the real update

I'm in Panera (again, not still).
Listening to my recording from yesterday afternoon (the competition). They were nice enough to make us real backstage line-in recordings-- instead of having us ask friends to hold our minidisc recorders on their lap in the back row to try and get a decent recording.

My thoughts:

PIECE 1

First cadenza- no, no, no.
You can hear that I'm nervous. I am a bit under pitch each time I come back up to the E or D and that leads the whole thing to sag just a bit. Accompanist rushed the end of it for me. Seems like a mistake on my part, but really his.
AND I don't USUALLY fall flat on that. This time. I did.

Ugh. Not the best it's been. High note descend- awesome though.

First verse. Good. Pacing much better. French- duh- good.
Nothing is under. It's right on. Good phrasing.

First coloratura- on.

A1 slow part- good phrasing kinda. I could have been a tad more musically nice with the like

A2 slow part- equally good. These are the 2 sections I always feel like I either energize, or don't. And this time I did.

Second coloratura- (dang the pianist was rushing me!) good though. awesome end cadenza between this and Verse 2.

Verse 2- good French. it's better at this faster pace. The d's and e's are a TAD bit under. Because of my lack of breath control/support? Nerves? Or just the "norm"- passagio issues?

Oooh- that held D. GOOD! It's usually a bit under (in my ears).

Third Coloratura- ooh, first note- rocky. Under.
Piano Speed! This is too fast.
Coloratura is accurate but could have sounded less CRAZY if the accompanist had actually taken the tempo I had asked him before walking out onstage.

Last few notes:
On- ooh, those F's and D's are nice and not under.

Last NOTE- yup. I had it.



PIECE 2:
I'm having more fun with this because I LIKE it better and am more comfortable with it since I've sung it at more auditions and with more coaches.
I'm pushing umm, a bit? Because I'm excited about this and want to "act" it more I think.
It's not too much but it's having an effect on my sound. Not as clear as I was in Piece1.
Coloratura- YEA baby.
ON.

Coloratura- Damn that was good.

high note after coloratura- SWEEEEET.

Ooh, that breath was totally in the wrong place...but since no one knows when coloraturas are supposed to breathe in that passage anyway it doesn't matter! hahaha!!

Final "ah" cadenza- kinda exciting :) !


Ok, that was my first-listen breakdown.

Can you guess which pieces they were? mwahahaha.

Here are the judges comments which I remember.
1. You were the only person who didn't push or oversing. You sang with your own voice.
2. You have a crystalline voice, clear, silvery, it cuts well, keep doing what you're doing and never push.
3. Work on A through F. When you get lazy we notice it in the passagio in the form of notes just a bit under (how true). Work more not on the notes but on the support and overall line and that should take care of it.
4. Very good. You won so those are my only comments. Keep doing what you're doing.
5. For me, piece 2 sounded a bit more nasal in some lower passagio areas.
6. Excellent job, lovely voice, keep doing just what you did. Nothing more nothing less.
7. Sing for us sometime! (uhh, hellooooo?!!! You just rejected me, but thanks anyway!!!!)

Overall comment by all judges:
Your stage deportment, acting, commitment to character, balance onstage and body language and movement was excellent. It seems like you've done this before and you're a pro at it. Perfectly balanced. Lovely head position. Strong intentions...etc.

So- even though I have no set "moves" for these pieces, what I did seemed to work and it came off like I knew what I was doing and was commited to it.
Maybe commited to it is the key word. Even though I was just working with whatever came to mind, I was fully ALL over it and into it. That is when art works the best for me.
Not thinking about what I have "prepared" in terms of "moves", voice, etc.- but just doing what comes because of the art, music, language, etc. etc...(insert deep thoughts by me).


OK then!
Really, truthfully, I am going to write here that I did NOT listen to other singers (except the first three) live in the theater, so I can't really make a decision based on what I've heard if I "deserve" this. For me, this was NOT the best of performances.
I felt that although Piece1 improved as soon as the opening cadenza was over, it was not the strongest it's ever been. Exciting yes, fast yes, but I've sung it better. Mostly always.

And piece 2, while extremely vocally impressive, and while I'm sure I acted it extremely well and that came across, again- piano-vocal pacing issues, and some pitch issues (not SO noticeable, but enough for me to think that this isn't going SO well) really made me feel after I finished that- ok, I did well, but it's not good enough to move on to the Regionals.

And then my name was called.
And that was really exciting :)

So. I'm thankful for the opportunity to move on to the next level. I'm thankful for the feedback. I'm thankful for the opportunity to perform one of the arias that I'll be singing as a role in the next few months.
I'm just thankful that this is FUN.
Nerve-wracking, crazy, annoying, competitive, hard, yes....but also FUN! When you believe in yourself and someone else does too.
And no, this is not career-making or career-breaking.

It's what it is.
A competition. Not a role, not an audition, not a concert.

So now (I think) I know and believe (whether fair or not) that there are certain competition "winners" (pieces, people, attitudes, up-tempos) that just get it.

So this time it was me. I got it. And I'm thankful for that and for what it was.