Tonight was the opening night (after a preview night) for our musical review here. It was pouring rain, thundering and lightening, but we pulled in almost a full house at 10:30pm and did a really nice job--and (gasp!) had a lot of fun!
I always wished that I could be NOT the ingenue character in musical theater. I was never Rizzo. Always Sandra D. Maybe it's the look, the high voice, whatever...but it's not the temperment or the lack of a belt!!! This time it was no different- the Bride, the love interest, the love-duets, etc... But when we got to Anything You Can Do and I finally got to rip out that high B and C I felt pretty good about all those musical theater years that I left behind--from listening to Guys and Dolls and Jekyll and Hyde Every day in Highschool, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (and wishing I was the Narrator) in Middle School, and just loving any old time movie musical and theater musical that I could get to.
It's fun, it's easy, and yes, I do remember why I didn't pursue it- dancing!!!!
I never took lessons! I can learn combinations and get it together for a show (with rehearsals and more rehearsals) but I'm not one of those people that know what a sautee something or other is to the left. I actually enjoy it once I know that I know it, but the process of doing something that I KNOW I'm not necessarily good at right off the bat is really challenging and daunting.
It makes me want to take adult ballet and theater dance classes. Maybe after this next move if I have time.
Dance 3? Looks...???
-g
30 July, 2006
26 July, 2006
sausage links
On bel canto:
Legato is achieved how? Vowels? Air? Dynamics? Direction?
What about Portamenti? yes? no? where? why?
I had a Sonnambula coaching today- just because I'm learning the role for my own personal use and hopefully future use as well.
Of course, as usual, when I feel like I'm doing nothing and getting nothing across and not really "singing", that's when the singing happens.
When I try to make a line, it gets to be sausage-y (you know what I'm talking about), I start accenting Italian that shouldn't be accented, bad habits from recordings listened to creep in, and in general, it sounds manufactured.
When will I learn to just say the words and the notes and feel them? Feel that emotion, feel that line, feel the direction, feel myself- as that character- being involved in the story?
Ok, yes, it's difficult to sing about how fast my heart is beating for a fourth verse in a row, but hey-that's what ornaments are for!
The recit is accompanied, but that doesn't mean that I need to breathe every time there is a rest! That doesn't mean I can't take my time, speed up, play inside the grid.
I know all of these things, but putting them together and letting them just "be" in the back of my head is harder than I think. Because to be able to "let go" and feel like I'm doing nothing, those things all need to be living within me already.
-g
Legato is achieved how? Vowels? Air? Dynamics? Direction?
What about Portamenti? yes? no? where? why?
I had a Sonnambula coaching today- just because I'm learning the role for my own personal use and hopefully future use as well.
Of course, as usual, when I feel like I'm doing nothing and getting nothing across and not really "singing", that's when the singing happens.
When I try to make a line, it gets to be sausage-y (you know what I'm talking about), I start accenting Italian that shouldn't be accented, bad habits from recordings listened to creep in, and in general, it sounds manufactured.
When will I learn to just say the words and the notes and feel them? Feel that emotion, feel that line, feel the direction, feel myself- as that character- being involved in the story?
Ok, yes, it's difficult to sing about how fast my heart is beating for a fourth verse in a row, but hey-that's what ornaments are for!
The recit is accompanied, but that doesn't mean that I need to breathe every time there is a rest! That doesn't mean I can't take my time, speed up, play inside the grid.
I know all of these things, but putting them together and letting them just "be" in the back of my head is harder than I think. Because to be able to "let go" and feel like I'm doing nothing, those things all need to be living within me already.
-g
24 July, 2006
energy
Our second show/closing night performance was this evening.
We had a break since Friday, and it being Monday and all, I think many of us were still sleeping off the weekend, or wishing that they had some more time to have a weekend.
Now, no one ever wishes low energy upon a show. But you pretty much know when the call is at 6:40 and you roll out of your afternoon nap at 6:05, not having eaten or warmed up, that it's going to be a long night.
I was actually able to pull it together, eat, warm up, feel good vocally, and muster up the energy to go out onstage and give something.
But the whole show just felt a bit under. The orchestra was just a little out of it, the tempi were...well, slower in some spots, faster in some spots, people made little flubs and it just felt not so tight.
How do you prevent that? Are there singers/personalities that can just go onstage and everything is light and bright and everyone all of a sudden gets excited to be there and be making this music and drama?
I know that I can do that for myself, but I'm not sure it can inspire anyone else around me...at least it didn't seem to tonight.
The review of the Friday show was very good to everyone, and I even got a very nice review for the Queen in concert as well.
Now I'm officially finished with the bulk of my mainstage assignments here this summer. I actually have a rep coaching tomorrow, and I can look forward to the Revue, a lighter chorus, some dancing, and mostly working on my own music, and the scenes for the end of the program.
-g
We had a break since Friday, and it being Monday and all, I think many of us were still sleeping off the weekend, or wishing that they had some more time to have a weekend.
Now, no one ever wishes low energy upon a show. But you pretty much know when the call is at 6:40 and you roll out of your afternoon nap at 6:05, not having eaten or warmed up, that it's going to be a long night.
I was actually able to pull it together, eat, warm up, feel good vocally, and muster up the energy to go out onstage and give something.
But the whole show just felt a bit under. The orchestra was just a little out of it, the tempi were...well, slower in some spots, faster in some spots, people made little flubs and it just felt not so tight.
How do you prevent that? Are there singers/personalities that can just go onstage and everything is light and bright and everyone all of a sudden gets excited to be there and be making this music and drama?
I know that I can do that for myself, but I'm not sure it can inspire anyone else around me...at least it didn't seem to tonight.
The review of the Friday show was very good to everyone, and I even got a very nice review for the Queen in concert as well.
Now I'm officially finished with the bulk of my mainstage assignments here this summer. I actually have a rep coaching tomorrow, and I can look forward to the Revue, a lighter chorus, some dancing, and mostly working on my own music, and the scenes for the end of the program.
-g
22 July, 2006
the night of the show y'all (part 2)
Yaaaaayyyyyy!
We opened tonight to a lovely audience, in great spirits, really wanting to move people- and we did- to both laughter and tears in the double bill of Suor Angelica and Schicchi.
This morning, yes, morning- I had a QOTN rehearsal for the concert performance with orchestra tomorrow night, so I was warmed up pretty high, but to sing Genevieve I had to pretty much not talk or sing for a few hours so I'd "warm down", to be able to sing over that Puccini orchestra with the E,F,G above middle C type of low notes over a forte or mf wall of sound.
I gggueesss I am pleased with the performance? I mean, I got really great and nice comments from the director, chorus master, diction coach, rehearsal pianist--they all said it was great. And added to that, my boss-to-be was there tonight and I spoke with him after the performance. He was really pleased and said my voice had grown and gotten bigger since last he heard me (audition in December), and it was sounding really great.
So yayyyyyy!
I think of my part as pretty small in this, although it is the 3rd longest part after Angelica and the Principessa---so I wasn't really paying that much attention to whether it was my best or not (funny how that happens when you're not the lead in, say, Lucia, or singing Queen or something like that)...of course it's "important"...but it doesn't feel like the show is riding on you. There is SO much less pressure, but you can still steal the show or make your mark.
Not that I'm trying to steal the show as Genevieve!!! Our Angelica was absolutely stunning, and a great gal.
That's all for tonight--must attempt to refrain from playing Textwist until all hours of the night, and try to go to sleep so I can sing queen four or five times tomorrow (including the performance).
-g
We opened tonight to a lovely audience, in great spirits, really wanting to move people- and we did- to both laughter and tears in the double bill of Suor Angelica and Schicchi.
This morning, yes, morning- I had a QOTN rehearsal for the concert performance with orchestra tomorrow night, so I was warmed up pretty high, but to sing Genevieve I had to pretty much not talk or sing for a few hours so I'd "warm down", to be able to sing over that Puccini orchestra with the E,F,G above middle C type of low notes over a forte or mf wall of sound.
I gggueesss I am pleased with the performance? I mean, I got really great and nice comments from the director, chorus master, diction coach, rehearsal pianist--they all said it was great. And added to that, my boss-to-be was there tonight and I spoke with him after the performance. He was really pleased and said my voice had grown and gotten bigger since last he heard me (audition in December), and it was sounding really great.
So yayyyyyy!
I think of my part as pretty small in this, although it is the 3rd longest part after Angelica and the Principessa---so I wasn't really paying that much attention to whether it was my best or not (funny how that happens when you're not the lead in, say, Lucia, or singing Queen or something like that)...of course it's "important"...but it doesn't feel like the show is riding on you. There is SO much less pressure, but you can still steal the show or make your mark.
Not that I'm trying to steal the show as Genevieve!!! Our Angelica was absolutely stunning, and a great gal.
That's all for tonight--must attempt to refrain from playing Textwist until all hours of the night, and try to go to sleep so I can sing queen four or five times tomorrow (including the performance).
-g
20 July, 2006
career crap
Ugghh...
I guess I can't really type about this.
Someone is coming to hear the young artists here.
I want to sing for them. Just because I think that you should have an "introduction" audition to a program like this, where you're pretty sure since you're a first-timer you won't get into the finals...but I want to make myself known to them.
BUT I already have a contract for next year, and I don't want to make it seem like I'm throwing their own rules in their faces, which clearly state that I should not audition unless I can be in the finals and be in the program.
There is a lot more to this, but I can't write about it.
I'll decide tomorrow shortly before 1:21- my audition time.
-g
I guess I can't really type about this.
Someone is coming to hear the young artists here.
I want to sing for them. Just because I think that you should have an "introduction" audition to a program like this, where you're pretty sure since you're a first-timer you won't get into the finals...but I want to make myself known to them.
BUT I already have a contract for next year, and I don't want to make it seem like I'm throwing their own rules in their faces, which clearly state that I should not audition unless I can be in the finals and be in the program.
There is a lot more to this, but I can't write about it.
I'll decide tomorrow shortly before 1:21- my audition time.
-g
17 July, 2006
10-10
Tomorrow:
10-12:30 Orchestra Wandelprobe
12:30-1:30 LUNCH (whatever I can slap on two pieces of whole wheat bread that is in the fridge)
1:30-3 Staging ensembles
3-3:25 Maestro QOTN coaching
3:30-4 Cover coaching
4-5 Staging ensembles
5-6 Staging duets
6-7 DINNER (If like tonight I'll be too hot and tired to eat- made a blueberry and Activia and pineapple juice smoothie and then ate a Greek salad around 8:30pm during our break at the theater)
7-10 call to theater for run-through number two in costume and makeup (and 90 degrees with no AC)
This will pretty much be my daily schedule until opening this Friday and the concert on Saturday.
EmergenC, advil, cough drops, water, gatorade, bananas, and nettipot are all at hand!
-g
10-12:30 Orchestra Wandelprobe
12:30-1:30 LUNCH (whatever I can slap on two pieces of whole wheat bread that is in the fridge)
1:30-3 Staging ensembles
3-3:25 Maestro QOTN coaching
3:30-4 Cover coaching
4-5 Staging ensembles
5-6 Staging duets
6-7 DINNER (If like tonight I'll be too hot and tired to eat- made a blueberry and Activia and pineapple juice smoothie and then ate a Greek salad around 8:30pm during our break at the theater)
7-10 call to theater for run-through number two in costume and makeup (and 90 degrees with no AC)
This will pretty much be my daily schedule until opening this Friday and the concert on Saturday.
EmergenC, advil, cough drops, water, gatorade, bananas, and nettipot are all at hand!
-g
16 July, 2006
two
Two huge blows in two days.
One- professional. Yesterday at rehearsal for a certain performance the whole cast was basically demoralized by one of the directors. We had just had an amazing rehearsal- the first one in a LONG time- long being a week of five rehearsals that involved the cast being a little non-enthusiastic due to a very grueling and not happy rehearsal and blocking/staging process. Nothing was said to anyone's face, but the attitudes of some may not have been the best.
Well, we got chewed out for it, and told that we would do this the directors way come hell or high water and we'd better shut up and get with it.
And that is the censored 30 second clip version of the 5 minute verbal abuse.
Two-personal. Let's just leave it at that since I have my private diaries to write down the would-be thoughts that I wanted to be sharing with the love of my life about our communication problem this summer.
Run-throughs for the show start Monday. Better get some sleep this weekend and buy a week's worth of food since I know I'll be in the theater or in rehearsals and coachings from 10am-10pm every day this week.
-g
One- professional. Yesterday at rehearsal for a certain performance the whole cast was basically demoralized by one of the directors. We had just had an amazing rehearsal- the first one in a LONG time- long being a week of five rehearsals that involved the cast being a little non-enthusiastic due to a very grueling and not happy rehearsal and blocking/staging process. Nothing was said to anyone's face, but the attitudes of some may not have been the best.
Well, we got chewed out for it, and told that we would do this the directors way come hell or high water and we'd better shut up and get with it.
And that is the censored 30 second clip version of the 5 minute verbal abuse.
Two-personal. Let's just leave it at that since I have my private diaries to write down the would-be thoughts that I wanted to be sharing with the love of my life about our communication problem this summer.
Run-throughs for the show start Monday. Better get some sleep this weekend and buy a week's worth of food since I know I'll be in the theater or in rehearsals and coachings from 10am-10pm every day this week.
-g
12 July, 2006
post-show g'byes
It's hard to say goodbye- to friends, to acquaintances, but especially to people whom you have gotten to know over a very short time, maybe say three weeks, professionally, personally, and whom you have a relationship with. You esteem them for their talent, their spirit, what they give on stage and off, and all of a sudden, just as quickly as you were introduced to them and had to start playing opposite them, they have their final performances as mainstage artists and continue to their next destination or vacation. What are the odds you will work with them again? Well, in this business they seem pretty good. But who knows when or where that will be? You can always google their careers, follow them, wish them luck, stay in touch with monthly or seasonal emails to let them know what you're doing, how you miss them, how you see that they are doing well too, but it's a strange dynamic. Here they are, ten or more years older than you, having gone through the same type of young artist situation years back or decades back, knowing the business in and out, and you were onstage together with them--making something,...really creating.
And now it's gone.
Does that mean the "relationship" is gone too? Was it all just a collegial front for the stage and for cast relations? Well, I don't think so, and I don't think that they do either, but it's all too easy to just forget about being real people when you are at this place to work and not really create personal relationships or friendships. Even though, of course, that is what ends up happening.
So what am I trying to say?
Well, I'm trying to say that MAYBE just maybe after this program number X of mine, that I'll stay in better touch with people that I know that I care about. That it won't just be the seasonal email to say what I'm doing and hear where they are. That I'll be able to call, email, whenever I please just to check in as a person, friend, and not just a singer.
-g
And now it's gone.
Does that mean the "relationship" is gone too? Was it all just a collegial front for the stage and for cast relations? Well, I don't think so, and I don't think that they do either, but it's all too easy to just forget about being real people when you are at this place to work and not really create personal relationships or friendships. Even though, of course, that is what ends up happening.
So what am I trying to say?
Well, I'm trying to say that MAYBE just maybe after this program number X of mine, that I'll stay in better touch with people that I know that I care about. That it won't just be the seasonal email to say what I'm doing and hear where they are. That I'll be able to call, email, whenever I please just to check in as a person, friend, and not just a singer.
-g
10 July, 2006
it's the day of the show y'all
Yay- Opening night got a great review :) And even my tiny little appearance got very well reviewed with a comment about some sort of bright future in bigger and better things..awesome.
Tonight is performance numero deux, and I'm sure after the great opening and review we'll all be excited to do it again.
My day is yet again filled to the max before the performance, but I'll be fine I'm sure.
This weekend, wait, this yesterday one day off, was very nice. I slept and ate, and slept again. I got weirdly allergic to life on Saturday night, and hydrated all day, and continue to do so today so I can warm up to my not-so-high note of Aflat and be fine in my middle.
Just keep singin'/swimmin', just keep singin'/swimmin'
Yea,
g.
Tonight is performance numero deux, and I'm sure after the great opening and review we'll all be excited to do it again.
My day is yet again filled to the max before the performance, but I'll be fine I'm sure.
This weekend, wait, this yesterday one day off, was very nice. I slept and ate, and slept again. I got weirdly allergic to life on Saturday night, and hydrated all day, and continue to do so today so I can warm up to my not-so-high note of Aflat and be fine in my middle.
Just keep singin'/swimmin', just keep singin'/swimmin'
Yea,
g.
06 July, 2006
QOTN x7
Today- tired.
Why? Hmm, run through last night with orchestra. My note is to now slow down the recits again...I'm taking that to mean give more interpretation and not actually slow down the whole tempo- because otherwise I wouldn't have enough energy for the character.
Oh yea, and then I just had to sing qotn's aria seven times...yes, that's seven. Four time the Ozittre and three times the Du,du,du... oh joy to the world.
I feel a tad fried and still have a whole day of staging and singing.
Tomorrow is opening night. I better shut it for the rest of the day and hope that my load isn't quite as full tomorrow.
-g
Why? Hmm, run through last night with orchestra. My note is to now slow down the recits again...I'm taking that to mean give more interpretation and not actually slow down the whole tempo- because otherwise I wouldn't have enough energy for the character.
Oh yea, and then I just had to sing qotn's aria seven times...yes, that's seven. Four time the Ozittre and three times the Du,du,du... oh joy to the world.
I feel a tad fried and still have a whole day of staging and singing.
Tomorrow is opening night. I better shut it for the rest of the day and hope that my load isn't quite as full tomorrow.
-g
04 July, 2006
finally...
A sense of achievement.
After the orchestra dress from this morning 1. the conductor was happy 2. the diction coach was happy 3. the musical coach was happy. All singin' the praises of being on the beat, ahead of the beat, clear, wonderful...
Not that I'm constantly looking for these things..but SOMETHING. some feedback. That's what I'm looking for. And until today with exception of two things I had to fix that I got directed about in rehearsal and onstage I've gotten no concrete feedback either way about my performance so far.
-g
After the orchestra dress from this morning 1. the conductor was happy 2. the diction coach was happy 3. the musical coach was happy. All singin' the praises of being on the beat, ahead of the beat, clear, wonderful...
Not that I'm constantly looking for these things..but SOMETHING. some feedback. That's what I'm looking for. And until today with exception of two things I had to fix that I got directed about in rehearsal and onstage I've gotten no concrete feedback either way about my performance so far.
-g
03 July, 2006
when it rains...it's raining.
Well, the shit has hit the proverbial fan in my personal life. And this after two days of soul-opening conversations, friendships expanded through sharing and trust, and happiness at the realization that "love is all you need"...or is it?
There was a very famous writer at a small dinner gathering for "opera parents" and their adopted summer kids, and some other friends. The question was posed to the singers present- all females- how do you balance wanting a career with wanting/having love, marriage, kids, etc.
We all said we wanted it all. We knew we may not be ready for one thing, but eventually we want it both- maybe not at the same time, but yes, in life.
And then this brilliant man of very few spoken words described to us the utter nothingness that is his life now that his wife is no longer living. How he now knows that nothing matters because there is no one to share it with. How he would not have changed anything in career or life because spending his life with her was the most important thing he ever did. How you bring one hundred percent of yourself to a relationship that is 50-50 with each person to make a whole....I mean, we were all tearing up.
And then last night happened. The final phone conversation of the summer perhaps. Because it's too painful to talk for just 5 minutes every night and not have it mean anything. Because somehow not speaking or communicating is going to make us stronger. Because it's not a relationship anyway if we don't have meaningful conversations and are more frustrated by the fact that the other person has a schedule that does not work the same way yours does, and therefore talk is Not cheap because there is always something to be running off to for the night owl, or sleep needed for the early bird.
I wrote about this a lot more at 2am last night when I was not sleeping, not thinking about the first sing-through with the conductor today...(in which apparently I had this character and voice and musicality all wrong because I was asked to repeat everything that I did a second time and do it differently...and it's not that I didn't sing well, it just wasn't the feeling that he wanted for the character. Alrightythen.)..and not really thinking about anything but crying anyway.
-g
There was a very famous writer at a small dinner gathering for "opera parents" and their adopted summer kids, and some other friends. The question was posed to the singers present- all females- how do you balance wanting a career with wanting/having love, marriage, kids, etc.
We all said we wanted it all. We knew we may not be ready for one thing, but eventually we want it both- maybe not at the same time, but yes, in life.
And then this brilliant man of very few spoken words described to us the utter nothingness that is his life now that his wife is no longer living. How he now knows that nothing matters because there is no one to share it with. How he would not have changed anything in career or life because spending his life with her was the most important thing he ever did. How you bring one hundred percent of yourself to a relationship that is 50-50 with each person to make a whole....I mean, we were all tearing up.
And then last night happened. The final phone conversation of the summer perhaps. Because it's too painful to talk for just 5 minutes every night and not have it mean anything. Because somehow not speaking or communicating is going to make us stronger. Because it's not a relationship anyway if we don't have meaningful conversations and are more frustrated by the fact that the other person has a schedule that does not work the same way yours does, and therefore talk is Not cheap because there is always something to be running off to for the night owl, or sleep needed for the early bird.
I wrote about this a lot more at 2am last night when I was not sleeping, not thinking about the first sing-through with the conductor today...(in which apparently I had this character and voice and musicality all wrong because I was asked to repeat everything that I did a second time and do it differently...and it's not that I didn't sing well, it just wasn't the feeling that he wanted for the character. Alrightythen.)..and not really thinking about anything but crying anyway.
-g
30 June, 2006
weekend update
Audition for two v.i.p.s in the young artist/future big named opera house scouting business went well. The conductor of the opera was there as well, so I think overall I impressed three people, one of whom rememberd me from a previous audition, and the other who asked for my birthdate "for my records"---I guess so next time they hear me they can compare with now? Or maybe just to see if indeed I'll be the youngest person employed as said opera house in the past x number of years...yea, right.
Then the recital. Oh, the recital. Here is the part that I don't really know about. Of course everyone comes up to you and says what a great job, bla bla bla. I felt good about two sets. I mean, really good, vocally and emotionally. The Russian I maybe had the emotion but have sung better. The French- sang well, maybe needed a bit more emotion. The Italian. Those D's on open E or A vowels. Here is my question..if I'm "used" to getting a comment from my old teacher about intonation issues on those D's and C's, did I do it this time? As I've said before, I can't hear it. I can think higher, approach from maybe a trill above kind of position. I WANT someone to say something. I could ask. But sometimes right after a concert that seems like you just want MORE praise and attention, because who is going to tell you right after you've sung that one note was consistantly under?
It didn't SEEM like anyone was making up their comments and praise about the performance. The singers were all genuine, and the coaches even had their specific favorites. The heads of the program were all smiley and everything...I mean of course one little pitch in one or two songs isn't a big deal, but I'd still want to know. And I'm not sure how to go about it. Maybe in a private coaching if I get one after all of the operas are on their feet.
In other news, the internet is now here. I don't know if it's our network, or stolen. But even with all of this time to now actually get these cover letters, thank you letters, career stuff drafted, I'm completely exhausted. I mean- vocally fried, physically TIRED (and of course still can't fall asleep or wake up easily), and emotionally--feeling distant from friends, family, one person in particular- and only really connecting with 26-30 other people here on a daily basis.
That's not to say that it is at all shallow conversation or shop talk. I of course hope to continue these relationships, but I also can't find the words or start to write the emails to just stay in touch with everyone else.
Maybe it's just fatigue. If I continue to crash this server, I'll eventually get around to emailing everyone hello.
There is a big looming business of singing email/letter that I have to compose and get out there in the next month about that big grant, and I just can't do the work right now.
Not to mention personal notes of thanks to future family for gifts, etc. oy.
I feel like I'm in more of a bubble here than in school. Because I don't even know where the post office is, I have no TIME to find out, and the only thing I know is that 20 minutes away a super Wal-Mart has all of the answers to life's little questions.
-g
Then the recital. Oh, the recital. Here is the part that I don't really know about. Of course everyone comes up to you and says what a great job, bla bla bla. I felt good about two sets. I mean, really good, vocally and emotionally. The Russian I maybe had the emotion but have sung better. The French- sang well, maybe needed a bit more emotion. The Italian. Those D's on open E or A vowels. Here is my question..if I'm "used" to getting a comment from my old teacher about intonation issues on those D's and C's, did I do it this time? As I've said before, I can't hear it. I can think higher, approach from maybe a trill above kind of position. I WANT someone to say something. I could ask. But sometimes right after a concert that seems like you just want MORE praise and attention, because who is going to tell you right after you've sung that one note was consistantly under?
It didn't SEEM like anyone was making up their comments and praise about the performance. The singers were all genuine, and the coaches even had their specific favorites. The heads of the program were all smiley and everything...I mean of course one little pitch in one or two songs isn't a big deal, but I'd still want to know. And I'm not sure how to go about it. Maybe in a private coaching if I get one after all of the operas are on their feet.
In other news, the internet is now here. I don't know if it's our network, or stolen. But even with all of this time to now actually get these cover letters, thank you letters, career stuff drafted, I'm completely exhausted. I mean- vocally fried, physically TIRED (and of course still can't fall asleep or wake up easily), and emotionally--feeling distant from friends, family, one person in particular- and only really connecting with 26-30 other people here on a daily basis.
That's not to say that it is at all shallow conversation or shop talk. I of course hope to continue these relationships, but I also can't find the words or start to write the emails to just stay in touch with everyone else.
Maybe it's just fatigue. If I continue to crash this server, I'll eventually get around to emailing everyone hello.
There is a big looming business of singing email/letter that I have to compose and get out there in the next month about that big grant, and I just can't do the work right now.
Not to mention personal notes of thanks to future family for gifts, etc. oy.
I feel like I'm in more of a bubble here than in school. Because I don't even know where the post office is, I have no TIME to find out, and the only thing I know is that 20 minutes away a super Wal-Mart has all of the answers to life's little questions.
-g
26 June, 2006
here part three- and vocal fatigue
Today I'm feeling it.
Well, yesterday too- even though it was the day off---damn me for talking and dancing and staying up until 3:30am on Saturday night.
All of yesterday I felt like I didn't want to talk...and then what happened? Well, we met our "opera parents" --people who adopt us, let us sit in their nice houses with nice AC, feed us, let us do our laundry for free for the summer, and supply us with other homely goods throughout the season.
Well, that used up two more hours of schmoozing. Even though I went to sleep pretty early, and my schedule was kind of light today, I still feel completely sung out.
I've had musical theater coachings to search for good keys to sing in, coupled with recital coachings, and of course run-throughs. Even though it's not that much singing today I experienced the moment of complete muscling...meaning, I was no longer singing correctly because it wasn't comfortable, and then my jaw and neck decided to do the work for me, and then it was all strained and crappy for about 5 seconds. Then I relaxed.
This was kind of the feeling that I have written about regarding nerves and performance...that two second thing where you feel like you're freaking out and your larynx is up at the top of your mouth and in your nose and you're basically just screaming and at the same time ripping your vocal cords out.
Great.
Well, it's not as bad as that stage experience. But it did begin. No.
There are other circumstances like being bitten by something weird on my upper BUTT, and not drinking enough water --I know this because...I know. But venomous spiders and mild dehydration won't stop me! I must get better by supposed bigwig auditions, my recital, and the full run-through on Thursday, and just good in general.
Wah.
-g
Well, yesterday too- even though it was the day off---damn me for talking and dancing and staying up until 3:30am on Saturday night.
All of yesterday I felt like I didn't want to talk...and then what happened? Well, we met our "opera parents" --people who adopt us, let us sit in their nice houses with nice AC, feed us, let us do our laundry for free for the summer, and supply us with other homely goods throughout the season.
Well, that used up two more hours of schmoozing. Even though I went to sleep pretty early, and my schedule was kind of light today, I still feel completely sung out.
I've had musical theater coachings to search for good keys to sing in, coupled with recital coachings, and of course run-throughs. Even though it's not that much singing today I experienced the moment of complete muscling...meaning, I was no longer singing correctly because it wasn't comfortable, and then my jaw and neck decided to do the work for me, and then it was all strained and crappy for about 5 seconds. Then I relaxed.
This was kind of the feeling that I have written about regarding nerves and performance...that two second thing where you feel like you're freaking out and your larynx is up at the top of your mouth and in your nose and you're basically just screaming and at the same time ripping your vocal cords out.
Great.
Well, it's not as bad as that stage experience. But it did begin. No.
There are other circumstances like being bitten by something weird on my upper BUTT, and not drinking enough water --I know this because...I know. But venomous spiders and mild dehydration won't stop me! I must get better by supposed bigwig auditions, my recital, and the full run-through on Thursday, and just good in general.
Wah.
-g
22 June, 2006
here part two
Day---I already don't know what day it is during the week. All I know is that every evening there is a new schedule to jot down for the next day, music to learn, choreography to memorize, and business to be busy with.
I'm having a lot of fun in everything. This group of people has a really nice flavor, and I'm enjoying mainstage rehearsals as well as little studio artist coachings, recital preparations, and of course the big musical theater show to prepare for! That will be exciting- the first time belting legitimately in a while--well, if the directors let me!
More news when WIRELESS is more convenient.
-g
I'm having a lot of fun in everything. This group of people has a really nice flavor, and I'm enjoying mainstage rehearsals as well as little studio artist coachings, recital preparations, and of course the big musical theater show to prepare for! That will be exciting- the first time belting legitimately in a while--well, if the directors let me!
More news when WIRELESS is more convenient.
-g
19 June, 2006
Here part one
The scoop so far:
People- Really fun, nice- even in this small group you can tell that we will all get along.
Music- Sang through first show today, felt good about my general feedback, waiting for something more during staging or coaching.
Place- well, it's HOT. There is no AC- almost anywhere, but that's usually ok with me. The one thing I still haven't gotten used to is the room/bed, and therefore I have not slept well for the past two nights. Also, there is some sort of something that I'm obviously allergic to because everytime I walk into my room my nose gets stuffy and I feel like cryyaap.
Looking forward t0- what I refer to as "Death by Aria"- tomorrow night, where everyone sings their prettiest. It should be fun, and will set a more relaxed pace for us to get through the summer once we all have our pats on the back and such from colleagues and the bosses.
Update two coming when internet is wireless in the dorms.
-g
People- Really fun, nice- even in this small group you can tell that we will all get along.
Music- Sang through first show today, felt good about my general feedback, waiting for something more during staging or coaching.
Place- well, it's HOT. There is no AC- almost anywhere, but that's usually ok with me. The one thing I still haven't gotten used to is the room/bed, and therefore I have not slept well for the past two nights. Also, there is some sort of something that I'm obviously allergic to because everytime I walk into my room my nose gets stuffy and I feel like cryyaap.
Looking forward t0- what I refer to as "Death by Aria"- tomorrow night, where everyone sings their prettiest. It should be fun, and will set a more relaxed pace for us to get through the summer once we all have our pats on the back and such from colleagues and the bosses.
Update two coming when internet is wireless in the dorms.
-g
15 June, 2006
Ball 'o Stress
Please let me go back to the beach for 4 hours a day and make me a hummus filled pita!!!
I've been packing/loading new songs onto the ipod/updating resume and bio/choosing music and clothes to take for the summer for the past day and a half.
My back hurts again, and I have been in my PJ's all day! I only went outside to put my suitcases in the car!!!!
Tomorrow at 10am begins the car journey with a stopover in good ole' University-land for one more coaching, depositing bank checks, tying up loose ends since I won't be back through there until the end of the summer, and seeing friends for dinner.
This will be fun once I get unpacked.
-g
I've been packing/loading new songs onto the ipod/updating resume and bio/choosing music and clothes to take for the summer for the past day and a half.
My back hurts again, and I have been in my PJ's all day! I only went outside to put my suitcases in the car!!!!
Tomorrow at 10am begins the car journey with a stopover in good ole' University-land for one more coaching, depositing bank checks, tying up loose ends since I won't be back through there until the end of the summer, and seeing friends for dinner.
This will be fun once I get unpacked.
-g
14 June, 2006
Sweet Apple Presents
Well, I'm back laden with Duty-Free shopping bags filled with wonderful goodies and gifts that I will pass on to deserving friends and family. My bags made it even though I packed one suitcase inside the other (mildly suspicious) and checked it through Kennedy to Boston. I made it, managing to tear myself away from the tv/video monitor of the plane's progress over the atlantic in the seat in front of me long enough to sleep through two meals and all refreshment offerings on the 11 hour flight, and still not get a huge dehydration headache.
What I've heard so far:
"Wow, you look so rested, relaxed." "You look great" "You look different- like you had a great time and you're in your own skin". OK then!!! Vacation forever! Put me back on that plane!
No, really, I do feel rejuvinated. Of course also sad to leave my family and the place I called home for so long in my youth. I'm excited for this Saturday and the next 10 weeks to begin a new musical adventure, but also am absolutely NOT able to pack bags, figure out what music to take...pretty much I'm in denial that I am supposed to be on my way in my car tomorrow toward my musical summer destination.
BUT there are some things that are of course taking up my packing time...among them my NEW IPOD VIDEO 60 GB!!!! OH YEA!
I already transferred 17 gigs of music onto it, and that was just from my OLD ipod!! I haven't even gotten to ANY opera or any of my CD's that I still listen to in my car from time to time!
What I've heard so far:
"Wow, you look so rested, relaxed." "You look great" "You look different- like you had a great time and you're in your own skin". OK then!!! Vacation forever! Put me back on that plane!
No, really, I do feel rejuvinated. Of course also sad to leave my family and the place I called home for so long in my youth. I'm excited for this Saturday and the next 10 weeks to begin a new musical adventure, but also am absolutely NOT able to pack bags, figure out what music to take...pretty much I'm in denial that I am supposed to be on my way in my car tomorrow toward my musical summer destination.
BUT there are some things that are of course taking up my packing time...among them my NEW IPOD VIDEO 60 GB!!!! OH YEA!
I already transferred 17 gigs of music onto it, and that was just from my OLD ipod!! I haven't even gotten to ANY opera or any of my CD's that I still listen to in my car from time to time!
11 June, 2006
but oh, those summer naaHiiiiights
Last full day of "vaycay". Tomorrow at 1am I'll be on a 13 hour flight back to NY and then on a 2 hour flight back to Boston to pick up my car and drive out to begin my summer program.
What will I do today?
What I do everyday Pinky...
Wake up late (check, it's 10:30).
Lounge around and pretend to listen to the chorus music that I still have to memorize.
Eat the best food in the world (unless you're dehydrated for two days without your knowledge and can't figure out why you DON"T want to stuff your face full of Hummus and Pita).
Visit my family one last time because who knows when I'll have around a grand to drop on this kind of flight again.
Go to the beach.
Buy friends some stuff that says my friend was on vacation and this is what I got(still haven't decided whether this will take place at Duty Free or in the city).
Not waste time on the internet even though I really want to get back in touch with the real world in the day leading up to my return to it.
-g
What will I do today?
What I do everyday Pinky...
Wake up late (check, it's 10:30).
Lounge around and pretend to listen to the chorus music that I still have to memorize.
Eat the best food in the world (unless you're dehydrated for two days without your knowledge and can't figure out why you DON"T want to stuff your face full of Hummus and Pita).
Visit my family one last time because who knows when I'll have around a grand to drop on this kind of flight again.
Go to the beach.
Buy friends some stuff that says my friend was on vacation and this is what I got(still haven't decided whether this will take place at Duty Free or in the city).
Not waste time on the internet even though I really want to get back in touch with the real world in the day leading up to my return to it.
-g
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)