31 January, 2010

that was fun!!

I'm baaaaack!

Ok, here's the breakdown.
5:15 show up to the theater to deliver my thank you notes and chocolates to the appropriate dressing rooms.
5:30 hair and makeup call
6:15 Warm up ... speed-sing through most of my parts in the show, then sing some Lucia for fun.
6:50 get in my costume
7:30 opening!!!

Our first entrance --
I'm standing backstage, and YET AGAIN my heart begins to RACE.
I mean, no calming breath was going to calm this thing down.
It happens. I don't know why and I can't control it, but RIGHT before I go on it starts beating like K.Razy.
Went on, first five seconds--it goes away.
First time I have to sing a 'solo' line-- I am feeling awesome and into it by now and the whole thing will be ok.

It's so funny and strange, the mind-body connection. I mean, if my heart had kept racing from being excited and nervous, COULD I have controlled it? WOULD it have come back at any time and made any impression on my voice?

Not sure. Just glad that it's the seconds BEFORE I go onstage, and not WHEN I'm onstage.
Although I have written that in the past- and I'm talking 4 years or so now...I have always gotten really nervous for the beginning of the shows, and sometimes that has had an effect on me vocally. In essence, thinning out my support and core and thereby thinning out my voice. The notes are there, but to me it sounds like I'm barely phonating (although those listening tell me they have not heard a difference even though I feel like I'm crumpling up into myself inside).

AAANYWAY, back to the show.
The audience laughed and clapped and liked it! YAY!
The dialogues went well. The singing went well, the ensemble work and dancing went well--
I mean, in general, this felt like a 'high energy totally ON rehearsal/performance'- which , really, is what it SHOULD be.
No more no less than your best performance, as rehearsed carefully and energetically.

It's funny though-- before a few of my 'arietta' entrances--I kept going OVER and OVER the words in my head thinking that somehow they'd be GONE and I couldn't recall them when I was actually onstage doing them.

Since I have written about my learning process before let's just say that this was a show that was split between 'magically being in my head' and study study studying the French couplet verses that I had to memorize.
But not in a way that was--"involved". It was more like- on a TRAM or SUBWAY TO somewhere....
I never really sat down with it the way I do some other pieces..because it seemed to come a bit more easily and that wasn't necessary.
Well, I suppose because of that my brain got a little freaked last night and wanted me to go over and over my lyrics until right before my entrances.

And I did. And they were fine!

Ask me the day after the show closes to sing you the whole thing...and you'll get a different answer! HA.

Enough of the run down.
I felt good.
The party was lovely afterward. I again got some REALLY nice comment about my acting and my natural tendencies on stage--and truthfully...it's almost better than hearing 'you sang well' or 'your voice is so lovely.'...this is something I work on, and think about, and I'm glad when it's recognized.
Of course, my voice is too--but that's just part of the impression. If someone can suspend reality and believe I'm this character--no matter how it comes out they won't remember my voice. They'll remember ME (as that character) and that is what I love.

Have to coach Lucia tomorrow at 11:30am. Yea, I'm a sucker for pain early in the morning.

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