more from tonight

a. for some reason my computer is really slowing down- enough that while I'm typing this sentence, it's about 10 to 12 words behind where I actually am. Hmm....could that be because 1. I uploaded too many pictures and my memory is low? 2. I have too many applications running, 3. I am charging it at weird hours from an adaptor --even though it does get to 100%? or 4. It needs to be turned off and given a little breakie?

b. while on the tram on the way back from Rosenkavalier I was discussing among other things, a Fulbright, and if I applied for one, how it would be to stay in the US, and have someone kick my ass. So yes, an asskicking fulbright. So that I can be really thin and toned and buff (asskicker number one is a personal trainer), know a lot of music (asskicker number two is a coach to work with every day for one hour on repertoire that I will eventually sing..in life), keep up my languages and not lose them after this month of intensity (asskicker number three is someone to speak to me, or three people, in French German and Italian....either the days will rotate, or they can come have a meal with me--three per day-and we can just discuss daily things--- it works out great)..there was a longer list of my application requirements all filled with some sort of reference to asskicking.

But seriously, if I were thinking of applying, and I'm not sure which country I'd want to go to, I would definitely involve some budget for the physical appearance. Because as much as people don't want to say it or admit it "for real", lookism happens, and hearing voices that are "just pretty" or "pretty, really good, but not amazing" or "really great but nothing that unique" yet seeing a tall thin picture of perfection on stage leads me to wonder...how MUCH really..and I mean really..does that have to do with this?

Even if a voice is really really REALLY good, were they picked for their voice PLUS looks, were the looks a requirement, was there a voice that was BETTER but didn't have the right looks? I just wonder.

And there is even more, but it's 1:48 and I have to wake up at 7:20 to get to class on time.