'konzept'- or, whatever the French version of that is...

Ok, I can't keep it in any longer, and so I must blog.
I have sung this role before, people.
Yes, I have only sung it 4 TIMES before (4 productions, I mean...of course last year I sang this role for 9 performances, and still have a whole other production coming up in January), but I've still sung it. In a "konzept" version, in a stand and sing version, in a 'come up from a fiery mountain beneath the stage trap door' version, and in a 'normal, enter from wings, yell at pamina, exit from wings' version.

And my question is, simply... how many different ways can you freak a Koenigin out right before she has to sing DER HOELLE RACHE?!
The ONE aria in the show that EVERYONE knows? and the REASON that we get hired for the role? ie- the PERFECT F's!?
Really? You want me to enter on a revolving what? And go into what trap door halfway through the aria?
With dancers underneath me making noise with props that they have to use DURING the aria?
Oh- awesome, because I just thought that you wanted me to sing it without feeling like I have to throw up.
That would be nice.

OK, deeeeep cleaaaannnnssssing breaths.
Really, this will NOT be a problem for opening night (which is in 14 days). It will NOT.
But RIGHT NOW, I have to 'travel' onto the stage for the entire dialogue on a RAKED revolving prop that is NOT being pushed smoothly and mechanically, but by people- INSIDE, that have to get their mark right on stage, while INSIDE the prop. And when they DON"T get it onstage right, They futz with it. And push it. And each one of those little pushes, while I'm standing up on top of the dang thing, makes me wobble- in my FOUR INCH HEELS and knee-baring costume. I can't even take a 'man stance' to plant myself because I have to be all dainty-like with my legs on it.

Then, I have to say all of the dialogue while they prop 'finds it's mark' and adjusts, WHILE walking around on said rotating THING. THEN, since there are no BRAKES on said prop, every time I take a step forward, backward or sideways, it comes WITH me a bit.
YEP. And that's how I get to sing Der Hoelle Rache.

Oh, and then I have to go in a trap door in the middle of the aria. And then sing the rest of it from HALFWAY in the trap.

I'm not saying that the concept isn't good..actually, it's QUITE a good idea. But what has taken over this week is the need for a perfect 'picture' to emerge onstage with the props and dancers and acrobatics that the concept has in mind, and it is currently pitting itself against Mozart. And to that, I say- Mozart was a genius. Don't mess with him.