breathe in, breathe out

So many things.
First, this is my 201st post. Well, it's really more than 201 since my first 20 or so posts were imported all in one day in a large cut and paste operation, but still. Woo hoo.

Second.
Went back to yoga class today. It was awesome after 2 months off. I REALLY REALLY need to figure out how I'm going to do more exercise in these freezing months of winter in current-state of current-yap. I can't go outside anymore. It's too cold to even warm the car up to go to a gym. There is a treadmill in the building next door that I can use and a few free weights, and the bike machine. MAYBE I'll come up with some sort of plan... maybe. Ha.

Third.
Had first staging rehearsal for world premiere opera with famous american contemporary composer of famous "great american" novel. It's going to be really awesome.
LONG, but awesome.

Fourth.
Don't remember what rep. I sent to MONCA for the competition, so I have to bring like 3 lists to the thing and it's in a week and a day. Yikes. Don't know what I want to start with, OR what I want to have on my list.

Fifth.
I think I've decided against pulling the string of idea mentioned below.
I think that no matter what happens here next year, I will gain things this summer if I pursue competitions, language immersion, travel, and actually have the summer. To do learning of my own, and not 4 semi-costumed, staged scenes with piano- plus a cover...maybe.
Have until tomorrow to make the final decision.

Sixth and related but wish it was unrelated- I wish I knew what was going on here next year.
I feel good about why they took me, and what I've done so far to show them that I continue to do good work here.
I feel like there is a definite role for me in one of the operas next year and it's a good role to have under my belt.
I feel like- why would they replace me with another coloratura? If anything, would they just not want a coloratura for next year? Is THAT what I'm up against, or is it another person? or is it budget?
I just don't have any idea of what may happen, and I am not confident that the verbal discussion when I was accepted last year will translate into a contract for me or any other singer here this year.


bla.