Ok, today was just...weird..and good...and weird again...and very good again.
Let me try to explain. Morning routine went uninterrupted. Warmed up, felt good..but a BIT weird in that wonky-throated-what-the-heck-is-going-on-oh-yea-it's-almost-the-girly-time way.
I got to the opera house.
The last time I was here to see a performance must have been in 2001. Aida. I will never forget it because a Tuba totally ruined the triumphal march's LAST big beat on ONE, by coming in ONE quarter note early.
And then entire audience gasped and then a few people in the pit laughed. It WAS actually hilarious...but I felt bad for the guy.
Anyway...so I remember standing in the 'standing room' waiting line, putting my scarf around the pole, walking out to get a quick snack, and then STANDING for like 3.5 hours of Aida.
This time I got to enter through the stage door.
I was greeted by a man who spoke with a thick accent who told me to take the elevator to the fourth floor and go to probezimmer 6- that means rehearsal room 6.
One would think that when one got off of the elevator, one would see signs for said room.
Instead, I got to walk down one hallway, back to the elevator, walk down another hallway (all with numbers like 4022, 4021, etc), to THEN see an offshoot hallway with a tiny sign saying ZM1-6..which I took to mean, rooms 1-6...the ones I was looking for.
Half a staircase up and around and down later, I found room 6.
The pianist was American (from North Dakota...cool)..and we went through Zerbinetta, which I was starting with. I listed my other rep and she had no problem with it so I had no problem with it..and it was 12:05 and I had to wait until the audition began at 1.
So I sat on a ledge outside of the room where we would be singing..waiting, playing with my iphone, waiting, drinking some water, waiting, eating some bread (brown bread with hard crust. RULES). waiting.
Then another singer shows up. Then another...I guess that was the order in which the pianist was playing for them.
Audition time. Except no, there is no order, so some singer decides to count off, and by the time I count off...quickly, but not loudly so I don't offend anyone else who may want an early number (DUH)...I'm number 6 of 8.
So I wait some more.
First girl- soprano, one song.
2nd guy- guy...who knows.
3 guy- ... "
4th girl- honking soprano and they asked for dich teure halle after the first piece.
5th girl- started with vivaldi. a slow aria. WHO DOES THAT? I don't care if you have the voice of the angels..do NOT start with an unknown Vivaldi Aria that is slow and boring.
So. It was one of those days..when I wasn't nervous at all before hand, and then I got in there and wasn't nervous, and then I started singing and wasn't nervous...and then...all of a sudden I started to be aware of what I was doing...in a not so fun way...like--thinking. BOO. Thinking is WRONG. I just "BE" when I perform...or try to just 'be'.
So now I"m trying to fool myself into NOT thinking..which involves more "acting"....(ekkkting)...haha..no, it involves me trying to get out of my head and into the character. So I focus on some physicality..in this case my hips...(hey, it's what came to mind and what I have to use anyway to get Zerb's point across)...and I'm trying to get out of my head by "being" better.
It worked. I ended up back in Zerbie's head and out of my own.
I finish. And one short old guy starts blathering in German about how I said the word "herz" wrong. Too closed. It was SOOO SOOO good, except for this one word. And that's a shame.
Did I seriously just sing for 7 almost-perfect minutes for you and you're pissed cuz on a HIGH F which is already in a CRAP vocal zone, I have to sing an open "EH" vowel and approach it from an A on the staff after a low D on the staff.
So I sang a little bit of a more closed-down Eh instead of an open Eh. LORD.
So I'm pissed.
Then the guy on the panel says do you have Queen.
Why YES_ (what a freeeeaaaaking surprise...see posts below)....I DO have queen's 2nd aria.
-No, do you have the first one.
-No, sorry not today (even though I do and the accompanist probably sees it right behind Der holle rache)..but I am NOT about to sing an aria that I haven't even LOOKED at in over 2 years. PLEASE.
And really? Really? You want me to sing through the entire thing JUST so you can hear that final F approached?
And you DON"T want to hear the 2nd queen aria that has like a zillion and one F's in it?
who ARE you people? and what have you done with ANYONE that knows what they heck they are talking about?
So. I'm pissed even more, because I wanted to sing a 2nd piece, and I had hoped that they would just ask me for something else after I said I didn't have the first Queen.
So I go outside and begin to pack up. But no.
We ALL have to wait there until every one finishes singing..and then there is going to be some kind of 'discussion'.
I'm thinking..yea, right..these people are just going to finish hearing us and then leave the room with us looking like idiots wanting feedback...
So, actually, they did what they said (in a weird way)...maybe they had to 'tawk amongst themselves" first.
But then they asked us in one by one and gave us feedback.
The nice man who talked to me said auf deutsch oder anglisch..and i said, ich verstehe deutsch, aber anglisch ist besser...
So he said- it's better for me too, I'm swedish!
So here I'm expecting something like:--your German was weak (which I have NEVER heard), it was OK. Good acting. Thanks for stopping by.
And instead I got: So, we would like for you to come sing on the mainstage as soon as possible.
Great acting, that one German word was just ok but we want to hear you again and we were very impressed, bla bla bla bla.
I stopped listening after the "as soon as possible".
And all I could think about was how PISSED I was for the last 20 minutes, waiting there, knowing/thinking that they hated me..even though I though/KNEW that I sang really really well!