Pounding the Pavement

This is the first time in a LONG time that I find myself-- not as fully employed as I'd like to be.
Obviously, 2013 started off with a bang, and that's great. That alone on my resume/cv would be 'fine' for this year, but- as someone who usually has 4 or 5 productions per year, to dwindle down to 2 (so far) is not that great.
I know, it's April. I'm not 100% sure that something else won't come up before 2014 rolls around.
But it's still not a situation I've been in since...oh...just about ever!
Sure when I was doing my undergrad and grad I only had time for one summer program, but then- full year residency, and even in the 'gap' year of moving to NYC for auditions I had 4 professional gigs.

So what am I doing about it? Well, I suppose as much as I can, thinking both inside and outside the box.

Trying to get in touch with every theater I've previously auditioned for with 'positive' things to say about the audition. Trying to get my name out there to previous orchestra conductors that may have concert work. Asking my manager to ramp up anything they can on my behalf since I haven't found myself in this type of situation before. I know from other colleagues who have also been 'professional covers' for a few years that this could be an option as well- if the repertoire is right and there is no resident artist covering the 'big stuff'.

It's equal parts frustrating and inspiring- ok, more frustrating I suppose.  Frustrating that there is only so much I can do, frustrating that it's already a certain 'time' in the season and so many things are already cast, frustrating that I don't have the direct emails to houses that may be doing modern works in their next few seasons to say- hey! pick me, pick me! I'm good at it!, (and even if I did, they wouldn't pay more than 2 seconds of attention since the email is not coming from a manager anyway!), and yes, frustrating that I now have to look back at my fall and ask myself whether or not something should have been different about the 'audition' season that I have (or didn't have, actually).

Inspiring because- yes, there are people who are happy to hear from me and my good news/updates, give me great feedback, and say they can't wait to work with me again in the future. Inspiring because it makes me want to be BETTER at what I do- to find new rep, to find new coaches, to try out a teacher or two, to delve into what I do and make it the best that it can be for whatever comes next.

And then of course, frustrating again.
Here's to pounding the pavement via email, and hope something comes out of it...sooner rather than later.

Closing Night and 'the biz'

And just like that, 4 shows later- it's all over.
Final performance was this evening and everything was electric again. I wish we had 2 more performances! Or 10.
Working with such a talented team of creative directors has really been one-of-a-kind on this show. The treatment of the piece was so new and so - how many times can I say creative? - so...so....just...awesomely fantastic that we all knew we put together a great show and were just hoping beyond all hopes that this big city audience agreed with us.

Since I haven't sung in the States since a certain little someone graced my life last year, this is the first time in over a year that I'm getting REALLY great press, and since the show was so well received on top of that, I'm reallllly hoping that this media blitz goes somewhere.
It's already my 'norm' in the 'business of singing' routine to do my own update emails and let people know every 6months to one year about my whereabouts, etc.- but this time it's big enough that I'm hoping this actually translates to calls or emails being made by my managers on my behalf to get the word out to specific theaters that may have 'modern' programming coming up, places I haven't yet sung for that now have the 'excuse' of a great review to make a first inquiry or a first impression, etc.

I don't want to be considered a 'niche' singer of only contemporary/modern music- I love Mozart and Strauss WAY too much- but if this is a way to make a good first impression and if anyone is programming this kind of stuff in the future and needs an 'agile and magnetic' coloratura soprano- I'll take it!

opening night

Haha, remember that one time when I did an entire gig without blogging once until after opening night?
Oh yea, that's now!!!

SO. I've been here for 4 weeks. Opening night was last night.
It's been one of my hardest gigs yet. Actually, THE hardest besides the crazy opera that I agreed to sing at  weeks after having a baby last year.

This piece is hard. The music is hard. The direction was something completely new. We were all behind it, and after a LOT of rehearsal and a LOT of hard work by all-- we pulled it off last night.

Bla bla bla, a lot of rehearsals,
Bla bla bla, a lot of sleepless nights including one bout of the flu and one horrible head cold/allergy leading right up to opening night,
Bla bla bla, I hope I sing all the notes right since the composer is sitting in the 3rd row...

But yes, it was all good. And I'm happy to once again report that I have been able to learn a crazy-modern piece, and make it feel like- Mozart. Ok, well Strauss at least.

'making it'

I just want to report that I have some colleagues in the business with whom I sang in young artist programs when we were very young who are now -- singing at the MET!
A. This is awesome.
But, even more interestingly, B- they were not necessarily the 'chosen ones' in our programs together. It's just a little tid-bit I feel that I have to mention.

The people that I know who are there are not singing leading roles, they are singing supporting roles, but nonetheless at the MET. They are in their mid-30s, and I sang with them when they were in their late 20s.  TWO are in the chorus (and making bank, apparently), and the ones onstage are men.

Now- how does that really breakdown in terms of statistics? Well, two of them who were in a certain program with me were told they would NOT make it upon exiting the program. And that it wasn't about their talent, but it was about their drive, their attitude in the business, etc. I know, tough love- which of course didn't make the NEXT few years easier for these guys I'm sure.
And now- nah nah nah boo boo--- they're MET singers and of course haven't been hired by the previous program or even considered being asked to return after their 'departure'.

I'm of course on the other side of the ocean and not a 'local' anymore, so I don't really consider the MET the end-all and be-all and my next 'step'.

There might be more to this conversation, but for now let's just say that you can't take every criticism as the end-all and be-all of what your career will be like. Obviously technical issues have to be worked out, yes. Obviously you have to have the raw talent and skill on stage, etc.
But- sometimes you can prove the nay-sayers wrong.

radio silence

It's been a bit hectic around here...

Things are calming down a bit-
If by calming down you mean that I have 1 month and one week before I have to show up for rehearsal.
Um, there is still a lot of work to be done.

There are about 5 pages I just can't -  the notes come out of nowhere at breakneck speed, in 9/8 alternating with 2/4 and 5/8.  I'm over it. Kinda.

 Except that I have to sing it correctly.

Kinda.

Hopefully.

more modern music

The score is about 300 pages long. I have to sing approximately 127 of those pages.
Currently I can SORT OF sing 40 of them, LOOKING at the music, counting my @ss off, and HOPING that the notes with 2.5 octaves in between them are coming out correctly.


2.5 months left.

O.
M.
G.

The things that are easy...are easy.

What's hard is:
The INSANE counting and meter changes that happen SO much and in no particular pattern and every time one 'beat' or one tripelet 'off' -ie, different than the last time.
The fact that sometimes it's just a high G to low G jump with a C in the middle, but all the OTHER times it's G to Fsharp to C, Gsharp to G to Eflat, and so on and so forth- just that little TINIEST 'note' off again- like the beast.

Could I ever just get a pattern? How bout some ABA old-school music here? Haendel anyone?


Thank the unicorns it's in English at least. No trouble memorizing text or words. Just have to know what note and beat they all come on!

runner-up

Well, apparently it was between me and one other soprano for the role as of yesterday. And today I'm the runner up. Only, since this isn't a competition, I didn't get any 2nd prize winnings, nor can I write runner-up anywhere on my resume.

At least I got realllly positive feedback -- ha.
But again, in the end just wasn't what they chose.
O.K.
That's kind of what I expected in the first place, and honestly, I'm kind of shocked and flattered at the same time that I *was* even the runner-up.

So- there you go. Maybe next time they have something that's more 'my' repertoire they'll remember and think of me!

auditions in castles

This past weekend I traveled to Belgium for an audition for a summer festival that is held in a castle. With a moat. and other castle-y stuff. Like those gardens with the perfect hedges and you're like who has time to get this 90 degree angle so amazingly perfect? The castle garden people.

So anyway, the audition was for Rigoletto. Yes, yes, a role that I can sing, that I haven't sung, and that is cast dramatically/lyrically heavier than me MOST of the time, but certainly has a historical casting of coloraturas the cut as well.

So I sang Gilda. Yes, I learned this aria when I was 15. No, I have never been asked for it EVER except for ONE time in an audition in - I think - 2005. I THINK.

Anyway, I spent the last 2 weeks or so practicing it every day, finding the nuance again, getting it up to snuff. And if I do say so myself, I think the audition went quite well.

No, they won't hire me if my actual vocal weight and timbre is not what they are looking for. But I do know the panel was impressed (especially with the cadenza that I sang at the very very end of the aria, which, is actually Gilda's exit in the score and rarely offered in shorter auditions), and then when they asked for Koenigin second and proceeded to ask me about EVERY conductor in Europe that I've sung it with, I supposed they were having as jolly good of a time as I was.

THINGS:
1. This was my first (I think?!) Post-baby audition. I wore the same outfit that I have been wearing for auditions since 2004. Yes, people, 2004.  it's wrinkle-free and CLASSIC.
I am somewhere between 8-13 pounds away from my pre-baby weight/wedding weight (I'm just trying to get to pre-baby at this point...German chocolate is not helping). Those pounds are currently found in my boobs, a pooch, and like maybe 1/4 of an inch on either thigh. But with the help of a glorious product that I wear ANYWAY called SPANX, everything was 'in ordnung'.
I fit into my regular clothes, just not the 'same as before'- which is, annoying.
I have no grounds to buy new clothes. They all fit- buuut the sweaters are a tad short b/c of the boob thing, the pants are a tad tight because of the pooch thing... you get the drift. A bigger size won't help that since otherwise my measurements have remained the same.

2. When you haven't slept more than 4 hours at a time since January of 2012, your entire world view on whether one legato line was as perfectly executed as possible is changed.

3. I did a GOOD job and felt good. But I know I have more work to do. The voice is easy. It's HIGHER (not that I need any MORE high notes). It's supported. But- I want time for coachings and lessons and feeling like I'm "IN" this like I used to.

4. I need to stop eating German chocolate and start going jogging with the baby in the stroller because apparently I will most likely be on the verge of nude in upcoming-production.
Nothing like a 2.5 month deadline to get you working...uhh...I mean, procrastinating.

I'm still here!

There hasn't been much on the musical front since the opening of the show, followed by a good 2nd performance one week later (in between I had a huge huge cold and had chicken soup for every meal every day).
NOW it's time to learn next-role.
Modern. Yet again. Counting. Yet again. The notes aren't hard. I mean, they are 'high', but not higher than 'normal' ie, Koenigin.
Have I mentioned that I don't like when music is math?
The music is all math right now.
Triplets, Quintuplets, whatever...meter changing every other measure. It hurts my head.
I reallllly need to make some progress.
As of tomorrow I have exactly 3 months to learn it and have it ready for the first rehearsal.

Premiere for realz

Ok, now that I've been sick from Sunday until Friday and I'm finally feeling better I will write about the Premiere!!!
First Zerb everrrrr! hurrrayyy!
Ok, since my throat was itchy and I felt like I couldn't really hear myself (congested in the head I guess), I didn't do anything on the day except for a 30 minute massage (awesome!). Then some light food, gathered up my ricola and pineapple juice and water and headed to the theater 2 hrs before the show for my makeup and wig call.

Did a bit of lip trilling, warmed up - I actually LIKE when I have early calls because that just means that I have all that extra time to warm up and it's right before the show starts. So I'm not sitting in makeup wishing I could do lip trills 15 minutes before curtain.

First act always went by in a blur. The duet was FINE- let's just say, JUST fine because I'm not generally so gung ho about it anyway. I know, it's the 'honest' part of my character, but it's just so ...lyric... I guess?

2nd act- got in the mood with my little black and pink number and tophat...
Warmed up a bit in the dressing room but didn't sing through anything.
And then it was a breeze.
I mean, I was sweating buckets by the time the aria was over, but I felt like I nailed it musically and dramatically.
Plus it doesn't hurt when the audience claps for a realllly long time after the aria! I'll take it!

Even though I had to stay ON STAGE for the entire rest of the show, I felt great. Sang my last little tidbit of a line, and voila- it's all over!

The 'important' people that needed to like it, came up to me and said they liked it.

Next show is in 2 days. I am still coughing a little bit and sometimes stuffy so I really want to kick this thing pronto, BUT on the other hand, I know I can sing on something like this. Now it's just a little tail end of the cold. Not a big deal.

Premiere!

Remember that time I sang Zerbinetta for the first time? Me too!
Only what I DON"T have is time to blog about it right now since immediately following the first show (well, kinda even during it, but I dealt w/it) I got a HUGE nasty cold. Still recovering now with the aid of hot water/ginger/lemon/honey and 2 batches and counting of home-made chicken soup.
Next show is on Sunday so I have to be better.
So far it's out of my throat and face (for the show I was fine vocally, but just felt like I couldn't hear that well and my throat was a bit itchy), I got past the blow my nose every 4 seconds phase yesterday, and today is the weird-bronchial cough-up-nasty-phlegm day... which will HOPEFULLY signal that this thing is almost over. I'm REALLY trying not to cough a lot. Just get this stuff OUT!
Also, not medicating at all since I'm still BFing...but so far I'm feeling WAY better than yesterday, and I hope it only gets better from here.
More on the ROLE debut later, I suppose.
But let's just already put it out there that- I had fun. I sweat- a LOT. Singing the aria is NOTHING compared to the vocal demands of singing the entire 2nd act. It was super super fun and I want to do it again whenever I get the chance.

Good night.

4 days until opening

So...the show is over-rehearsed, but under-rehearsed all at the same time.
We've never run the WHOLE thing (meaning, act 1 and 2), but we've run each segment over and over and over until we got the note to do 'less', and we got the note to stop chattering when we're supposed to be 'mouthing' dialogue and interest in what's going on.
We are over-staged in the REHEARSAL room and not the stage, and under-staged because we've yet to do anything with orchestra besides a 45 minutes sitzprobe for each act, and OH YEA, we will SKIP over your aria and work on the end because that's 'harder' for them to play...soooo--no orchestra for me until our GeneralProbe tomorrrow night. Thanks.
Also- the costumes are ..interesting. I know I didn't "just" have a baby, but I still have 6ish pounds to lose (ok 10 if I want to be back to the pre-baby WEDDING body), and my boobs are BIG and my child-bearing hips are - child bearing....but PLEASE do not try and fit me into the same costume as the 4 ft 8 Russian soprano who weighs 95 pounds and sang this 6 years ago.
I'm supposed to be the image of coquette-ish-ness on stage... no matter what I'm wearing, fishnets, jean shorts, black lingerie... so, let's all get on the ball here and make me feel Sexay. Thanks.

TOMORROW we have to run the show in the morning with orchestra and no costumes/makeup and tomorrow night is the last rehearsal. Then dark day, and then- it's Saturday!

I know it'll all be ok. It's always these last minute things that seem like they're the end of the world... And then everything is fine again.
I'm just looking forward to doing it with orchestra!

2 weeks left

The show is staged and we still have 2 full weeks of rehearsal!
It's bare-bones right now, meaning, we know the blocking and 'why' it's happening, but we haven't done it more than once or twice (except for the 2nd act which we finished the first 5 days I was here).
So- it is done! Now we run thru and run thru and run thru until opening plus 2 BO's with orchestra and a new conductor who was just assigned to the show because the conductor we're supposed to have has been written sick for 3 weeks. Yep, that happens here. I don't know what has to be wrong with you, but it is possible to be an ADULT and get a Doctor's note to NOT go to work. Uh- that's awesome! And you don't even have to plagiarize your dad's signature to get out of gym class in 11th grade because it's way cooler to hang in the Student Council Office and pretend to be doing something very important for our educational development in there for 42 minutes instead of going to gym, getting on the clothes that stunk yesterday and still stink today, warming up for 5 minutes and then doing presidential fitness tests for the remaining 20 minutes or running the MILE or something equally as awful.

Hello-Run-On-Sentence.

Ok, yes. We're staged. Yes, I know my motivation or have 'made it up/made it work'. Very excited to be moving on to run-throughs and the orchestra rehearsals so that I feel like this is a role that I've sung for years and can whip out at a moment's notice.

rehearsal days 1,2,3 and 4!

To make a VERY long story short, the place we are subletting was sublet to another person for the first half of the summer. That person didn't find it necessary to take the trash out, clean out the fridge, clean the apt, do the laundry, or for that matter do ANYTHING considerate of someone else moving in shortly after him. So, we arrived here to an apartment that was filthy and filled with dead flies. Everywhere. After the initial shock and immediate call to a cleaning service, I could relax into what would be my first evening rehearsal just 2 hours later.
Fast Forward 24 hrs.
The apartment is CLEAN and live-able, my first staging rehearsal went fine, first musical coaching went fine, now almost the entire "opera" act is staged and that is what is most challenging in terms of blocking. In this production I'm on stage. The. Entire. Time.  Thanks, whoever directed this 6 years ago. Thanks a lot. Of course right before my 11 minute aria I have to dance, jump off of a bar into the arms of 4 men and sashay around with a tophat. OF COURSE.

Got good work done in 2 musical rehearsals and have a rehearsals with the Intendant tomorrow- he's our conductor for this production.

Staging is going fine except that we're being 'plugged in' to a previous production. Without the original director there, it's a lot of 'let me refer to my notes which makes no sense, oh wait, let's turn on the dvd and see what they did in 2006'.
So, a LOT of standing around, waiting what to be told to do. No real 'process' you could say.

That doesn't make it any less artistic, I just get fewer choices so in essence, I have to take the choice that's already been made for me and make it work. Commit to it, and find a reason for it to have happened.

So far baby-momma-opera-momma is working out just fine.
The little one is not 3 months old like last time around, where it was on-the-clock feedings every 3 hours or else screaming commenced. No, now I am not as worried about stretching out a feeding for a 4 hour block of time that I'm called to the theater. I'm not pumping either, YET! Got some FREEZER storage for every time I miss 'bed-time' (which, actually, is kind of often, since it's 8pm and rehearsals go until 9). But since we live about 4 minutes walk away from the opera, I'm going to maybe ask our director to have our evening break at a set time: ie, we rehearse from 6-9pm, always break from 7:30-7:50... and that will be enough time to have the little one brought to me for his last meal before bedtime.

Navigating opera-life again is fun. I'm excited to go to rehearsals. I love this music. I love doing what I'm doing. And just as equally, I love coming home to the little one and reading books and playing with airplanes on the floor.

approximately 45 minutes

Between 4:18 until 4:56 I did a decent vocal warmup and sang through all sections of upcoming-role.
So I really do just need 45 minutes a day. I have to be able to find those somewhere, right?!
I've performed the majority of the 2nd act previously, so this always feels flexible and good. And this is the 'long haul' quintet, 12 minute aria, quintet.
What needs more finesse is the first act. Small interjections that are 'talk-y', and of course, the big duet.
I think I can I think I can!

remember that one time...

...when I had TIME to do things?
Things that I wanted to do?
Things that I needed to do?

Things that didn't involve breastfeeding every 3 hours, changing poopy diaper explosions, wiping chewed up soggy banana pieces off of all of my clothes, wiping chewed up soggy banana pieces off of all of HIS clothes, wiping chewed up soggy banana pieces off of everything in the kitchen?

Yea, I don't remember that either.

This is not a direct response to my friend and colleague's recent HAPPY announcement that I am so super-duper-excited for her about:
http://jenniferrivera.squarespace.com/blog/2012/7/26/the-perils-of-being-a-preggo-performer.html

Just a happy coincidence that both were choosing the topic of pregnancy/babies/motherhood and opera-singer-mom-hood-ness.

Yes, it's all amazing, bubbles, rainbows, and sparkly unicorns too-- I mean, babies are magical things. The smiles that I get are absolutely unforgettable and when he laughs my eyes light up and my heart is full.

But, I'll take anything at this point. 20 minutes?
Of course now that it's 10:45pm I can't bust out Zerbinetta's aria or anything.

Here's to muscle memory, learning through osmosis and just going all out next month no matter how much time or lack there of I have now. Prost.

T minus 4 weeks

It's 2am so I suppose it's Thursday-- and that means I have precisely 4 weeks until the THURSDAY that I begin my next opera rehearsals.
Ummm, guess what I'm going to start doing tomorrow? Yep, that's right- walking around town with the libretto printout to test my memory. Over. and Over. and Over again. Until it rolls off of the tip of my tongue like.. butter? honey? spit? spun silk? Well, whatever it is-- til it's in there.

Why am I up at 2am on Thursday you ask? No, not because of the baby who is sleeping soundly in HIS OWN CRIB in HIS OWN ROOM (#winning)! Most likely because it's finally hitting home that yes, I am working again in one month. This role is BIG and EXCITING and I want so much to do an amazing job on it. So yea, that whole anxiety mixed with excitement at what is next thingamajig.
Which obviously is NOT helpful at 2am when I can't practice and I'm sitting in the dark typing out the libretto.

One last thing that I'd like to do is find a coach and go through the piece once a week for the next month-- that is easier said than done since everyone is on summer break!

Ok. Forcing myself to turn the computer off. In 3, 2, well, ok I'm checking gmail ONE more time and then turning it off..ONE.

adventures on the ICE train

Hello again friends,
You thought I was on summer break, but I had a day that was just too good not to share.
Warning: post about boobs, milk pumping and opera-mom issues ahead.

So I had an audition yesterday that required me to take a train for 4 hours to another country.
The night before went something like this:
7pm- first attempted bed time. Baby wakes up after 20 minutes, crying and inconsolable unless picked up and held.
8pm- 2nd attempted bed time. See above, only this time it lasted until 11:07pm
Finally feed and get to bed- 1am feeding, 2am loses the pacifier and wakes up, 3am feeding, and my alarm goes off at 5am.
Shower, do my hair, get in comfy clothes and bring the audition clothes ready for my long train ride during which I can hopefully sleep.

Also, did I mention, bring my hand pump?
Yea--- 9am in the ICE train bathroom was the first batch. Pumping on a moving train in a gross tiny bathroom- totally not my idea of fun times.

Arrive at the opera house at 11, warm up, sing audition at 12, pump again before I leave (this time in the NICE bathroom within a private warm-up room at the opera house), and then get BACK on a 4 hour train to arrive home 13 hours later at 6pm.

Oh, the audition? Yea, it went really really really well. Helps when you're singing one of your all-time favorite arias for consideration for that same role.
Too bad all the other sopranos were ALSO singing said aria- how DO these panels ever choose?
Is there just one clear OBVIOUS yes? Or is there ever fighting?
Well I like that voice, but SHE acted better, but SHE lives in Europe, but SHE etc. etc. etc.

Aaanyway, I'm glad that I had the audition and the chance to feel like I'm kicking some booty in my summer of music-learning!

End of mommy-boob-tales.

progress

Does high-lighting 1/3 of my upcoming score (until the yellow got really really pale) count as doing prep work for next-modern-piece-2013?

Methinks it does!

Happy Summer Y'all!

My last performance went very well, and just as quickly as this whole experiment in being a working opera singer-mom began, it's all over- at least for 2 months!

Of course, that doesn't mean I won't be practicing, coaching my upcoming Zerb which will be my first ever since I did the 2nd half in a studio program as a young'n, learning a NEW role for January (modern music aaaagain, and this time I'm PRETTY sure I can't use the score for half of it! ha).
I will of course be attempting to do that while juggling a 4.5 month old through 7 month old- which means- teething, first foods, and did I mention teething?

I've gotten back into Bikram. Can't go as often as I'd like because it just doesn't work that way with a baby that decides that rather than every 3-4 hours, he'd NOW, RIGHT NOW like to eat, RIGHT NOW- which puts a damper on actually getting out the door and 'doing things'.

Also the whole sleeping thing (ie, lack there of) is pretty rough. There are better nights and worse nights. This past week was a phase (hopefully!) of.. worse.

SO. Enough about babies.
Let's talk about career stuff!!
There are two possibilities that are still open for next season, and that I really really really hope I can be considered for.
ONE is my ABSOLUTELY FAVORITE music/composer (I actually had the overture on my 'birthing center room' playlist..who knows if it played or not, I was pushing and 'operatically screaming' too loudly to hear anything else)-- and as of right now I THINK that there is a role that is still not yet cast. Waiting to hear from manager about whether it is cast, and whether I can be considered with or without an audition there!

The second one is another Koenigin- but one that I've done before that is having a Wiederaufnahme next year. Soooo- from ALL of the Queens that they've had as Einspringers there, and the ones that were Fest and maybe not anymore, I would LIKE to be the one they choose to invite back.

We shall see. Both inquiries have been made by my manager and now we just wait and see.
I guess I shouldn't think about it TOO much, but ahhh-- it would be SO nice to JUST add these two small things to my season next year and then I'd be a happy momma-singer/singer-momma.

So far the work-life-balance thing has not even been a question. I've enjoyed every second of rehearsal AND every second of being at home. And also every second on the road, in the car, in the train, back and forth, and traveling SO that I could have 'balance' and not just stay in a hotel for a week by myself and then sing a show.

Happy Summer to everyone- not sure how much I'll be updating unless I start to seriously do some coachings that I write notes here about.