22 November, 2009

jinxed

Well, it happened. Possibly the most important audition of my career so far--and I have the flu.
Yep. I had an amazing week of coachings and lessons leading up to the weekend. I knew it COLD and loved it. I was feeling so so so good. Was taking SUCH good care of myself- didn't see ANY friends in ny. Didn't go out. Walked in the crisp air as much as possible. Used the subway twice...and then...the crosstown m86!!!! (I'm blaming this one hour bus ride during rush hour for me somehow getting the flu...it makes me feel better).
Yep, this gross and overly full bus with people, their dogs, little children...everything disease carrying about new york city. I took it because it was getting dark and a bit cold too (right before the crappy weather change that probably confirmed me getting sick).
And lo and behold, Thursday morning I woke up feeling not so great. Could still sing, still had a coaching and a run-through of the repertoire.
And then...Friday.
No amount of mucinex, alleve, gargling, or any other otc remedy could even prepare me for the pain that would be Saturday- complete body aches, chills, no sleep at all for two nights, feeling awful..and still..somehow WISHFUL thinking that ...oh yea... it's just a cold or a throat thing. I can get over it by Sunday.
SURE.
I didn't even know I had a fever! And I thought the chills were just...hmm...ok, ooh, I don't feel good so yea, I have the chills.

Ha.Ha.
Not so much. Went to see an ENT on Saturday thinking- ok, maybe if it's something in my throat she can give me some antibiotics and make it go AWAY by tomorrow!
She took one look at me (even though I wrote down I had no fever..but had all the other symptoms of FLU), and said- you're a walking infection. You have the flu.

Thanks.

So the non-sleeping, horrible coughing, throat aching, body shaking, headache-y, MESS that I was for the past 3 days was apparently not just some small cough that I thought I could kick.

FIrst I'm annoyed because I've never had the flu.
And I don't.get.sick very often EVER. And even if I do, it's NEVER bad enough to affect my singing from being 100% to maaayyybe 90%...and if less, I wouldn't sing.
ONE time last year I had to be put on steroids AND sing 2 final performances of an opera. ONE TIME. Out of HOW many roles and operas that I've done...ever??

So yes.
I'm EXTREMELY frustrated and disappointed. And I truly hope this opportunity hasn't passed me by.
I'm still feeling awful, frankly...and I'm supposed to get on an airplane tomorrow (don't worry I don't have a fever anymore)....
It will be one LONG flight.
And of course, I hope I get better by my NEXT performance--which is SUNDAY!

No fun Turkey day for me this year..I'll be away from home, and skyping my fam to see what the desserts that I'm not partaking of look like.

Anyway, what more can I say?
It's frustrating to feel so good and so ready for something that COULD be so big...and then..nature and body rebel.
It's not my FAULT I got the flu. I am not any more susceptible to it than the next person (except, well, I really really really tried to be extra careful this week)...
It's just a crappy situation that I HOPE will somehow turn out ok in the end.

If all things truly DO happen for a reason---that's getting a little zen/religious on myself...then...everything will still be ok.

Back to my chamomile tea...awaiting my next dose of inhaler and tamiflu.
So.Not.Cool.

1 comment:

notesonapage said...

Oh, man. : ( So sorry this happened to you. I hope you get to audition another time, when you are 100%!! Get well soon.