. Two people have posted Yes's on the forum. Now the waiting game really begins.
I sang for opera-in-the-kind-of-midwest last week and think I impressed, but it's not really the summer program that I'm interested in- more the mainstage opportunities in the future. So while I'm glad that I made a good impression, and think that I had a nice rapport with the director, and would never HOPE to NOT be chosen for a summer Yap, I hope that I get some sort of letter with encouragement about my career...or something like that..for future maybe.
Ahhh, just mumbling like a lunatic waiting for a phone call.
I'm so distracted.

But I have decided that if I DON"T get this, I'd like to do a German immersion program. Either at Middlebury with the program for singers, or just going to Europe.
Although then I'll be more tempted to study in France since I like Paris the most and would love to just live there for a month or two while taking intensive language courses.
But I think I need German more if eventually I want to sing there.
Which I do.
And my rep. is good for those houses. So is my voice and look.
So- to the future.

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back in undergrad-land

I'm back in Boston for these few days, visiting and performing at my alma mater (one of them), and visiting and coaching and seeing the Fall opera production at my alma mater (the other one).
I had a great coaching on Lakme yesterday with one of my favorite coaches who really helped me understand Zerbinetta as an undergrad about to embark on two and three years of offering Zerb at auditions.
I loved him for that, and I continue to love Strauss because of all of the exploratory work we did on line, chord structures, counterpoint, and how it all fits with the vocal line and emotive goals of text in the Ariadne.

We discussed the ariettas in Lakme a bit (pourquoi, dans la foret, sous le ciel, and tu m'a donne), and how to balance the enunciation of the French with the line that does not take any language into account and is simply a beautiful, languishing melody.

What I think I tend to do most is actually act the French. Which is correct. Well, the method that works for me. I mean, language is the most important. There WILL be cousins of mine at the performance who have lived in France for a number of years, and I want them to understand what I'm singing! But at the expense of the musical line?
Well, no.
Which is why sometimes you have to let the 'lega' take over just a bit more than punching out those "little words" in the text.
And I"m sure by March/April I'll come to a really nice settlement between the two, but for now they are still in a fight.
And French is kicking legato's @ss.

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try to remember...

"Deep in December It's nice to remember
Although you know the snow will follow
Deep in December It's nice to remember
The fire of September that made us mellow
Deep in December our hearts should remember
And follow, follow, follow..."


Remember when it was September and this whole audition madness was just beginning?
And you were excited that you TOO may have the chance to perform in one of the top young artist programs for the summer or next year?
What HAPPENS to singers in December?

Seriously. Reading through my last few posts you'd think I'm manic.
There are these extreme mood swings that can involve the highest belief in yourself and your art and then the lowest self-deprecating and sarcastic remarks about the fact that you haven't gotten "into" something.
And why do we do this to ourselves every year in our twenties, and sometimes into our thirties?

The Resume? The prestige? The contacts? The connections?
Maybe all of the above.
To prove something to ourselves and to others? To distinguish ourselves from others?
Perhaps, also yes.

But-- do we NEED it?

HOW many singers out there are doing JUST fine without having gone to Glimmerglass and Merola (I use these 2 b/c I didn't apply to them!)
HOW many singers concentrate on their own coachings and rep. over the summer, or just keep working and making money, or have year-round careers and just simply take the summer off???

Again, this could be construed as bitter b/c I got "rejected" from somewhere, but no, actually that is not the case (yet! haha)
It's really just something I think about during this month of waiting and watching the nfcs posts about the lucky ones who just found out they got in somewhere, and those still waiting and posting about whether "PFO's" have been sent out yet.

Why is this month so horrible for singers?
Well, it doesn’t help that there are two major “family” holidays and everyone is asking about your career, where you will be next year, and where you will be this summer. “Hey mom, guess what? I just got my fifth rejection email!- Happy Thanksgiving!- pass the cranberry sauce please!”

It also makes you scramble a bit. Some of these programs notify before January, but some don’t, and what of those who are “first alternates”? They play the waiting game until MAY sometimes, to see if they too will be joining something for the summer. Then what? Now what?

I feel like one minute I’m quiet and calm, thinking of happy thoughts of being invited back to “last-year-Yap” (which hasn’t occurred yet), and thinking how GREAT it is. How GOOD I should feel about that- the fact that to get into ANY program on ANY level is an accomplishment already.
And then I’m anxious and moody because I ask myself- well then have I not made any improvement in the past year and is that why I’m not getting into the “top three or four—however you want to categorize them, by prestige/name/or actual summer experience for a singer” Yaps--- OR are they ALSO taking back their coloratura from last year?

Basically if I do get asked back it means that some coloratura who is a year or two behind me is pissed just as much as I am, that some coloratura who is a year or two ahead of me got asked back to HER program, which would have been a “step up” for me.

And is it really about “steps” also? I mean, truthfully, if I DID get into Santa Fe (which I don’t know I haven’t yet, but am pretty sure that I haven’t)—and sang chorus in all of their shows and did nothing except for that one day of singing for all of the famous agents and opera houses--- would my experience be better than “last-year-Yap” inviting me back this year to cover a leading role that I want to learn, AND to sing a leading role and comprimario role mainstage? And actually Add lines to my performance repertoire rather than just a line that says I went to Santa Fe on my resume??? (and I’m NOT saying this is going to happen with “last-year-YAP”, it’s just what I’d HOPE for IF they were even considering me again.)

This back and forth, these ups and downs… Somewhere inside, if we really want this career, we know that we can do it. But these little deterrents like an email from “operaadmin” entitled “your audition for xyz opera” does NOT bode well for the rest of your happiness that day or this whole month.

It’s nice, though, that a FEW companies who hear you will give you feedback. They of course won’t say why they picked another coloratura or if they even picked one, but they’ll comment on your musicality and your performance at the audition. So at least you know what they thought of you. Whether that makes me feel better or not, I’m not quite sure, because they still didn’t hire me.
And then we come full circle to my original musing- do I NEED to be hired for things like this in order to “validate” my career or myself?

Whatever the answer, I’ll still be refreshing my browser on nfcs and hotmail all day.

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have I mentioned...

How much I adore impending rejection?

From NFCS:

Santa Fe has begun emailing young artist offers NT View thread - divajock on Dec 3, 2006, 10:54 PM


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feedback

Just in case I forget or question that this is really what I want to do with my life at some point again in the future- feedback from a recent mainstage audition:

"You have a wonderful performance quality to your auditions that many do not. I was sorry that we don't have an Ariadne scheduled because you would be perfect. You are prepared, you sing very well, you are an engaging actress and your German is darned near perfect."

And here I thought I was having not the best vocal/dramatic day (see post below).


I guess I "brought it" anyway.

And let's get on that Ariadne scheduling! I've been practicing tumbles and dancing WHILE singing the extended 1912 version of Zerbie's aria.

Nothing else to report except that I bought a GORGEOUS dress at BCBG outlet today and am having it tailored (shortened, as always, and it was a bit TOO sexy in the plunge to be acceptable for my upcoming concert, so am getting that tacked up), and it will be ready tomorrow for me to go out again and buy accesories and play with my hair for the rest of the week deciding which style looks best with it!
Ooooh, it's so pretty. It's a deep wine color and pretty much skin tight at the top and then a bit of a flare at the bottom with a sash of satin wine red around a high empire waist, the straps are twisted at the shoulder and as mentioned before the bust PLUNGES, but will be up 2.5 inches as of tomorrow at 10:30am!

130 bucks on sale. And hopefully the tailoring will not be more than 40- alltogether not too harsh a price to pay for a dress that I absolutely adore.

Even if I decide it's on the "trop" sexy side for the concert and end up wearing my backup light blue strapless gown, this dress is coming on my cruise in 3 weeks!

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today in ny

Today may have been the nastiest weather I've ever experienced in New York City---and I'm talking more horrid than snowstorms of last year and the year before, torrential rains of early november, everything.

It rained in the morning and then got really muggy and disgusting. My feeling of general nastiness may have been added to due to the fact that I was lugging my extremely heavy carry -on bag with a week's worth of clothing plus my laptop packed inside it around the city- and ALSO since TWO cabs elected NOT to drive me the ten blocks in "drizzle" with said big bags, so I had to WALK (and sweat) to my lesson and to my callback today, with not so much time as I'd like in between those two events.

Basically by the time I arrived at NOLA and dealing with the dreaded hallway of hell, I was sweating with my jacked just an added bonus for something in my hand to carry in addition to the plastic bags holding nice shoes and boots for later, big black hole bag with music that weighs too much on my shoulder, and extremely heavy carry-on. AHHH!
So, I go into the TINY TINY TINY bathroom where one of the doors on the toilet doesn't work and the other toilet is...unmentionable... and try to change while NOT putting anything that I own anywhere near all of the other germs that have been brought into there by sick singers and general nastiness all week, and having my bare feet not touch the floor (this is an art, btw).

I get ready in time, attempt to fix my makeup which is now affixed to my face with a glistening layer of sweat, try to froof my hair, get the stuck pieces off of my neck, and do a lip trill or two before going into the room.

And then the singing.
Ahhhhhh.
It was still fine. But not as fine as I want it to be.
Durch Z. and Als ein Gott (yea, these people love Ariadne I guess).
The notes were all there.
The artistry? Umm, sure- I made an attempt.
The acting? Yea, but it wasn't organic this time. It was me realizing that I am making this sound good and look good.
So, in summary, good, better than BAD, no mistakes, but not as great as I could be.

Bla.
Now the waiting game begins.
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Comment responses

I just looked for the first time through some old posts and found comments on them, and since they have already been placed on the next 'scrollable' page, I'll answer a few here:

Nyasia:
You can find the English and French opera libretto of Lakme at most larger libraries in a book by Nico Castel called "French Opera Libretti". The original book is called Le Marriage de Loti and I ordered it (in French) online, but there were also English versions on Amazon I believe.

Kim:
If it's the Bubs then yes, they are terrific, fun guys and when we performed with them on-campus it was always a hoot!
Glad there are still fellow a capella junkies out there who are not STILL in college :)

------------------
We now return to our previously scheduled posting:

In about six hours I'll be singing my callback for "red-state-opera", and in about six hours and forty five minutes I will HOPEFULLY be on a train to Albany, to be followed by a 1.5 hour drive home to New-England-State-of-Parental-Residence and then doing laundry, repacking, and leaving for Boston the next day.

Things that are coming up:

A Poulenc Gloria performance at my undergrad.
I've never sung it before, and it's quite beautiful.
One, final, audition in NYC (in the middle of the week in Boston) for, hmm, how shall I hyphenate this one--- "midwest-not-chicago-near-potatoland-opera" for the summer. This one I'm pretty much applying to because of one show and one role that would be fun to learn and cover.

After next weekend and the concert it's pretty much smooth sailing (literally) from there- my family (extended, with cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc) is taking a cruise to the Caribbean for Christmas week, courtesy of my grandparents, who want the family to stick together and make sure that we meet at least once a year since all of our careers and lives are so busy that it's hard to find a time to get together normally.

In the week before it I'll be debating whether to
a. take my Lakme score (obviously a yes)
b. take my laptop (oh how I HOPE there is wireless on the boat--is that even possible???)
c. take one or two other scores that I NEED/was supposed to be looking at and memorizing over this break, which have really not received the attention they should have.

Basta.
I'm staying in bed for a bit more to read the Times and relax, then I'll head down to City Opera to say hello to the boys from "current-Yap" who are holding auditions there this week and next, maybe take that opportunity to use a free warm-up room down there, head back here, pack up my life and clothes and NEW BOOTS into my tiny suitcase, head to a lesson with a teacher from the program I was accepted into last year, but a few weeks too late as I had already signed my current contract...

(it could be a bit strange because I think they still want me(?) this year, but I have not sent in a new application because I do want to continue at "current-Yap" next year, but I don't want to lose the contact of this teacher/director of that program, which IS a good program I think- but it's school...which after being where I am now, I don't think is the best option for me on paper- in terms of getting mainstage with "current-Yap" versus mainstage with "prestigious-school-artist-diploma"program...ALTHOUGH the coaching and teaching is superb and the school would be free AND in an area and coast that I want to be on..)

That may have been the longest statement I've ever written parenthetically.

g