back 'home'

Although I'm not really sure what I can call home these days, seeing signs that are written ONLY in English felt like a return to 'something normal'.
I arrived at the airport yesterday morning, stayed awake for as long as I could, and woke up around 6:30am today. Not too bad for post-Europe jetlag, but I will still be tired 'early' tonight, I'm sure.

The run-down of life for the past month and a half? The right choice.
For so many reasons.

For all of the crazy last minute decisions that I had to make, this one felt right...and so I can say that I'm glad that I went, glad that I had the opportunity to do the 'important' audition that most of the decision was based on, and no, I don't have an answer or feedback yet..still waiting to see if this possibility could work out for a future season.

Looking at finances again (because that's just what I do, I guess)--I again saved as much as possible while I was there, paying for 4 cheap hotels, and with the Eurail travel, again, saved a lot of money that would have otherwise been spent on travel. Food? Yes, it was expensive, but that's a given anywhere unless you live on Ramen Noodles like in college...and frankly, I didn't see those in the stores...nor did I have a microwave to heat water!

Considering what the next 6 months will look like is my new pet project.
Working backwards:
I know what I'm doing beginning in Mid-December through early February.
Upcoming shows 1 and 2.
I know that I want to be in the US for the majority of 'ny audition season', but the thing is..looking at my calendar from last year, I had three auditions between August 15 and September 20th, and then tons of auditions only after October 20th. The audition season that once was September, October, November, December, is now looking more and more like- end of October through December...due to financing, I'm sure--but still. Unknown.

Add to that my wish to return to Germany to do this YET again...at the 'right' season--even though September is still on the early side of auditioning for theaters that may not know what openings they have for the next season.

Add to that general anticipation of possibly hearing that I've made a good enough impression from previous-big-audition-in-Europe to actually GET the job? Maybe?? And then know that I am "set" for a certain period of time..which would of course mean, that I don't HAVE to worry about what is on the schedule for 2010 in the Fall.
Ok, that is the longest shot ever, but it would make me so so ridiculously happy to know that I don't have to think about where I'm moving/living every 5-6 weeks if that kind of offer came my way.

So, apparently because of 'life', somehow my 'ideal' has changed a bit. It's not 'ideal' for me to hang out in NYC with friends from August to December, as I did last year, and wait around for auditions to happen or not happen while living it up in the big city--because there IS a place I'd rather be, or rather, a certain person I'd rather be with--who happens to be NOT in NYC.

That doesn't mean I will ever just give up on NYC...I know I need to be there for auditions in the US, and how important it is to try and get there during audition season. And I remember how many auditions I missed when I was doing a production across the country that only ended in Mid-November about 2 years ago..and how I didn't know what to think--was it better that I was doing this job, or was I missing too many audition opportunities for NEXT year?!

In short, there are a number of decisions to be made. And again, they must be made without confirmation of specific auditions or work in either place that I'd like to be in the next few months.

Off to pack my things yet again, for a few days of 'country' unpacking, repacking, going through stuff in the basement that has been there for 10 years and deciding what I'm keeping and what I'm giving away, and then Boston for a few days.