15 December, 2006

no word from...Tom? Dick? Harry?

Last-year-yap, what is up?
I sang a pretty good audition for you.
You pretty much asked me to notify you if I was getting ANOTHER offer during the week, and then when I said that I like your season you said, "it's not like there are any coloratura parts this summer". (you were being sarcastic)
And I did NOT get another offer during the week, so I did NOT call you.
But you haven't called me.
And you DID call four other singers that I know and offer them a position in one of your tiers.
So now you get to know what's going through my mind.

Monday (when I found out three other people got in): Ok, well maybe since you know me and you want me in the higher tier, you'll call tomorrow.

Tuesday (when I found out the fourth person got in to the lower tier): Ok, well that's a bit weird.Hmm, Ok, well maybe you heard a really good soubrette/coloratura and I'm not it this year. Sad. Tomorrow is the last chance. Maybe you're really busy and you know you want me but don't have time to call me.

Wednesday: Wait, wait- no- could you have forgotten that you kinda told me that you wanted me this year? I mean, people are posting on nfcs that they got into the lower tier, but none that they got into the higher tier--is there ANY reason why you wouldn't call the higher tier people this week? I know, there are tons of coloratura sops out there. Is it because I didn't come in with one of the two arias prepared that I could be up for this season with you? And some other soprano did? And it was better? That's totally fine- but I mean, I really thought you liked me last year, and you KNOW from asking me at my audition that there were only a few places I'm singing for..and...well, are you at least going to email to say 'not this year' or what?

Thursday: Ok, it's sad but I guess I'm not in. You don't want me because...ummm.. ok, well maybe my audition wasn't the best it could have been. But you weren't realllly looking at my acting. You were writing a lot. And I was doing GOOD acting so that you could see that I've improved and that I could cover the role that I want to cover this summer with you! Ok, so maybe you didn't see that, AND thought that I vocally didn't improve, AND heard someone better. I know you don't owe me anything...I get it, but it's still just kind of sad that even you said this season would have been great for me...and then nothing.

Friday: (morning):
I'm assuming no.
(afternoon nap):
I had a nightmare today about meeting you, my current-yap director, and my HIGH SCHOOL PRINCIPAL and you all were joking around about how I'm assuming I'm getting hired back at all these places and then jokingly you say that I'm not...and Mr. Beavers (high school principal) just looks at me and shakes his head in dismay. Now I'm kind of annoyed. Because my mail is being forwarded from current-yap to parents-house, neither of which locations I'm at right now.
I contemplated calling you today, but is it worth speaking to one of two admins who I'm friends with and finding out that I'm not in when the letter has already been sent and I'll receive it in four days?
Or is there STILL really a chance that you are just assuming that I KNOW that I'm in because I DIDN"T call you, and that magically there will be some sort of acceptance or contract or call that comes in the next months?

Trust me, I've googled, and no soprano is listing You-2007-higher-tier on her resume or website yet. I get that you could have called someone else, I just find it REALLY weird that NO ONE on my favorite forum has posted that they are in the higher-tier. But then I'd find it REALLY weird that you haven't called those people that you want in the higher-tier either.

So last-year-yap, what am I supposed to think?
We seem to have some communication problems and because you aren't emotionally available to me, I have been forced to overthink, read into, and overcompensate for our relationship!!!
Call me!



Gregory said...

"...and because you aren't emotionally available to me, I have been forced to overthink, read into, and overcompensate for our relationship!!!
Call me!"

This is brilliant. And so the story of my life on so many levels! I hate you for reading me so brilliantly.

me said...

Ain't that the truth--- just got the forwarded mail today- as of Dec.13th still no letter.