Don't keep reading if you don't want to hear about girly hormonal issues and singing.
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What the F.
Felt totally fine yesterday. Was singing fine..bla bla bla.
Today I go in for a lesson, have a light, nice and easy warm up, and then all of a sudden, I can't sing right. Anything. The breath is bouncy, I can't center myself, I'm focusing too much on one thing and just not having fun.
There is no smile in my face, no bright eyes, just annoyance that it's not coming easily unless I push it in there.
I ask myself--what could possibly be going on?
I mean, I know it's around 'that time' but, to make that much of a difference that someone would say that I don't sound anything like I did the last time I was there and it was free and easy and light and bright and RIGHT (most importantly)...
GOD it just felt awful. Because I couldn't really FEEL what I was doing.
And then at the very end I found it again on some runs and high notes in Glitter and the end of Zerb...but still. How frustrated am I! Very.
And I have to sing a competition in 2 hours.
not.cool.
I think it's time for the 2nd shower of the day and to try and relax.
To be completely honest I think I also aimed to please a bit too much today with this teacher, since it's still a new person that I'm studying with, and I just can't do that.
Singing is fun. It's joyful. It makes me happy. I like being other cool characters. I like beautiful music. I like playing around on stage.
I just have to do what I know how to do.
3 comments:
It's absolutely the worst when your body rebels against you for no apparent reason. Everything that normally comes out easy you're struggling for, and then you make things worse by being frustrated. I'm sorry I hope things straightened themselves out because that's probably one of the most frustrating things...
thanks for that:)
I think you summed it up yourself the best: You just have to do what you know how to do... it's your passion, it's what you love. There will always be off days but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.
I just sang for a panel of voice faculty for an evaluation. It was my first time singing for strangers and my first time singing with an accompanist. I got through it but was bitterly disappointed in myself and my performance. Obviously I'm not glad to read that you're going through this, but it does make me feel a little better to know that even professionals like yourself have moments of self-doubt. Thanks for sharing your feelings.
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