run-through

This morning was my first full run-through of the show will full chorus. All of the "bosses" were there in the company- the prez, the artistic dir. and admins---not that I should have been surprised at this, but they came to rehearsal with the other cast last night, so I thought maybe I'd have a light morning and mark a bit, since I had a full run-through senza chorus yesterday afternoon.

Instead, I warmed up in three and a half minutes, and sang the best show I've sung so far...and got great feedback on the voice and the acting. Conductor said it was at a totally new level today and stay right there for next week's performance. Director had TWO notes on my French and that's it. And all of the staff was congratulatory as well.

Now, I'm not looking for congrats and accolades from these people. They are not my voice teachers or coaches, but they are what matters in this performance, and for my image at this company, and for my future with this company as well.

So I'm really proud of myself. I'm happy with my performance. And I'm even feeling less stressed and nervous about the whole thing in general.

I'm feeling more removed from those "what if..holy crap..oh god" moments with my nerves, and feeling closer to "yes! I am doing this...I love this" moments with the performance, the character, and my commitment.

That is NOT to say that next Sunday I won't be nervous or fear those demons creeping into my performance. But I'm so content right now with what I'm doing and how it feels. It's this euphoria that can make everything better and make this career and the insanity surrounding it all worth it.

Oh, and after the run? I came home and FELL into bed for 3.5 hours.
It felt SO good.