Notes 2

First. Note to self. No caffeine before runthrus!
Energy that is not naturally mine just doesn't work. I usually hate coffee but for some reasoni stopped at sb today
About an hour before rehearsal (where I am now-- yea iPhone)
I feel like I'm bouncing off the walls- on the inside. I'm focused but weirdly so.
Too much in my head too little in my body.
Things are both going in slow motion and passing me by too quickly at the same time

More notes- slower entrance. More vogue. Drop face on family portrait
Faster on all recit entrances
Motivate cross to d on high note and all the little 'oh's that build up to 'the' 'o'
Once more- face boobs turn out lean fall crawl
Slower and body burn on trill

One more quintet review and act ii notes and then I'll be left with only energy for the rest of the night
It may just be a legally blonde the musical kinda night around 2am again

notes

Not that this will make sense to anyone but myself, but here goes, because I have to think about it and get it out of my head before I attempt to fall asleep tonight.

ACTI-
-slower down steps while C is dream-dancing
-hit C with boa
-Madonna pose on each "Don" "Ra"
-Butt at 3/4 on dad's aria
-Baby Throw- more disinterest
-Bigger Coat movement
-Papaaaaa(flower, smile to frown)
-Boobs, arms, fall, crawl
-Mi fa male (xDSL of T), mi fa MA (pull T)

Act II-
Kick/Fall earlier on BASti, and not because I"m angry.
Fall R of Ctr. for whiny recit- stay there.
It's raining on my head and messing up my hair ...ie, "It's raaaining, on prom niiight, my hair is a meeeessss, it's ruuuning all oooover my taffetta dreeeess".
OMG who is that--isn't that...wait, what?
Prince?
Finale- not so far right, one step off stage then on.

First run-through-- as my good friend Borat would say---a great success...yesss...niiice, alaaaaaiiike.

Take 2 tomorrow.

in which the bloggy world gets a little smaller

Dinner with a current-colleague tonight reveals that we have both read the other singer's blog in the past year, and not known who the singer was!
Well, I COULD have since this singer isn't completely anonymous, but she was left to guess!
All was revealed over some brown rice, black beans, and chopped chicken--including the fact that our parents live about 10 minutes away from each other.
(We're trying to set up a blind date before the opening of the show!).
Mom, Dad- here is another set of mom and dad that have a singer for a daughter, Tawk amongst yourselves.

In a world where usually the extent of a relationship (in an opera 5.5 week rehearsal/performance situation) is usually- you're my new best facebook friend, it was nice to sit down to dinner, get to know someone, and talk about things like LIFE as a singer, and not just being a singer, or the show.

Sometimes people are just ok with being facebook friends and 'show-friends'- meaning, you hang out in rehearsals, you have some meals together during your time off for lunch or dinner, maybe you even go out on the town a few times during the production...and afterward the texts, fb messages and all communication otherwise dwindles--except for the obvious--omg, are you in NYC for auditions? We should totally hang!

But more often I like to keep in touch on a 'real' basis. Ok, yes, it MAY be through messaging on facebook, but HEY- I'm just not a phone person (except for the cool apps on my iphone), so my interweb-ninja self WILL be in touch, and hopefully it will be before we find out that we're cast in a production together in 2011 and have to do the awkward--omg, it's been soooo long, I should have been in better touch.

So, new blogger-buddy, and current-colleague, let's hope that we ARE both cast in something fabulous together in 2011 and that when we get there it'll be like no time passed at all!

pros and cons

Should I or shouldn't I?
After this production I"m going to have 6 weeks off.
The big question yet to be answered is will I go to Europe in hopes of doing auditions?

The issues:
Money, Timing, Probability that I'll get auditions/offers.
Money- don't have much of it now, but after this production I should have enough to finance the following:
Round trip to the cheapest city in Germany from NYC--maybe 600?
Unlimited Eurail Pass for a thousand smackers or so.
Audition fees, food, etc.
Housing: To be hopefully taken care of by GENEROUS friends and friends of friends.
Berlin- check, Leipzig- check, Hagen- check, Dusseldorf- check.
I'll totally youth hostel it up in any other places, or find cheap lodging as I always do and 'rough' it.
I THINK in total I would attempt to spend less than 3thou? I mean, the flight and Eurail alone would add up to close to 2.

I don't need to eat, right?

Ok, so that's money. I will have it.

Timing.
Yes, it's a 'good' time to go, according to most. Second to fall audition season which coincides with the American audition season.

Probability that I"ll get auditions.
Now this is where it gets tricky...maybe...maybe I'm overthinking it.

I THINK that what I should do is what most people do-
1. Get out that big list of all agents in Europe, send them an email or snail mail BY February 1st, say I'm coming over there from X to X date, and will they hear me.
2. Get out that big list of houses. Send THEIR KBB office an email requesting a house audition. Wait and see.

What I have:
My resume and bio and cover letter translated into German.

What I don't have:
What I don't have, really, is the knowledge to deal with 'what if' situations. ie- I have engagements in the next year, and IF I do this and IF I get some offer, WILL I be able to negotiate releases or should I not do it at all because releases aren't granted
?
Do I say that I have upcoming engagements? Do I leave it all open? What looks better? What looks like I WOULD want to move there for a year, IF given the chance and IF also given that release in the next year?
Do I audition for "studio" programs simply because I'm age-eligible (under 30 or in some cases 28) even though I'm 'mainstage' here?
Do I audition for EVERYTHING and just see?

I'm usually a more compartmentalized type of person for this type of venture. And these lingering questions that no one can really answer because no one that I know is really in this exact same situation...are not making it any easier to make a decision.

all done~ or, the beginning.

This afternoon the entire show was blocked.

So. Now I have all of these scribbles ...some in my score, most in my head...that I get to flesh out and make sense of for the next fourteen days.
A basic shape or flow, that I get to change things up in. From tempo to demeanor to stance to facial expression. And at the end of it all, all of my specific choices will make an arc for this character that hopefully will flow seamlessly from beginning to end.

Some of the challenges that I think about before going to sleep (as I go through as much blocking and speed-thrus in my head as possible) are:
-Avoiding being generally whiny and whinging.

I think I can avoid that by making my gestures more refined. Slower to gesture, but quick intellectually--means that I've been schooled in "how" to gesture, so I have an element of refinement and snob about me. I know what's right and sometimes can't HELP but gesture in a flowing/correct/finishing school manner. But I'm also quick to lose my temper. It's the losing the temper where I'm wanting to speed things up ..and I think I get too 'modern' gesture with it...so I will try to lose my temper with stronger facial movements rather than quick gestures. And perhaps also with sharper body angles. But fewer fast 'modern' moves.

-Avoid NOT liking myself.
This is exactly what it looks like it means.
I (as the character) don't want to comment on what my behavior is like on stage. WHILE I'm on stage.
I need to be this character...someone who was brought up with the best of intentions of going into high society and succeeding but who just couldn't get through that final Emily Post etiquette class because of my fiery demeanor and lack of positive nurturing female influence. Someone who puts her own needs first, and has a list of who is a 'friend' and who is a 'frenemy' (which can change by the hour). Someone who enjoys being girly and sometimes takes it to catty.
Someone who sees the options of a bright future dwindling away as the father drinks the family money and name into oblivion--and who wants to be proactive about doing something to change that--but is a little too wound up and oversensitive about the subject in the first place to actually succeed in that endeavor.

Am I like-able? Well that's not for me to decide. I like myself. I feel sorry for myself and my 'lot' in life most of the time. I feel like I should have been 'born to higher things...here I droop my wings...aaahhhhhh---singing of a sorrow..nothing can assuage.'
hahahaha! if ONLY it was as easy as Cunegonde.

Someone who is SO driven that everything else is a blur. But someone who is somehow destined to not succeed. And there is always that drive to change that. And MAYBE that's what I finally see at the end--forgiveness and acceptance is the way that I can put my 'drive to success' to better use.
Just maybe.
But I'll still be pissed that I don't get to ride off into the sunset with my knight in shining armor.

act two already?

We've been in rehearsal for 5 days and all of act one is blocked already.
CRAZY!
I think this show is a runner-up to the most physical show I've had to do (and who knows what's in store in Act II).

From the start I get to FAIL at ballet twirls, trip over things, fall down the stairs twice, fall while I curtsy, fall while I run, fall while I am angry, fall while I am amused...you get the picture.
I'm a klutz but at the same time I know the RULES of being graceful and try to achieve that as the older more cultured child.
Fail.

So with Act I staged (and Act I finale staged...it's awesome), I have to say that I'm starting to feel the fun!

We are doing some repeating and plugging the chorus into the big scenes..and the more we repeat, the more opportunities I get to make what I'm doing feel impulsive, even though it has mostly been carefully "choreographed" at some places. I get to now find the motivation to make that choreography work.
Not just know that at measure 5 ON the downbeat we snap our heads left.
But find a reason for it and make it work.

Still on a pretty messed up sleep schedule, but otherwise I'm very much enjoying myself and will VERY SOON (really, now..) start to think about the upcoming things that I have to think about.

More on that and possibly being abroad for a number of weeks...another time.

chop chop

We opened up about three cuts today- one in a recit, and two in a quintet. For dramatic interpretation and for story line. Makes sense and adds about 4 minutes to the show in total.
Now if we could just re-open pages 326-329 I'd be a happy camper. Alas...it's almost always cut, and so will remain listed here as well.

Character work is getting trumped by plain old stage business for today with running about, fake falls, double takes, singing under a special, freezes, and generally just trying to figure out how to put this act I finale together!

reh.3

It's amazing when one person walks in the room, then walks onstage, and without saying a word or singing a note, brings the energy around him up to 200%.
Everyone was bursting. We all perked up. How one person's energy, fun and attitude can do this--I'm not sure--but it's inspiring and VERY fun.

reh.2

First staging rehearsal--well HELLO there character shoes, rehearsal skirts, boas, more boas, feathers, prancing about, and basically being a new person on stage..seeing that develop.

We have 2 lead mezzos double-cast, but the rest of the cast is single-cast, so it's fun to get to do everything one extra time, just to make SURE you know where that cross, fall, slap, or spin is.

It's always interesting to work with a new director, new conductor, new cast..and see how things are shaped.

Right now I'm enjoying figuring out how to make my character's desires strongest on stage, how to make sure I'm avoiding slapstick (the pitfall of many of this composer's comedies onstage), and also taking a trip down memory lane for how to be the oldest child...an older sister...with the perfect mix of mothering, teasing, and best friend all mixed in.

rehearsal day one

Ok, I didn't mess up the directions to the rehearsal space, I didn't crash my rental car into someone else on the highway while cautiously getting two lanes over for a quick exit that I didn't realize was coming up (and no one crashed into me), I dressed up appropriately (audition attire), heels, warmed up, didn't forget my score, didn't forget my pencil, didn't forget to have SOME breakfast, and voila- rehearsal day one can begin.

I met all of the cast besides one, conductor, director, opera staff--I THINK I have all of the names down, and we were off.
Music rehearsal number one- a sing-through.
Today was a bit more specific than a sing-through though--with specific thoughts about line and direction and interpretation ... input on tempi and finales, etc...to put everything together before we take it apart in our blocking.

It was really helpful, but also really tiring--to do that kind of work on a piece that you're just meeting for the first time- with seven other new people around you- trying to work as an ensemble.

But from what I can tell--this is going to be a terrific show.
I really like everyone's attitudes, the smiles (could have something to do with the BEAUTIFUL weather here), and the fun that I think we're all going to have to put this together.

Off to a good start. Now to end the day with a bedtime earlier than 3am would be nice.

lil' resolutions

I know it's not New Year's eve yet, but it's that time of year, when I get to think for a SECOND time about things that I want to change in the new year.
First I get it every Tishrei (usually September or October) and now again on the First.

It's easy to say you want to change things, and quite a bit harder to follow through. So why don't I start with the really little things that I think I can do--

1. Try to write...for FIVE minutes a day...about anything. Every. Day. (This of course requires going to Barnes and Noble and picking out a cool notebook to do said writing in). This is something I began last year around New Years as well. And I have the month or so that I was doing it to prove it..however last year I was trying to do artist pages...and that's more than 5 minutes. That's a minimum of 3 pages. Too long. Too messy (handwriting, that is). How about 5 minutes. Anything. My dream. What I'm going to do that day. A haiku so at least my brain tries to work a little more in the morning.

2. EVEN though I'm a devoted iLifer, REALLY try to limit my online checking of the mail, the facebook, the other mail, the nfcs, and the other time-sucking websites that I visit per day. This includes pressing the pretty button on the iphone that forwards my mail to me. And it also includes playing WordWarp on my iphone.

3. As prescribed by seemingly everyone these days: 30 minutes of exercise, 3 times a week. At least.

Those are three things that I can do! And one only takes 5 minutes ,and the other actually gives me MORE time in the day--to make time for the third.
Hurray.?.

Now to the longer term.
Doesn't it seem like whenever you are about to get busy with work and life that you want to do EVERYTHING else that's coming up as well?
Of course I'm about to leave for a gig which means daily rehearsals, one day off, 6 weeks of work, new opera, new character, new colleagues, new thoughts..and what do I want to do?
Open Next-score, summer-score1 and summer-score2, NEXT YEAR-score, and learn them ALL right now!
And added to that, revamp my consulting website so that next time I live in NYC I get to do it on my OWN terms.

Ok, I'll have to think of a long term list, but for now, I'll get to number 2- using the computer for time-sucking-activities less.

surrounded

I'm surrounded by most everything I've worn or used in the past 6 months.
Jackets in one bag. Shoes in another. Summer clothes in the suitcase.
Scores- always a question of whether I'll be productive backstage or not (more often than not, I'm NOT) and learn something new.

I always try to do a full checked bag and a carry on.
I think I'll succeed again this time (I'm planning on it, even though move-out day is tomorrow and everything is still in piles all around me).

merry xmas!

Time to gather with family, break out the stocking and Xmas ham...oh wait.
Just kidding.
I'll be eating chinese food for the next 3 meals and watching movies all night tonight and all day tomorrow.
That's how my people roll.
But not on Shabbos.

packing

I can't believe I'm packing up my nyc apt.!
I didn't bring much in the first place because I knew I'd only be here for just under 6 months.
But somehow I've amassed 5 more pairs of shoes/boots, anywhere between 10-20 new outfits from either the stores right outside my door that are just too cute to pass up (on sale of course), or when desperate times called for desperate measures- Strawberries and Century 21. OH yea.
More funky jewelry from the craft fairs and flea markets on saturdays and sundays, more music and photocopies of arias lying around for each time that I thought- I swear I have that aria, scoured the piles of paper, didn't find it, and had to go to NYPAL to make another photocopy of it..only to find it...in some binder where it definitely shouldn't be.

So what am I aiming for again?
Same as always.
One checked piece, one carry-on. And I'll have to take a garment bag this time because apparently the two opening night parties (2 locations) are black tie. Can we say junior year prom dress? It has served me SO well: Jr. Year, Recital, Philharmonic debut, and many many more events--where- HEY- it's NEW to YOU!

For now, I'm trying to sort through my summer clothes and remember which ones I like, which ones I still own but haven't worn in at least two summers (and avoid packing those EVEN though I'll try to convince myself that THIS time I'll wear them), and at the same time, leave out enough winter clothes to get through the next 10 days!!!

good news

Can it please come in threes?

No more comment on that.

Today was the BEST snow day in NYC!
I got to wear my white puffy snow boots that match my white puffy coat (something I've been waiting for the entire winter so far), I had a lovely lunch with friends, walked around the city in the cold and snow and sloshed through puddles, and saw a great movie with another friend tonight.

All in all, a much better way to spend Friday than AT WORK! And now I have 12 more days to enjoy the city and all of its wonders before New Years and next-job!

kind of done! (kinda)

Yayyyy!
Last audition of the FALL season went really well...I say fall because I'm already being scheduled for possible audition in January, and well, that would be winter, now wouldn't it.
Oh- so maybe last audition of 2008?
Better.

The breakdown:
(Since Aug.15)
Total: 22
16: Mainstage
The rest (I don't do math unless absolutely necessary): Young Artist of SOME sort

I'm not going to do the 07-08 and 08-09 comparison right now, but all in all, I think it was a good season of singing for me--considering that MANY singers did not get MANY mainstage auditions.

I think there are 3-5 companies, MAYBE, that I knew were in town that I wasn't singing for- either because of repertoire or just plain because.

What do I think?
Honesty now. It's the best policy.
21 out of 22 auditions I was extremely extremely satisfied/happy/excited with my performance.
1 (due to illness, that I should have canceled), I was extremely NOT satisfied with my performance.

My stats for starting aria: Mostly Durch, Sometimes Chacun, Once Zerbinetta, Once Fee, and overwhelmingly the 2nd piece choice was:
Young artist programs chose Rossini
Mainstage chose anything that was relevant in their upcoming season (English/Britten--no Glitter not even ONCE) :(

What do I do now?
Wait.
Try not to think about it.
Wait some more.
Try NOT to email to ask questions about my status.
Wait some more.
When I hear, I'll hear. And in the meantime, I will think patiently about the fact that my 'job' is finished, and now it is someone else's 'job' to push for me, sell the goods, and remind those nice people after their Christmas and New Year's break how much they loved me at my audition...and how since I'm still young they can get a GREAT deal on me! hahaha.

Will Sing For Chocolate. Yummm!

Oh yea, still haven't written that economic crisis/singing business entry yet.
It's coming. Really.

home stretch

Wow.
It's been a long few weeks of auditions--a great few weeks of auditions-- but long.
Sooner or later I'll post my little tally of who/what/etc. and compare to last year and do a little PIE chart. mmm, pie.

One more audition today, one more audition next week.
Maybe some other last minute ones if they come up? But right now my email inbox reflects only two red exclamation marks--which means two upcoming auditions.

Everything so far, in terms of mainstage auditions for future seasons, I would have to say has gone exceedingly well.

I have this last week and a half not to get re-sick with anything still going around.

I can't believe that in 18 days I'll be flying off to start the next show!
Oh, which reminds me--LEARN THE LAST TWO PAGES OF RECIT FOR NEXT-SHOW!

Hurray for work that is musical!
Hurray for meeting new cast and crew and opera peeps!
Hurray for WARM weather!

it's been so. long.

Ok, it's not even funny how long it's been since my last visit to the gym.
First the busted ankle, then two weeks of starting to train again, then two weeks of being too sick to get out of bed, then Thanksgiving, then auditions all last week, and now- it's Monday.

Re-motivating for the gym is the WORST!
For example:
1. IF I get my clothes on in 15 minutes, I could watch Oprah OR Law and Order at 4pm at the gym.
Yet, here I sit, checking my email, facebook, and watching the CURRENT episode of Law and Order (which I happen to not have seen---or, not remember seeing)...and the minutes inch towards 4pm. 14 left now.

2. Of course, the gym is 4 blocks and one avenue away.
And do you KNOW how cold it is outside?
How cold it will be for that entire 5 minute power-walk to central park west?
It was sooooo coooooold when I got home an hour ago. I couldn't even talk on my phone because my hands got too cold.
Who wants to go out in the cold? again?

3. I just ate some vegetables and rice. Am I going to feel bad at the gym if I go?
Should I have some protein? I ran out of emergen-C..and I need some flavored water for the gym.

4. My ankle is still kind of acting up.

So many excuses. So little time.
12 minutes to go.

decisions, decisions.

technique-y

Had a lesson yesterday where once again, through some concentration on another part of the body---back, shoulders, ribs, core, etc., I achieved the 'stereo' sound of up and back versus the 'mono' sound of out and over.
Out and over works fine and sounds fine, but is produced with less support and more muscling in the larynx.
Up and back ..well...it sounds like NOTHING to me, but on the recording, it sounds pretty awesome.

I sang through two pieces yesterday that are not part of my 'normal' audition repertoire--although they've been in my repertoire for a very, very, long time.

Deh Vieni and Caro Nome.
Why not sing some low Italian every once in a while?

And they both felt and sounded like they never have before.

Let's do that again!

i love it when

they ask for all of Zerbinetta for my 2nd piece.

Hurrah.