I'm not sure how exactly to write about this, but I'll try to put it in words that don't make it sound like I'm complaining.
See, most people, when they get to visit their family or their family visits them, get a vacation. Yay- mom and dad are coming in for the weekend. Aunt, Uncle, grandparents.
I don't have work, we can plan this museum and that show, this dinner, and have an exhausting and fun weekend. And that's that.
But in my world, or rather, in the opera singer world, when family comes to visit, you are at work.
And actually, it's the reason that they're coming to visit. Of course, also to see you, but also to see the show that you're in.
And I should be happy about that, right?
But sometimes I just get this longing to just see my family when I WANT to see them- not to feel as if they already don't see me enough and have to come to the show as well AND want to see me after/before the performance.
I'm a pretty calm person in general when I have performances. Whether I'm nervous or not, the only routine I really try to stick to is waking up as late as possible, warming up a few hours before the show, and trying not to talk TOO much before the show.
Well-- when you have family coming to visit for the weekend of a show, it turns into- who will pick them up from the airport? Where will we have lunch? Can they see me for an early dinner? And then- I'm called to the theater.
And of course the next day when I would sleep in as late as possible and take it easy on my day off, it's filled with activities of my 'city'- which, I usually know nothing about SINCE I've been here for WORK, and not vacay.
They are not demanding- but sometimes I just start to think that it's not WORTH their WHILE to "just" come to the opera...since they want to see me. So I start to think about all these things that I should do with them or COULD do with them...that would work with my pre-show routine.
I know, I know, I should feel LUCKY that they all have the time and money to even come see me in the shows. I just feel a bit strange about it still, after all these years.
It's like I don't really want there to BE a reason that they are visiting. I want them to just come see me. Not me dressed as a certain character, singing a cute/fun opera on stage. That's not ME- that's my job. Yes, I love my job, but the character is a character- someone that I have worked to put together, something that I do which brings me passion and joy and laughter, but is also a lot of hard work..and...WORK.
And of course, if I was not here right now, I'd be across the ocean...making a visit from family much tougher and more rare.
I just get this strange feeling sometimes.
Feeling like I wish there was more to me and visiting me than just 'my next performance'.
That's all I have to say about that for right now...