and that, my friend, is Closure!

Finally received word about last-summer-yap today. I'm "officially" on the waitlist, but head of last-summer-yap handwrote a note to me saying that it was a pleasure to hear me, keep up the good work, and sing for them again next year.
All of which I"M taking to mean--- this was the most polite way of letting me down easy-- although I DO know singers from last year who just plain got rejection letters! I'm just glad that I can stop waiting around for a letter now.

So. One more program left to hear from.

But there is a new development that I've been thinking about.

Yap-from-2-yrs-ago.
I did really good work for them. I continue to have a good relationship with the artistic administrator. I know that someone last year "pulled a string" and was accepted because something fell through and they had nothing to do at the last minute, so they joined the young artists there for the summer.

Now, it's not that what I had fell through. I did not apply to Yap-from-2-yrs-ago because it takes place at a certain time in the summer when I am usually not in this country, and visiting my family elsewhere.
I rescinded my application to them last year for this purpose, and did not apply to them this year for this purpose.

HOWEVER. They ARE doing something where ONE role cover would be really relevant for me.

The question is- do I lightly pull the string and see what happens?

The larger question is, yet again, WHY do I feel the NEED to pull the string?
To return to a place I've already been (wouldn't really be making any new contacts), add ONE cover to my resume from a medium-high level program?
If indeed there are PLENTY of singers out there who are not doing summer programs, why do I feel this need to get into one and somehow prove something?

Ok, here is the deal I'm making with myself right now.
Current-yap is supposed to tell me SOON if I'm going to be here next year.
IF I'm here, WHY do I care about summer Yaps?
I should NOT do something for the summer, precisely because I'll have lines on my resume through 2008 if I'm here next year already, and no one will care to see if I did a Yap in the summer or not.

IF I'm here next year, why don't I spend this summer trying to commit to my personal relationships, my best friend's wedding (seriously!), a language immersion course that I've been meaning to take for years, and traveling to see my family across the world?
Oh yea, and doing all of those singing competitions that take place in May and June and trying to win some MULAH!?

Ok.
Deal.

I hope I find out if I'm here next year soon.