the 411---real part I

Ooook. Yesterday started just like any other day.
Rehearsal begins at one, and me trying to decide whether to haul my butt to the gym or not at any point before then.
Order of events via text between me and my agent:
12:something
A: why are you always in a production when they need a last minute Zerbinetta?
Me: dammmmmmit....seriously?
A: Yes.
Me: Booooo...When/where?
A: Brazil- Now.
At that point, a phone call to share more info.
Another agency heard about this last minute replacement through a S. American agent, my agent doesn't have more info. because the other American agent is in a meeting, but if I want to be submitted, they can submit me.
Me- ok--I know it would mean giving this up right now, but Zerbinetta is the role I really need to be singing in my career, and WILL be singing in my career--so, if the decision has to be made about pulling out of this contract, it may have to happen.

Fast forward to the hours between 1-4pm (I'm in rehearsal, but really only paying attention to when I'll get the next text)
Texts:
A: I'm submitting you. Don't know the chances. Will get back to you
M: Guess I have to get the score and brush it up!

More calls to let me know that:
-They can't take an American citizen because of visa issues, do I have my "other nationality" passport? Yes--but not here--it's a 5 hour car ride away.
-It's 80% sure, it's 90% sure, you may have to talk to your director and exec. director about this contract.....it's 95% sure.

Me, in the meantime--after rehearsal, and going to the local U. music library and getting the score...(FREAKING out with excitement!!) OMG. Zerbinetta. Ok, well I've staged and sung the entire commedia act. I've coached and 'scene' staged the rest, but it's been a while. Can I really revisit these FORTY pages of Strauss insanity/recit? AND memorize it by a performance on Thursday night?
OH GOD.
And what about what I'm doing right NOW? How do I just leave them? Ok, no, this happens ALL the time...I mean, people get a call, they get a call. They leave one place for a better place. They leave for more press, bigger house, more money--I can't believe this is happening, and it's already happened like FOUR times already this year with NONE of those times working out..and NOW, the ONE time where I'm freaking out that it's happening because this is my 'hometown' opera company and I really wanted to always have good ties with them and do a good job and feel like I give back to them as much as they gave to me during my younger years just starting out.

Now,
Who can I tell about this while the frantic text messages and emails are flying?
NO ONE!
My parents are on vaycay in the Bahamas, everyone I know is at work, my coach is coaching...and there was NO one that I could run this by...it didn't need to be someone in the business..it just needed to be someone with AN opinion...preferably a calming one...that yes, I could do this, Yes, I SHOULD do this be it offered to me, and YES, everything WILL BE OOOOOKKKKK!!!

....later that night...after checking out the score and convincing myself that yes, I could re-memorize the Vorspiel by Thursday night....
9:30
A: Call the exec. director. This is pretty much happening unless they can't fly you down there or pay you enough to do it
ME (ohmygodohmygodohmygod): ok.

AND THEN---at approximately 9:37----
NOPE. It's not happening even though they were ready to put me on a plane.
Complications that shall not be discussed here...but suffice it to say, I impressed the people that needed to be impressed, and although it didn't work out this time, who KNOWS about next time (when it's actually SCHEDULED and not a last minute substitution)

I'll have you know that I was excited/freaked/nervous/happy/anxious and any and every other emotion throughout the entire day.
And for dinner (since I was too crazed to eat lunch or dinner) I treated myself to a large glass of chianti AND (DO NOT JUDGE) a Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich.
I'm NOT a fastfood girl, EXCEPT for this ONE scrumptious sandwich which I ONLY allow myself a few times a year when I'm on really long road-trips.


And just like that, a 95% percent certainty was back down to zero again.
This life is LOCO and I LIKE it!