weekend update

Ok, so I couldn't wait until tomorrow because I can't sleep (even though there is a beautiful man in my bed right now)...he's asleep though, and I SHOULD be as I'm taking him to the airport at 4am.

WELL-
Friday- Family and boy arrive. We have lunch, dinner, I sing with Mallika on Public Access tv (the flower duet), and then we relax for the evening. I AM able to sleep.

Saturday- meet the fam and boy for Brunch. Spend the rest of the day writing thank you cards, going through words to the opera in my head, thinking about not being nervous, and warming up around 5pm for about an hour--slowly, deliberately, and singing small pieces of all of the role.

Saturday night- no hope for any sleep.
I look over at the clock about every hour even though I'm in bed by midnight.
I start going through the words to the show in my head hoping that I'll nod off. No, instead I finish the show and still can't sleep.

TODAY- wake up around 9:30am. Shower and warm up at the same time. 10:45- off to the theater. I am always the first one there. It's how I like it, whether I have to warm up or not.

THE SHOW
I have posted about being nervous before, your body betraying you while your mind is "at peace", your mind betraying you while your body does fine.
Today I got over it. Really. I felt EXCITED before the show. Not "mojo FU ala nfcs" excited, but really just happy. Happy with the family that was here. Happy that I'd be doing what I have wanted to be doing for SO SO long onstage in the next 3 hours.
Happy.
The first offstage lines I feel my heart racing.
When the temple doors open I feel my knees knocking a bit.
But the voice never failed me. It was clear as a bell, no effort, no crazy nervousness in the throat, nothing.

After my first little "ditty" with "daddy", my Nilakantha exited and as he did so, whispered "you're doing great" in my ear. And it just made my heart melt. This cast and the resident artists have been so absolutely supportive of me. It's not often that one of us gets to do such a big role, and what he said just made everything disappear except for me and my character for the next 3 acts.

From there everything went smoothly.
Flower duet- Felt the good energy, felt the big 2.
Pourquoi- Had the dramatic tension and resolutions it needed. I'll listen to the recording but there may have been ONE sforzando that I ended early and caught myself on.
First duet- A lot of energy and reality.

Act II--the aria!
The cadenza--oh, the cadenza.
Of course who WON"T tell you that they're amazing in the practice room.. Well, I won't. I NEVER get off pitch for this with piano in a practice room. ONCE in rehearsals I ended up a quarter tone sharp.
Today was no exception--Ended BAM on that high and low E. YEA.
The aria: Such good energy. After the last E the crowd pretty much just kept clapping ...for a really long time (I'll see how much on my illegal MD recording of it when I get around to listen)...and I just held it and smiled. It felt amazing.

ActII duet and aria--this is where I felt it really came together. All of my low(er) duets after the aria were always the most challenging for me. From singing high E's to having to really shape the passagio-area ditties.
It was HOTTT if I do say so myself.
(after this act my conductor knocked on my dressing room door, and said brava--it was the best it's ever been).

Act III- yes, up there 8 feet in the air in our bungalow hideaway:
REALLY REALLY good.
AGAIN, the slow and LOW Berceuse that I worried about was a piece of cake.
Floating the high C at the end was magical. I got a little hairpin crescendo decrescedo in there as well. Just really really pretty.

And then it just went on like that--two more mini-arias, the death scene..final duet...and that's it.

Just like that the night was over.

I was beaming.
So were my bosses and colleagues.

This is why I love my "job". It's not even a job. I just created art tonight that will never be captured again. I told someone a story. I moved someone for the first time. I put all of that hard learning, French studying, passagio work, coaching, diction, rehearsal...everything---into what I did tonight.
And I felt wonderful about it.

And now I can't sleep and still have to wake up in 4 hours.